Weird and Pissed Off

In Case Anyone Still Visits Here...

2011-07-03T22:58:00.003-04:00

If it weren't already obvious, I've abandoned this blog. Sorry, Blogger. You'll always hold a special place in my heart, but I've moved on to Tumblr.

My 2010 Movie Yearbook

2010-12-31T12:00:00.009-05:00

For the past few years I've written an annual Top 10 Best/Worst Movies Of The Year blog. This year, honestly, I can't be bothered. As you probably already know if you're reading this post, Jesse and I also do a yearly Top 10 list on The Sidetracked Podcast, so writing and posting a text version here seems a bit redundant. However, if you're interested, my previous best/worst of the year blogs can be found at the following links: 2007, 2008, 2009

With that said, I did something this year that I've never done before. I kept a chronological list of every single movie I watched for the entirety of 2010. So, instead of writing up a bunch of reviews, here is that list with a few notations and other tidbits.

Number Of Movies I Saw In The Theater In 2010: 43

Number Of Trips I Made To The Theater In 2010: 48

Number Of Movies Released In 2010 Which I Saw In 2010: 62

Total Number Of Movies Watched In 2010: 236

***The films I saw in the theater are marked by this symbol:

JANUARY
District 9
Disturbia (commentary)
Bad Boys (commentary)
The Brothers Solomon (commentary)
Ace Ventura: Pet Detective (commentary)
Austin Powers (commentary)
Cliffhanger (commentary)
28 Days Later (commentary)
Beverly Hills Cop (commentary)
American Pie (commentary)
American Pie 2 (commentary)
Youth In Revolt
Bowfinger (commentary)
American Wedding (commentary)
The Rundown
Bulletproof Monk
Daybreakers
Up In The Air
The Book Of Eli
Big Fan
The Lovely Bones
Universal Soldier: Regeneration
The Cove
Basket Case
Evolution
Mission Impossible
Mission Impossible 3
Youth In Revolt
Slither
The TV Set
Dune
The Imaginarium Of Dr. Parnassus
Outland
Innerspace
From Hell
Election
Stuck
Primal Fear
The Road
Give 'Em Hell Malone
Legion
Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid
Mission Impossible 3 (commentary)
Edward Scissorhands (commentary)
Xtro

At the beginning of January I performed my annual rummaging-through of my comic book collection, which usually spans the course of several sittings, and is the reason why I watched so many commentaries, as they didn't require my full attention at all times. The discerning reader will also notice that I went through a bit of a Seann William Scott phase after re-visiting the entire American Pie trilogy. This endeavor resulted in more bad viewing experiences than good.

FEBRUARY
The Toxic Avenger
Gattaca
The Hard Way
A Serious Man
Zombieland
The Time Traveler's Wife
Whiteout
Law Abiding Citizen
Planet Hulk
Cloudy With A Chance Of Meatballs
Cold Souls
Couples Retreat
House Of The Devil
Club Paradise
The Tournament
Edge Of Darkness
The Skeleton Key
Phone Booth
Black Dynamite
Shutter Island
The Invention Of Lying
Where The Wild Things Are
Triangle
Severance
Cop Out
Talladega Nights
Mr. Woodcock
Shutter Island
The Sandlot

MARCH
The Wolf Man
The Last Temptation Of Christ
Dead Snow
The Quiet Earth
Gentlemen Broncos
Brooklyn's Finest
Raw Deal
Super High Me
The Fourth Kind
Collateral
Whip It
Ghost In The Shell
Alice In Wonderland
Ink
The Lathe Of Heaven (1980)
Kick-Ass
Nacho Libre
Once Upon A Time In America
Ninja Assassin
Green Zone
Training Day
Repo Men
Elvis
Bait
Cobra
The Pit And The Pendulum
Old School
Slap Shot
Friday
The Thin Blue Line

Up until this point, as you can see, 2010 was a very dense movie-watching year for me. I would attribute this partially to the fact that the end of every year brings about a lot of retrospective looks at the previous year's films, and I was excited to begin a new year of viewing. Honestly, looking back at this list now, I'm a bit surprised that I watched so many films between January and March, but as you'll see, things thinned out considerably in the coming months.

APRIL
The Staircase
From Beyond
House
The Machinist
The Rookie
Hot Tub Time Machine
The Princess And The Frog
The Crazies (1973)
The Losers
Ghostbusters
Tales From The Script
The Accidental Spy
Gorgeous
The Medallion

I wish that I'd kept a list like this one a few years ago when I fell deep into my first heavy Jackie Chan kick and watched about 30 of his movies over the span of a few weeks. Thanks to all of the Hollywood Video locations in my area going out of business around this time, I was able to pick up many of Jackie's less popular films for next to nothing, which allowed me to go on another mini JC spree at the tail end of April, which trickled over into May and even a bit in June.

MAY
The Hammer
Ghostbusters II
Kick-Ass
Iron Man
Iron Man 2
The Slammin' Salmon
The Human Centipede
The Prisoner
The Tuxedo
The Trouble With Harry
Iron Man 2
Grizzly Man
Leaves Of Grass
Robin Hood
The Fisher King
The Company Of Wolves
A Sound Of Thunder

JUNE
Police Story
Splice
Fire and Ice
Gladiator
The Karate Kid (2010)
The A-Team
The Karate Kid (1984)
Cloverfield (RiffTrax)
From Paris With Love
Goodfellas
Toy Story 3
Do The Right Thing
Charlie's Angels
Knight & Day
The Last Samurai

As a massive fan of everything MST3K, I'm surprised that I never got around to trying out Rifftrax until June of 2010, but I finally gave one a shot with Cloverfield this month. I enjoyed the experience and look forward to downloading some more 'trax in the future.

JULY
Taps
Pontypool
The Crazies (2010)
Ed Brubaker's Angel Of Death
Predators
Inception
Inception
Justice League: Crisis On Two Earths
3 Days Of The Condor

July was my least productive month as far as movies were concerned. This can be partially attributed to my week-long family vacation to North Carolina, during which I only watched Inception for a second time. I did watch portions of several movies on TV during the week (including Superstar, Miss Congeniality, and Hope Floats), but I only included movies on this list which I viewed in their entirety.

AUGUST
Bronson
Vanilla Sky
Ghostbusters
Night Moves
Scott Pilgrim Vs The World
The Expendables
Alien (virtual workprint)
The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo
Date Night
Paper Heart
The Losers
G.I. Joe: Rise Of The Cobra
The Deep

Locating and watching a copy of the "virtual workprint" of Alien was a noteworthy achievement in August. The virtual workprint is a cut of the film which literally utilizes every piece of footage available to create the most complete, though not necessarily very "finished", version of the film possible. The theatrical and director's cuts of Alien are absolutely both superior to the virtual workprint, but for a fan of Alien as big as I, viewing this version of the film was an incredible, memorable, eye-opening experience.

SEPTEMBER
Who Can Kill A Child?
Clash Of The Titans
I Love You Phillip Morris
The Girl Who Played With Fire
Prince Of Persia
Futurama: Bender's Game (commentary)
White Men Can't Jump
Over The Top
MacGruber
The Last Exorcism
The Town
Piranha 3D
Night Of The Creeps
Halloween III: Season Of The Witch
Candyman
Ginger Snaps
Eden Lake
The Collector
More Than A Game

As you can see, with October rapidly approaching, I began to get into the Halloween spirit by watching several back-to-back horror movies. The trend continued into the beginning of October, but I think that I accumulated about 2 or 3 times as many horror films as I actually got around to watching.

OCTOBER
Spontaneous Combustion
The People Under The Stairs
Night Of The Demons
Splice
Wishmaster
La Bamba
The Poughkeepsie Tapes
RED
Altered
The Social Network
Sword Of The Stranger
Dreamscape
Aliens
The Monster Squad
Paranormal Activity 2
Jonah Hex
Sleepaway Camp

Notable in October is that this particular viewing of Aliens was my first time seeing the film on Blu-ray with color correction overseen by James Cameron himself. For me, it was probably about as close to a religious experience as I'm bound to have.

NOVEMBER
Catfish
The Last Broadcast
Batman: Under The Red Hood
Skyline
Dead Calm
Wall-E
Harry Potter And The Deathly Hallows Part 1
Salt
Faster
Buried
The Bad News Bears (1976)
Big
Despicable Me

DECEMBER
Get Him To The Greek
The Hole
Sin City
Pieces
Unico In The Island Of Magic
TRON
True Grit (1969)
The Girl Who Kicked The Hornet's Nest
Monsters
Machete
Shaun Of The Dead
How To Train Your Dragon
TRON Legacy
AVATAR
True Grit (2010)

Around this time of year I normally try to catch up on a large number of films released in the previous 11 months that I'd somehow missed out on. Between Get Him To The Greek, The Hole, Monsters, Machete, and How To Train Your Dragon, you can see that I made a valiant effort to do just that, but other endeavors impeded my ability to watch as many films over the last few months as I'd have liked. Still, I'd say that I had a fairly movie-packed year overall.

And that's that. 236 movies in 365 days. If only I'd kept track of all of the TV shows I watched this year...now THAT would be a list. I know that over the course of 2010 I re-watched all 9 seasons of Seinfeld, 7 full seasons of The Simpsons, 2 seasons of 24, and the entire run of Peep Show to date (7 seasons). Then there's all of the Dexter, LOST, Breaking Bad, Bored To Death, Futurama, Venture Brothers, Walking Dead, and Mystery Science Theater 3000 that I caught up on this year.

Jeez...when did I find the time to sleep?!

The Best of Twitter 6/10 - 9/10

2010-12-15T17:00:00.001-05:00

Whenever I read a funny, or otherwise noteworthy tweet from one of the 300+ people I follow on Twitter, I make a point to "favorite" it, which catalogs the chosen 140-ish characters so that I may easily re-visit them later. This post is a way for me to share those tweets which I thought were worth a second glance with an audience they may not receive otherwise.

The last time I wrote one of these blogs, it collected some of my favorite tweets from the previous year. Ever since then I began exercising the "Favorite" button more frequently, which is why this blog only contains roughly 7 months' worth of tweets. Hopefully that means that I've been taking the time to recognize more quality tweets than I had previously, and not that I've subconsciously lowered my favoriting standards just to have an excuse to write another blog. I'll let you decide.

@warrenellis I believe Mel Gibson should be the next Batman, and he should end his every line with "...but you will blow me first."

@pattonoswalt Just visited MySpace. Half the lights are out, bears are living in my comments section, and a homeless guy's been pooping in my blog.

@EricCanete Jeezus. If I've gotta spoiler alert Hunt for Red October for you...sorry, but it's not my fault you're fuckin' lame.

@warrenellis When writing animation, you inevitably reach the point where you think: okay, time to make the animators weep with pain.

@writerspy Writers who name minor characters things like "Fat Guy" and "Boobs" fail to consider those names land on some poor actor's IMDb page.

@pattonoswalt How did my daughter shit straight up her back? Am I in The Matrix?

@diablocody I just saw INCEPTION. Ellen wears these cute little neckerchiefs in almost every scene. I loved it. #GirlReview

@JElvisWeinstein Bill Clinton says he'd like to climb Mt Kilimanjaro before he dies. Sounds like "two birds with one stone" territory to me.

@Greenskyzero the mac spell check knows Injins is wrong and recommends changing it to indians??? my red brothers...I give you Progress!!!!!!!

@warrenellis Ah, people dressed as Ghostbusters, you do indeed smell like hosing the dead.

@adamcarolla Watching my daughter playing with her ipad. I had an ipad when I was her age, it was called an etch-a-sketch. #freakout

@JElvisWeinstein Going out to dinner with my wife for our 11th anniversary. If she doesn't order onions on her Subway Club, I'll know I'm in.

@JElvisWeinstein Number of people dressed as superheroes in one place: 5000+. Number of crimes foiled: 0

@warrenellis Me: iTunes, what's going on? iTunes: I'm fucking your mother's bones. Towel me off and I might let you update your apps.

@errantways My desire for a healthy, trim body is often overpowered by my desire to eat a can of frosting and a box of cookies while laying in bed.

@warrenellis Just played my daughter the song I want played at my funeral. Daughter: "You sure you don't want 'Heaven Is A Halfpipe'?"

@adamcarolla fridays at 5:30 aren't nearly as fun when you don't have a job. On the other hand I'll have my revenge monday morning.

@adamcarolla My girl is playing w/a toy cash register,my son is playing w/a dump truck.Cute,but if they grow up and work w/ these things,I'll kill myself

@adamcarolla watched x games. why do the bmx big air guys leave the huge pegs on the axles? isn't that just one more thing to go up their ass on impact

@MarkBrooksArt they're filming Vampire Diaries down the street! Quick, where's my flamethrower?!

@adamcarolla Let me just say this, if Joy Behar was the voice of my GPS, I'd steer into the first 18 wheeler I saw.

@fetorpse I'm never going to figure out how to spell occaisionally

@AnthonyRaneri Not sure if the correct verb is "using" or "wearing" so I'll just say that I'm currently utilizing a snuggie

@michaelianblack Idea to make bowling really weird: paint the pins so they very realistically resemble crying children.

@Christosgage If I don't shave pretty soon I'm going to have to start a cult.

@adamcarolla In Denver, just joined the mile high club by beating off in hotel shower. A wins a win.

@warrenellis Sometimes I think 50 FIRST DATES was the first great horror film of the 2000's.

@SarahKSilverman My favorite planets are Mercury, Saturn and Mazda.

@mattfraction i think i misspell "misspell" every time i spell it

@skottieyoung Watching Lost s6. It's like your High School girlfriend. She was great but you just don't like her anymore yet you won't break up with her.

@JElvisWeinstein Back from Servo vs Servo panel here at #dragoncon. @kwmurphy and I will always share the bond of having our hand up the same ass.

@warrenellis Daughter snarkily amazed that I cooked a stirfry and didn't kill her. In retrospect, and for different reasons, so am I.

@jerhaun You know, the X-Files would be a COMPLETELY different show if they had smart phones.

@SarahKSilverman The kid on 2 1/2 Men is a man. They have to change the title to Three Men. I WILL DIE ON THIS HILL

@bclaymoore Oh, see....on That 70s Show, Eric is sleeping on Spider-Man sheets featuring a logo not used until the 90s. What a CROCK! I QUIT!

@pattonoswalt Facebook dead. Also MySpace. Twitter has 2 more weeks. Friendster now meta-ironic. Get ready for BlabberSplat in November!

@benito_cereno The LOST finale was beautiful and poetic from my pov. I guess i am too dumb to have been confused by it.

@warrenellis Can't wait for Halloween. Been storing candy for the local kids in those old underpants I found in the woods ALL YEAR.

@ScottAukerman SUPERHERO TRAGEDIES Spiderman: "My uncle died because of me." Batman: "My parents died in front of me" Cyclops: "I have to wear sunglasses!"

@pattonoswalt You: "Why me?" The Universe: "And you are...?"

@warrenellis Spent last 3 hrs un-virusing Lili's laptop & explaining that if I catch her using IE again I will confiscate her arms.

@Pacifistoffury The worst advice I've ever followed is, "Be yourself."

@errantways I'm worried that the most meaningful obstacles I'll have to overcome in my life will be papercuts and carpal tunnel syndrome.

@benitocereno Oh my god, sitting down is the best thing.

@clastowka If Tom Brokaw wrote a book about people my age, instead of "The Greatest Generation" he could call it "You Guys Remember Thundercats?"

@errantways Does it make me sound like a grinch to say that the sound of most christmas carols makes me want to scratch my own eyes out?

@rosscampbell transformers 3 trailer crashed my browser. probably for the best.

@warrenellis finally, a word iPhone won't try to autocorrect: "shitwaffle"

@anthonyjeselnik I've spent two years looking for my ex-girlfriend's killer. But no one will do it.

@pattonoswalt Is it called "Wet Seal" 'cuz "Whore Depot" was taken?

And finally, here's a 2-parter to end off with:

@james_gunn Pure heaven: watching Celebrity Rehab & eating @mia_matsumiya's gooey butter pumpkin cake.

@james_gunn And by 'gooey butter pumpkin cake' I do NOT mean 'vagina'. (But by 'Celebrity Rehab' I do mean 'fisting.')

"Rise" On The Rise

2010-11-22T14:30:00.002-05:00

It's time to be an annoying nerd for a moment. I (along with many others, I'm sure) was disappointed to hear that the next Batman film is to be called "The Dark Knight Rises". Here is why:

And those are just the ones that I came up with off the top of my head. There have been many more movies released over the last few years with some form of "Rise" in the their titles. Enough already!

Why not "The Dark Knight Returns"? At least that title is already synonymous with Batman (and one of his most beloved stories).

Oh, and for the record, I still think that "Batman Begins" is shit title as well.

Mercury And The Murd Vol. 2 Announced!

2010-10-28T18:40:00.000-04:00

I lifted the following article from PKD Media.

There have been many major changes going on at PKD Media this week, and with artist/co-creator Chad Cicconi and writer/co-creator Shawn Pryor now working extensively with Action Lab Entertainment, many thought that the buddy-cop comedy team of “Mercury & the Murd” would come to an end.

However, that is the furthest from the case. In fact, “Mercury & the Murd” is stronger than ever and moving forward. Today PKD Media announces writer Mike Imboden and artists Rian Miller & Jason Meadows as the new creative team for Volume Two of the buddy-cop action series tentatively titled, “Down & Dirty.”

“I knew that I was leaving Mercury & the Murd in good hands with Mike (Imboden),” said Shawn Pryor, who is serving on the book as the plotter & editor. “I was so worried that we wouldn’t be able to continue the flagship franchise for PKD Media, and I was already being overwhelmed with the amount of work I was already taking on. I had formulated all the plots for Volume Two, and Mike has been able to take these plots and transform them into well written, fun, character driven stories that have everything for fan of the series and first time readers.”

Many readers know of Mike Imboden as creator of the popular Fist of Justice comic book series, which is currently being shopped for film treatment. He also spearheaded bringing artist Rian Miller to the project as well.

“Mike e-mailed some rough sketches that Rian (Miller) did of Mercury & the Murd and as soon as I saw them the green light was given for him to handle pencils & inks. Jason Meadows (of LeadSlinger Studios) & I go back a few years and he’ll be laying down the tones & lettering. Rian & Jason are hard workers so when the book is ready to go to press it’ll be top-notch. Plus it’ll have a beautiful cover by Jun Bob Kim & Steve Bryant. What’s not to love?”

Mercury & the Murd Volume Two is set to debut at the Comic Geek Speak Super Show on April 30th, 2011.

For further details, contact pkdmail [at] pkdmedia [dot] com

Ready For My Close-up

2010-10-28T18:35:00.002-04:00

So, I'm in a TV commercial. It's for the comic book store I work at (Beyond Comics in Frederick, MD).

You can only see the commercial during the premier of The Walking Dead TV show on AMC. You can also only see the commercial if you live in Maryland. You can also only see the commercial if you're located in either Frederick County or Montgomery County. You can also only the see the commercial if you have Comcast.

Well, none of that's technically true. You can also see the commercial here:

Enjoy my bald spot and horrible acting.

10 Video Games That I Love

2010-08-06T16:00:00.003-04:00

I don't play a lot of video games these days, nor was I ever what I would really consider a "hardcore gamer", but I've saved a princess or two in my day. I started off with my father's Intellivision, then graduated to a Sega Genesis, and on to three straight generations of Sony Playstations. Between those milestones I've played a lot of different games on a lot of different consoles with a lot of different people. While I've surely only played a fraction of the number of games that are out there, it was still a pain in the ass to assemble this list. So for what it's worth, here are my favorite video games of all time (until I change my mind a few days from now).

NOTE: Taking a cue from my friend Joel, I'm only going to include one title from any given franchise on the list to avoid this becoming the Top 10 Metal Gear Solid and Resident Evil Games.

#10: RED FACTION 2

(Playstation 2)
This is a very personal pick. I don't even care for the single player game all that much, and honestly I prefer the story of the original to this sequel, but I think I may have spent more hours playing Red Faction 2's deathmatch than I ever have any other game, on or offline. I have a lot of memories attached to this game which I can't really explain to the common person, but I think that, even if you don't care for Red Faction 2, every gamer has a game or two like this one that they've played so many times with their friends that it became infamous among them. I'm betting that Halo, Call Of Duty, and World Of Warcraft would fill that hole for many gamers, but Red Faction 2 does it for me.

#9: GHOSTBUSTERS: THE VIDEO GAME

(Playstation 3)
This one is all about wish fulfillment. Ghostbusters was my all-time favorite movie...scratch that...all time favorite THING until I saw Aliens for the first time when I was 7 years old. While I liked the Sega Genesis game, the cartoons, and the 80's/90's toy line, ever since I was a little kid I wanted film-accurate action figures and a film-accurate video game based on Ghostbusters. Mattel's new "Adult Collector" line of Ghostbuster toys fulfilled the former wish, and this game finally fulfilled the latter.

If I weren't a fan of the franchise, I'm sure this game would hold no interest for me, but it's the familiar sounds, visuals, and concepts that make it so worthwhile. I seriously couldn't wipe the stupid grin off of my face the first time I fired up my proton pack and let loose with the neutrana wand in this game. The sounds ripped straight from the movies and the feeling that I was controlling the genuine article gave me a feeling of satisfaction that I'd waited a long time to experience. I still get a kick out of it every time I actually control the action of struggling to trap a ghost in Ghostbusters: The Video Game.

#8: ARMY OF TWO: THE 40TH DAY

(Playstation 3)
If you have a good friend who is as into 3rd person shooters as you are, as far as I'm concerned, there is no better gaming experience on Earth than sitting down with this game and beating the shit out of it as a two man team.

The level of cooperation it requires to play through this game makes it the closest experience most people will ever have to living a buddy action film. Sure there are more popular franchises like Call Of Duty which allow you to play team deathmatch, but actually sitting next to your friend in the same room and calling out for help or more ammo while under enemy fire is a hair-raisingly intense and satisfying experience. It's not uncommon, however, to be wounded and require assistance from a fellow player in any number of games these days. But how many of those games allow you to continue blasting away at your enemies while your partner drags you to safety behind cover where he/she can administer a shot of health? I dare say none but Army Of Two.

That's just one example of the way that this game makes you rely upon, trust, and respect your partner's abilities, though. Firing back to back while surrounded by hostiles, swapping weapons and ammo on the fly, spotting enemies for your sniper rifle-equipped partner when you're pinned down in a dangerous spot, and working together to rescue hostages from multiple baddies by coordinating your stealth attacks are just a few more. I'll cap off my explanation of The 40th Day's excellence by saying that the online multiplayer for this game is greatly improved from that of it's predecessor, and the ability to design custom face masks online for use in-game is just plain cool.

#7: SILENT BOMBER

(Playstation)
This is my Super Mario Brothers or Sonic The Hedgehog. This is the platformer which I hold dear to my heart. It's a PS1 game with shitty voice acting in which you play an effeminate dude with purple hair who does dashes and flips, and blows up robots with remote-detonated bombs. It's super fast paced and has a percussion-heavy electronic score. As you progress through the game you earn items which allow you to upgrade the number of bombs that you can plant at once, as well as increase the distance you can be from your targets while still locking onto them. There are also multiple types of bombs you can add to your arsenal which have varying effects on your opponents.

In essence, Silent Bomber is a more involved, more extreme, and more awesome version of Bomber Man...if Bomber Man were a platformer...and if Bomber Man were a petite, girly man named Jutah (yoo-tah). My great shame is that I've never been able to beat the final boss. I've fought that bastard until my fingers were numb and never managed to overcome his array of murderous chess pieces (yeah, that's right...sentient chess pieces), but that doesn't stop me from popping in the disc and facing him again once every year or so. I would kill for a new version of this game with better graphics and new levels.

#6: BURNOUT 3: TAKEDOWN

(Playstation 2)
I'm not into cars. I'm not into racing. The closest I get to being interested in either of those things are The Fast And The Furious and Burnout 3: Takedown. When some friends and I were hanging out one night several years ago and one of them popped this game into his XBox, I remember thinking that I was going to be bored out of my mind for the next few hours. What I was expecting was the realistic racing "action" of Gran Turismo. What I saw before me were explosions and motorized mayhem. Boy, do I love this game. On the surface it's a fast-paced racing game, but once you play it you'll realize that doing high-speed battle with your opponents is half of what Burnout is all about.

Scraping paint with the other drivers, rear-ending them, or taking one out of the race completely by running them off of the track and into an obstacle are encouraged by rewarding you with extra "boost" with which to outrun, or catch up to, your fellow racers. There's even a mode called "Road Rage" in which taking out other cars is your main goal. And then there's "Crash Mode", which sets you a few hundred yards away from a busy intersection and allows you to ram your way through civilian vehicles to cause as much monetary damage as possible. This mode is incredibly fun, especially when playing against a friend to see who can do more damage.

As fun as those modes are, I've found that I can get pretty tied up in the standard races, too. The single player game features a series of races (as well as Crash and Road Rage modes) which take you to multiple worldwide locales, each with a variety of courses, making for some of the most stunning scenery I can recall from a PS2 title. It's so great to race along the Autobahn and see the setting sun reflect off of the blacktop with a gorgeous purple and yellow sky in the background. In addition to the visuals and attitude of the game, the incorporation of a Pop/Rock soundtrack featuring 44 tracks by such artists as My Chemical Romance, Yellowcard, Franz Ferdinand, Amber Pacific, Fall Out Boy, and Reggie And The Full Effect adds a mood to the gameplay that really appealed to a 20 year old me. Real life DJ Stryker even cuts into the music from time to time to tell you about the track and competition, adding to the experience. Not before, nor since, have I played a racing game that has been able to hold my attention like Burnout 3: Takedown. Just typing up this review makes me want to play it!

#5: POWER STONE

(Dreamcast)
My all-time favorite fighting game. I'm not really a fan of the genre, but this is the one major exception. Some people are into Tekken, Street Fighter, or Mortal Kombat, but I live for Power Stone.

My favorite thing about the game is that it's not all about simply punching and kicking your enemy for the sake of beating him/her up. You knock each other around with your hands, feet, and weapons, but also have the ability to use the awesomely interactive environments against your opponent. You can whip yourself off of lamp posts into high-powered kicks if you're a small character, or rip that same lamp post out of the ground and swing it around if you're a big guy. You can pick up tables, chairs, and boxes to throw at your enemy, or if you're being pursued, you can leap over an object and slide it between your legs in one fluid motion to take out whoever is on your tail. But if the attackee is fast enough, they can catch the item you just launched at them and throw it right back at you.

With all of the juggling, dodging, and incorporation of objects into your fight, every battle in Power Stone feels like an action scene from a Jackie Chan movie (which probably goes a long way in explaining why I like the game's style so much). That's not even the best part, though. Rather than simply trying to knock out your opponent, half of the goal of each fight is to obtain all three of the Power Stones located in each level, because once you do, you essentially go "Super Saiyan" and transform into an even more devastatingly powerful version of your character for a limited time. Between the bright, colorful design of the game, the varied, wacky characters, the wholly original gameplay style, and the fully 3D environments, I can't see how any fan of fighting games could dislike Power Stone.

#4: RESIDENT EVIL 2

(Playstation)
The first Resident Evil game I played, and still the best. I have a closer connection to Leon and Claire than I do to Chris and Jill, because I played this game repeatedly before I ever even experienced the first game in the series. This may be the first truly cinematic, long-form, story-heavy game that I ever played. The closest thing to this type of game that I can think of picking up beforehand was probably Tomb Raider 2, which had a crap story and little-to-no atmosphere. This was also the first "scary" game I played, which was a completely original experience for me, and one that I'll never forget. You know, come to think of it, this may also be the first game I ever played that had FMV cut scenes, which would have also blown my mind at the time.

Nostalgia aside though, this game may have crummy voice acting, but the music, level design, atmosphere, puzzles, and boss fights are all top-notch. Not to mention, I love William Birkin as the main villain, constantly transforming into more hideous enemies to keep you on your toes. Then there's the fact that depending on which character you play as first, you can experience the entire game all over again from another point of view and visit new areas. How awesome is that?! I'm a pretty big fan of this franchise as a whole, but I still feel that Resident Evil 2 was the most well-rounded, inventive installment in the series.

#3: TONY HAWK'S UNDERGROUND

(Playstation 2)
I've been with this series since the first game on PS1. Back then I had no idea who Tony Hawk was and didn't realize that there was more to skateboarding than Bart Simpson jetting around Springfield after school. It got me skating in real life and introduced me to an entire subculture that basically influenced just about every path my life took in high school, from the friends I made to the people I looked up to.

This series, for me, also became like riding a bicycle. To this day I can pick up any of the games in the Tony Hawk series at any time, so long as it's on a Playstation, and regardless of how long it's been since I've played one, and kick anyone's ass who I've ever played against. The control scheme and physics are second nature to me now, and I can have a blast at any time just racking up big points with combos and exploring every corner of a level. Even before playing THPS on a PS3 with trophies, I always made the effort to earn every medal, award, and/or achievement in these games, working tirelessly for days at a time to do so. In fact, I have a perfect, 100% unlocked save file for each of the PS1 and PS2 Tony Hawk games saved on memory cards in my possession.

As for why Underground is my favorite of the series, I'll chalk that up, for the most, to the story. This was the first THPS game to feature an actual story mode wherein you start as a regular skater kid in New Jersey and work your way through the ranks of Pro Skater-dom until, within the world created by the game, you really are the best there is. You get a shoe deal at one point in the game and get to create your own custom skate shoes, as well as decks and other apparel. How badass is that? There's also a subplot about a hometown friend of yours who becomes your rival and tries to screw you out of the fame and fortune you've earned. All this while still being the same great, easy to pick up and play skateboarding game. From concept to execution, there's nothing that I dislike about Tony Hawk's Underground.

#2: UNCHARTED 2

(Playstation 3)
Think about the adrenaline rush that you feel while watching the jeep chase sequence in Raiders Of The Lost Ark or the tank chase sequence in Indiana Jones And The Last Crusade. Now imagine not necessarily living those moments, but controlling them. That is what the Uncharted series (especially Uncharted 2) offers gamers. The "WOW moments" are largely what this game is about. Jumping from one moving train car to another while dodging machine gun fire and almost toppling over the edge of a cliff. Hanging from icy ledges while being pursued by pirates and yetis. Other games may offer third person shooter action, but no other offers the environment-based thrills of Uncharted 2.

I like to think of this game as the modern day platformer. It used to be that little sprites hopping from one ledge to another comprised much of what the video game industry was all about, but then shooting games began to take over, and now the name most commonly associated with gaming seems to be Call Of Duty rather than Mario. What Uncharted does is marry the two genres into a perfect gaming experience. Add to the gameplay the likable, nay, loveable characters, excellent writing, and some of the best voice acting ever heard outside of a Disney film, and you've really got an unbelievable gameplay experience on your hands. As an added bonus, Uncharted 2 is the most fun, addicting online multiplayer game this side of the first person shooter.

#1: METAL GEAR SOLID

(Playstation)
Yeah, I'm THAT guy. Metal Gear Solid is my favorite gaming franchise, and while each game has better graphics and more involved gameplay, I still stand by this relic. A lot of the reason for this can probably be chalked up to nostalgia, but there really is no denying this game's ingenuity, mechanics, characters, and story. Resident Evil 2 may have been the first cinematic game that I ever played, but this game took the term "cinematic gameplay" to a whole new level. In other words, it feels like you're playing through the plot of an action movie, which goes a long way in explaining how fantastic the story and writing are.

Much like the way I described the Tony Hawk series above, I can pick this game up at any time and play through it as though I've memorized every page of the strategy guide. I know the story and the gameplay of Metal Gear Solid inside and out, and have beaten the game more times than I can count, my fastest time clocking in at 1 hour and 58 minutes. Solid Snake is my hero, Otacon is my dear friend, Meryl is the object of my desire, and Liquid is my bitter rival. Metal Gear Solid. Nothing beats it.

RUNNERS UP (in alphabetical order):
Army Of Two (Playstation 3)
Cold Winter (Playstation 2)
Dead Space (Playstation 3)
Final Fantasy X (Playstation 2)
Guitar Hero 2 (Playstation 2)
Resident Evil 5 (Playstation 3)
Ring Of Red (Playstation 2)
Uncharted: Drake's Fortune (Playstation 3)
Wild 9 (Playstation)
Wild Arms (Playstation)

Recent Acquisitions 004 - 1 Year Of DVD Bargains

2010-07-01T18:40:00.000-04:00

Most people like to take advantage of a good bargain. I seek them out. Especially when it comes to DVDs.

One of my favorite past times has been walking into Blockbuster Video or a local chain of stores called Record & Tape Traders and buying 3, 4, or 5 used movies for $20 or $25. I used to do this routinely, about once a month, and my DVD collection has severely outgrown my shelf space because of the sheer number of movies I've accumulated over the years at very low prices. Unfortunately, between the end of 2009 and the beginning of 2010, my local Record & Tape Traders location, as well as every single Blockbuster Video and Hollywood Video within reasonable driving distance from my house, have closed their doors. This resulted in a lot of great deals to be had at store liquidation sales, but it also means that there's pretty much nowhere I can go to get my discount DVD fix anymore.

Anyway, as an era began to come to an end, I discovered Twitpic.com and started posting pictures of all of my bargain DVD hauls on the internet. Almost a year later it occurred to me that I'd amassed an inadvertent catalogue of nearly all of my movie purchases made over the course of the previous 12 months. Excluding birthday and Christmas gifts, or any instances when I bought a single DVD or Blu-ray at regular price, the following is a visual record of all of the DVD deals I took advantage of between July 2009 and June 2010, along with the notes I made about them on Twitpic.

(click images to enlarge)

5 DVDs for $20.

Today's discount DVD haul: 7 movies for under $30.

DVD Liquidation Sale - 19 DVDs & 1 Blu-ray.

5 DVDs for $20 from Record & Tape Traders.

Record & Tape store closing haul: 7 DVDs & 1 Blu-ray for $45.

$5 DVD haul. That's the og Pelham. The Hitch set = 20 films.

5 DVDs for $20 from Record & Tape in Towson. I miss the one in Westminster.

4 DVDs for $20.

Taneytown, MD Hollywood Video going out of business sale: 14 DVDs for $70.

12 DVDs 1 TV series & 2 Blu-rays for $90 from 2 closing Hollywood Videos.

25 DVDs & 1 Blu-ray for $34 from the T-town Hollywood Video's closing sale.

11 DVDs for $35 from the Hanover, PA Hollywood Video's closing sale.

9 DVDs for $15 from the Hanover, PA Hollywood Video. Sat is their last day.

6 DVDs for $24 from the Hollywood Video in Frederick.

By my count, that's 128 DVDs and 5 Blu-rays for $553, which works out to just over $4 per movie.

The Best of Twitter 5/09 - 6/10

2010-06-30T15:39:00.001-04:00

I totally stole this idea from Errant Ways, which is the personal blog of the wife of one of the hosts of a podcast I listen to. Cool? Cool.

Basically, I decided to go through my "favorites" on Twitter and pick out some of the noteworthy tweets written by the people I follow over the past year to list here for your reading pleasure. I'm not gonna say they're all comedy gold or anything, but each one of the following tweets struck some kind of chord with me.

benito_cereno @rianmiller People who know absolutely nothing about comics are fine; people who know just a LITTLE bit are the worst. FACT.

RobertKirkman My son and I just watched spider-man 2. Guess how many times he asked "why did spider-man take his mask off?". He's 3 years old.

michaelianblack Thinking of opening a post-apocalyptic theme restaurant called "TGIS" Thank God It's Shelter. Mostly serves canned foods.

thebrianposehn I know I'm not the first person to comment on how nasty baby shit is, but my boy's poo could eat through the hull of the Nostromo.

askanison Alien: Horror, Aliens: Action, Alien 3: Drama, Alien Resurrection: French

McKelvie I've got Myst on my iPhone. That shit used to be 4 CDs!

JayCheel Drag Me To Hell: Proof you don't need to wear glasses to feel like shit is flying at you for an hour and a half. AWESOME.

benito_cereno Attn., Value City Furniture: no one says "sofa potato."

McKelvie Every time I see a red pipe or door now I think I'm supposed to climb it or burst through it. No tattoo under my eye, though.

CBCebulski Japanese news reports a 56 year-old man arrested for stealing girls' panties... dressed as Spider-Man. >sigh< Just once, can't it be Batman?

CBCebulski Comic cons are the ideal hunting grounds for chubby chasers.

headgeek666 Put in TRANSFORMERS on Blu - to remind me of the storyline, before seeing TRANSFORMERS 2 in IMAX tonight. It's like pulling back the scab.

thebrianposehn Off to the gym. Not really,but everybody tweets that. Really gonna watch The Blob (the one with Kevin Dillon) and have a coke for breakfast.

filmjunk Transformers 2 summary: Nononnoonoo OPTIMUS! DRIVE DRIVE DRIVE Gogogogogooggogooo

mattfraction my dad once told me he delayed his entrance into the Army so he could catch the end of a two-part MAN FROM U.N.C.L.E. episode.

radiomaru Amazon: people who bought [2008 movie] also bought [every other 2008 movie, regardless of genre or quality]. who ARE these people?

tonymoore i love working w/ @remender because his scripts have notes like "The dude is for real dead." and "The fuck do I care? Figure it out. Jesus."

fetorpse @tonymoore My dear sweet @benito_cereno leaves me ones like "Establishing shot of tokyo airport. Fuck you, google it."

errantways RT @PolarBear_ Unanswered prayers are NOT god's way of saying you don't need something. They're god's way of saying, "I don't exist."

michaelianblack If you replace "Yankees" with "police" and "Red Sox" with "protestors," the sentence, "The Yankees are beating the Red Sox" is horrible.

fetorpse Hey twitter, whats it called when the big titties kind of spill out of the top of the bra? Is there a name for that? Like tit muffin top.

warrenellis I bought a carton of oat milk just to support the kind of person who can find udders on an oat.

funrama I like Football. But every single game is decided in the final 2 minutes, so football games should only be 2 minutes long.

tonymoore they should change the name of the show to I Will Eat The Balls! With Andrew Zimmern.

warrenellis Did Lindsay Lohan ever have an actual job? Or was she simply deployed by Hollywood podmasters as Your New Famous Person?

robertliefeld Ticket for New Moon purchased....man license revoked. Will draw grim And gritty comic pages to regain self respect tomorrow!

SarahKSilverman I would eat fish but I can't because I have a nose.

cully_hamner @erikjlarsen I don't know if I'd feel right giving a 10-year-old a comic in which Batman breaks the Joker's neck, but hey, I ain't a parent!

warrenellis I would kill for a jam doughnut. You. I would kill you for a jam doughnut.

Greenskyzero so suddenly xmen 3 isnt so bad. brett Ratner must send the wolverine people a card every christmas

warrenellis Me: iTunes For Windows, would you please just open my library? iTunes For Windows: I would rather die than serve you.

fetorpse Falling asleep watching Speed Racer is like falling asleep in a lover's arms.

JayMewes I Have a Boner

warrenellis If anyone here is thinking about killing someone, please leave one of my books at the crime scene. I could use the press.

james_gunn So @mia_matsumiya asked me what I wanted for my birthday. I told her ass-to-mouth.

And, to satisfy my vanity, one of my own tweets which I recall fondly:

rianmiller No, #youmustberetarded. RT @brian_weiner I have a new found respect for Hinder. #imustbedrinking

Oh yeah, follow me on Twitter: @rianmiller

Recent Acquisitions 003: Wizard World Philly '10

2010-06-13T06:00:00.003-04:00

I had planned to write a lot more of these Recent Acquisitions columns, considering that one of my favorite past-times is buying things. Unfortunately, the only times I really think to post one are when I buy a lot of books and things simultaneously. In other words, after comic conventions. I wrote up a list of everything I bought at last year's Wizard World Philly Con, so I figured I'd do the same this year. Again, there are no photos to accompany this list, because I don't feel like spending 5 hours putting together this post. However, the image at the top is a crappy camera phone pic of my copy of Eerie #97 that I took at the show. You can even see the text from my shirt reflected in the mylar sleeve.

Anyway, here's the list:

Art Adams' Creature Features - This trade reprints Adams' adaptation of The Creature From The Black Lagoon, which I already own, but it also reprints a Godzilla story that I've never read.

Bone: One Volume Edition TPB - This book collects the entire 1,300+ pages of Jeff Smith's Bone in it's original black and white for a shockingly low cover price of $39.95. That is already an incredible deal, which is why my jaw hit the floor when I found a copy for 50% off at the show. That's the entire series for $20! What's even more shocking is that, as the day went on, I must have found at least 20 copies of this book at various booths for the same price. When did Bone become a bargain bin item? Anyway, I've been trying to coax my mother into reading Bone for a long time now, and I figured that getting her her very own copy of the One Volume Edition would be the easiest way to make it happen. Honestly, I was tempted to buy every copy of this book that I found at the show just so I could distribute them to all of my friends who haven't read it. I still can't believe how cheap they were!

Astonishing X-Men Omnibus Hardcover - One of my favorite X-Men comics of all time was Joss Whedon and John Cassaday's Astonishing X-Men run, so despite having all of the original issues of the series, I couldn't pass up the Omnibus hardcover (regularly priced at $75) when I found a copy for 1/2 price.

Danger Girl #6 (Maduriera variant) - I, of course, already have this comic. My original copy is in a sad state after years of re-reading it, so I decided to pick up a replacement copy for $2.

The Dirty Pair Book 3: A Plague Of Angels TPB - I already have the single issues of this series, but the trade was only $6, and in pretty good condition, so I went ahead and picked it up anyway.

Eerie Magazine #97 - This is a special issue which reprints a 3-part time travel story by Bruce Jones and Richard Corben that has always felt, to me, like a precursor to the pair's later Fantagor series Rip In Time (aka one of my all-time favorite Corben books). These stories were reprinted in the "Heavy Metal: The Best Of Richard Corben From Creepy And Eerie" hardcover some years ago, but the quality of the reprint was horrible because the scans they used in the book were from the actual pages of a copy of Eerie magazine, rather than the original artwork. I've been dying to read a decent quality copy of the story ever since I first laid eyes on that bastardized collected edition. The only thing that could make this issue better is if the cover were by Corben himself, rather than Val Mayerick (who obviously wants to be Corben in a big, bad way).

From The Desk Of Warren Ellis TPB - A collection of old articles and things that Warren wrote back in the early 2000's.

Graphic Classics: H.P. Lovecraft TPB - This book contains a comic book adaptation of Herbert West: Re-Animator, 5 pages of which were drawn by Richard Corben.

Green Arrow: Year One TPB - This is from the same creative team who gave us The Losers (Andy Diggle & Jock), which I quite enjoyed.

NECA Alien Action Figure - While it's true that, as a rule, I don't collect action figures any more, there are still certain ones that I need to have (just because). The film-accurate Ghostbuster figures from MattyCollector.com and any Alien-related figures tend to be the exceptions to the rule.

New X-Men: Riot At Xavier's TPB - My favorite arc of Grant Morrison's New X-Men run. I have the original issues, but I wanted a copy to keep on my book shelf for easy access.

Nextwave: Agents Of Hate TPB - This trade reprints the entire 12 issue Nextwave series in one volume. I already have all of the individual issues, but this is a series that I want to have at the ready on my bookshelf at all times.

Northlanders vol. 1 TPB - I read the first issue of this series when it was released, but wasn't terribly interested in the story. Regardless, the praise that other people keep showering upon it has convinced me to give the book a few more issues to prove itself.

Outlaw Nation TPB (Image) - This is a random Vertigo series that I always wanted to read, but which was never collected into trades because it was cancelled with issue 19. Somehow, Image Comics got the rights to the book and published this black and white collection of the entire series, leaving me with the perfect opportunity to finally give it a read.

The Punisher: Welcome Back Frank TPB - I read someone else's copy of this when I was in the Kubert School, but for some reason I never picked up a copy for myself before. It's not Steve Dillon's finest work, nor is it the best Punisher comic you're bound to read, but it's a fun story. I find it interesting that back when these issues originally came out, everyone lost their shit over how great they were. Then, around the time of the Thomas Jane Punisher movie, a backlash seemed to occur toward the book. I still remember it fondly, but I feel like I'm in the minority. Sure, Punisher is probably at his best when there's little to no comedy involved, but what's wrong with a story featuring The Russian every now and then?

The Punisher MAX vol. 1 - 10 & From First To Last TPBs - As with Welcome Back Frank, I borrowed the first 2 or 3 volumes of this series from someone at the Kubert School, but never kept up with it after that for some reason. I found volumes 2 and 4 in a 50% off box at the first booth I hit at the show today, after which it became my goal to find every volume before leaving the con. I did just that, picking up a copy of volume 9 to complete the set just before walking out the door to head home. Not only did I get all 11 books (which would normally cost $175), but I managed to get them all for 50% off, meaning that the entire series only cost me $88. I consider that a win.

Strangers In Paradise vol. 2 Pocket Book - I've only read the first volume of Terry Moore's epic-length self-published series, which is something that I hope to rectify someday soon. I now own the first 2 volumes (of 6).

For anyone interested, here's a link to my acquisitions from last year's show.

My Latest Obssession: TeeFury

2010-05-20T16:30:00.003-04:00

A month or three ago I discovered a website called TeeFury.com, where a new limited edition t-shirt is made available every day for the low price of $9 (with $2 s/h). All of the designs are by artists from around the internet who get to keep the rights to their artwork after their shirt has finished it's 24 hour run on the site. Since discovering TeeFury, it has become one of my new daily go-to sites and I have ordered 7 of their shirts to date.

(click images to enlarge)
I first found my way to TeeFury's site after seeing this design (available at TeeFury.com on May 10, 2010) posted on an Alien-centric blog:

Unfortunately, I was a few weeks too late to order that shirt, but as fate would have it, the day that I first visited TeeFury.com (May 30, 2010) was the same day that this LOST-inspired shirt was available:

I ordered one on the spot and haven't turned back since. I also began taking photos of myself wearing the shirts with my shitty cell phone camera and posting them on Twitpic. The following are the next 2 shirts that I ordered from TeeFury on April 16th and April 23rd, respectively:

On April 20th, TeeFury had a Grab Bag sale which allowed buyers to order between 1 and 3 of their recent shirts (those originally released between February 16 and April 19, 2010) for $5 each instead of of the usual $9. The catch being that you wouldn't know which shirts you would be receiving until they showed up at your house. I couldn't pass up that deal, and ended up with the following 3 shirts for a mere $17:

I almost bought the first of the 3 shirts listed above when it was initially available (April 18, 2010), so it was a pleasant surprise to find it among my randomly selected trio. The second shirt made it's debut before I'd discovered TeeFury (February 28, 2010), but I like the design. The third (available on April 4, 2010) is my least favorite of the 3, but it's already gotten me a few compliments, so I'm not complaining. In fact, it's worth noting that every single one of my TeeFury shirts has gotten complimented, or at least been pointed out or recognized, by complete strangers when I've worn them in public. It just goes to show how great the designs by TeeFury's stable of artists are that they incite so many reactions when people see them.

EDIT (July 9, 2010):

Since the original posting of this blog, I've accumulated a few more TeeFury shirts chich I'd like to share. The first two of the three shirts below were no-brainers for me to purchase, being based upon LOST/Back To The Future (available on May 18, 2010) and AVATAR (available on May 20, 2010). The third, while featuring a design based upon the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man (available on May 25, 2010), is rather similar to the previous Ghostbusters shirt that I got from the site. I had told myself that I wasn't going to buy one, but as the day drew to a close and my opportunity to own the shirt was about to disappear forever, I felt compelled to just go ahead and order one. Why the hell not? They only cost $9, right?

Then, on June 15, 2010, TeeFury held another Grab Bag Sale, which I once again jumped at the opportunity to be a part of. I ordered three more random shirts for $5 each and ended up with El Boba (originally available on May 19, 2010) and Zombie Ninja Pirate (originally available on May 21, 2010). The third shirt I received with the June Grab Bag was one that I knew I'd never really wear, so I traded it to one of my co-workers for a copy of the card game Monopoly Deal. I've already gotten more use out of the game than I would have gotten from the shirt, so everybody wins.

You can visit TeeFury.com and/or follow TeeFury on Facebook or Twitter.

What I Watched In 2009: A Year In Review(s)

2010-02-28T00:30:00.002-05:00

Another year has drawn to a close and another wave of "Best Of" lists has hit the web. Everyone with a blog has an opinion and everyone with an opinion wants theirs to be heard, and why should I be any different? I spend a lot of time and money each year watching movies and going to the theater, and somehow I suppose that posting an annual list like this one gives me closure and makes it all feel worth it. It probably isn't, but here's my Best and Worst movies of 2009 lists anyway. As per usual we'll begin some stats and then move onto the lists:

Total number of movies released in 2009 that I have seen as of the writing of this post: 94

Total number of movies released in 2009 which I saw in the theater: 42

Total number of times I went to the theater between January 1, 2009 and December 31, 2009: 41

Approximate amount of money I spent at the theater in 2009 (based on a price of $10/ticket): $410.00

THE BEST OF 2009

10. The Brothers Bloom
After seeing Rian Johnson's first film Brick, which I loved, he had already set himself up to be one of my favorite new directors. The true test of his talent was to be whether or not he could produce an equally entertaining, ingenuitive, and thought provoking follow up, which he did with The Brothers Bloom. This film features excellent performances from the entire cast (including Adrien Brody, Mark Ruffalo, and Rachel Weisz), an outstanding, memorable score, and a great new take on the conman movie with unexpected twists and turns aplenty. Honestly, I think it's Johnson's writing that I've really clung to moreso than his directing, but regardless of the reasons, I've thoroughly enjoyed both of his films so far and am greatly looking forward to seeing what he's got in store for me next.

9. Next Day Air
This movie came and went in 2009, and I wouldn't be terribly surprised if you haven't heard of it. The main reason that I was interested in this film is that the trailer reminded me of Guy Ritchie's films Snatch and Lock, Stock, And Two Smoking Barrels, which are two of my all-time favorite movies. The main reason that this film appears in my Top 10 of the year is that it delivered 100% on those expectations. I wanted comedy, betrayal, suspense, witty banter, and gunplay, and I got them all in a perfect mix with exceptional performances by a motley crew of entertaining character actors.

8. UP
What more is there to say about Pixar that hasn't already been said? They have one or two less than stellar films in their catalog, but their track record is still so solid that regardless of what they announce next I am always excited to see it. UP is fun, it's heartbreaking, it's exciting, and it's touching. The cliché is to say "you'll laugh; you'll cry...", but in UP's case, your chances of doing so are greatly increased. Some would say that the film is manipulative. I would say that if you say that you're just embarrassed that UP affected you the way that it did. Accept it, this film is great.

7. Watchmen
If you're a fan of the Watchmen comics, I don't really think there's any way that you can complain about this film. When you really take into account how terribly an adaptation of this story could have turned out I think it's clear that Zack Snyder did a damn good job. I'm not saying that it's perfect or that you have to love the film, but as a casual fan of the source material I was vastly impressed with Snyder and co.'s ability to present a faithful representation of the Watchmen that didn't seem laughable in motion. The updated costumes looked good, the action may not have been necessary, but didn't detract much from the overall proceedings, and the altered climax is arguably better than that of the comic. Oh yeah, and it's a blast to watch. I'd call that a success.

6. Inglourious Basterds
I'll be the first to admit that I didn't unconditionally love this film after one viewing. Honestly, I still don't love it unconditionally, but I think the fact that I've watched the movie 4 times over the past 6 months and have liked it more and more each time goes a long way in explaining why it's one of my Top 10 movies of 2009. There are scenes in this movie that bring a smile to my face just thinking about them. There are performances in this film that remain jaw-dropping with each repeat viewing. Quentin Tarantino's writing and visual style are that of legend. How could this not be Top 10 material? Hell, the way things are going, if you ask me a few years from now what my #1 movie of 2009 is, it may just turn out to be this one.

5. Drag Me To Hell
Like Next Day Air, Drag Me To Hell is another example of a film that promised a particular experience with it's trailers and then delivered on that promise 100%. As much as I love Sam Raimi's Spiderman trilogy I was excited to see him take another stab at the genre he began his career with, and Drag Me To Hell jumps off the screen like a love letter excitedly delivered to that genre by a filmmaker bursting at the seams to tell his audience how much he adores it. Drag Me To Hell doesn't scrimp on the blood and slime, but it's refreshing to see a movie that scares you without falling back on torture and graphic dismemberment for a change. The only thing better than the scares in this movie are the laughs, and the only thing better than those are the times when you scream and laugh at the same time.

4. District 9
I think it's safe to say that District 9 was the surprise victory of the year. The average moviegoer knew nothing about this film before it came out. Even relatively hardcore movie nerds such as myself only really knew that the guy directing this had at one time been attached to a Halo movie. After seeing the film I stand by my estimation that whoever put their foot down and took Neill Blomkamp off of Halo is probably kicking himself (or herself) now. What an incredible movie this guy made. And all on what would be considered by today's blockbuster standards, a shoestring budget. Everything about this movie is impressive. The visuals, the story, the characters, the acting, you name it. It's hard to see an amazing sci-fi action movie like District 9 from a first time director and not think of the likes of James Cameron. Hey, now that I think of it, is anyone talking to Blomkamp about directing an Alien movie? If not, they should be.

3. (500) Days Of Summer
As I mentioned in my Brothers Bloom review above, the film Brick turned me onto director Rian Johnson in a big way, but more importantly it turned me onto the acting styles of Joseph Gordon-Levitt. After his performances in that film and The Lookout I was pretty much prepared to follow him anywhere that his career takes him, but after seeing 500 Days Of Summer you'd be hard pressed to convince me that Gordon-Levitt is capable of any wrongdoing. I already loved the guy, but his performance in this movie is simply perfect. I'm not sure if I want to be friends with Tom Hansen or if I actually want to be him. Certainly if it meant being able to get close to Zooey Deschanel's Summer Finn I'd be hard pressed not to choose the latter. This film isn't really a love story, but it's easily one of the best stories about love that I've ever seen on film. It'll rip your heart out one moment and inject it with adrenaline and perfume the next. It is a true roller coaster ride of emotions to which few experiences outside of real life interaction can hope to compare.

2. Star Trek
If District 9 was the surprise victory of 2009, Star Trek is the come from behind victory. Surely no other successful film this year had as many preconceptions and prejudices to get past as Star Trek, which belongs to a franchise engrossed in over four decades of corn-ball nerd culture that a lot of geeks can't even get behind. Who would have ever thought that Star Trek could be "cool"? I'd hesitate to say anyone other than J.J. Abrams. This movie has exciting action, delicious melodrama, interesting science fiction, and likable, relatable characters, which some fans would probably say that the franchise has always had. Even those people have to admit, though, that for the first time all of those things were presented to the public in a way that wouldn't scare the average moviegoer away. Star Trek became a blockbuster for the first time. I'm not absolutely sure whether this potential has always been hiding just below the surface or J.J. actually created something brand new out of the bones of a commercially unsuccessful property, but I could care less because however it came into being, Star Trek is an amazing action/adventure film.

1. AVATAR
I've said it before and I'll say it again: I've been waiting for a new James Cameron film since Titanic. I didn't love that film, but when you consider that Cameron is responsible for not only my favorite movie of all time (Aliens), but also True Lies, The Abyss, and the first two Terminator films, how could I not be excited for whatever he was planning next? Especially if it's in the realm of sci-fi? Now, normally when you have really high expectations for something like this it's hard not to be disappointed by the final product, but I made a point not to listen to too much of the internet chatter surrounding the film or even get my hopes up too high. So I went into AVATAR with an open mind and a huge anticipatory grin and came out on the other side with a memory that I'm not likely to soon forget: the first time I saw AVATAR. Heady science fiction, badass high-flying action, robotic suits of armor, alien creatures, space travel, Cameron-style military personalities, armored personnel carriers, machine gun fire, Sigourney Weaver...this movie was tailor made for me and it fit perfectly.

Runners-Up (in alphabetical order)

Brothers

The Hurt Locker

Observe & Report

Paranormal Activity

The Time Traveler's Wife

THE WORST OF 2009

10. Friday The 13th
Part of the problem with these never-ending slasher franchises is a lack of originality. It doesn't matter that this is a reboot. It's still not interesting to see the same predictable story about the same predictable characters being hunted down by the same predictable killer yet again. Why remake the movie if you're not going to make any significant changes?

9. Jennifer's Body
I think that Diablo Cody had good intentions when writing this movie. She wanted to make a throwback to the sex-charged teen horror movies of the 80's. Unfortunately, I fear that this is simply a genre that cannot be translated into the hip modern indie culture. While I'm not opposed to seeing emo guys wearing eyeliner have their intestines ripped out, something is lost in the transition from asshole jocks and stoners to brooding sentimental losers with dyed black hair covering their eyes. The only thing they did with Jennifer's Body to successfully capture the spirit of 80's horror was to cast a really hot chick who can't act.

8. Screamers: The Hunting
I'll never understand how sequels to unsuccessful sub-par horror/sci-fi movies keep getting made 10 years or more after their predecessors failed to make any money or leave a lasting impression on just about anyone. With that said, I am a fan of the original Screamers, but I knew full well that there was no need for a sequel because if one ever did get made it would turn out to be a big piece of shit...just like this movie.

7. Couples Retreat
Honestly? I just felt insulted by this movie. I felt like it was calling me stupid for watching it. Jason Bateman, Jon Favreau, and Vince Vaughn were in a movie together and I never laughed once. It's the popular thing to say when bashing this movie (which it very rightfully deserves), but it really did just feel like Favreau and Vaughn wrote a movie set in a tropical paradise just so that they'd have an excuse to spend a few months there relaxing in between (and seemingly during) takes. I don't know what genre this movie belongs under, but it's certainly not a comedy.

6. The Uninvited
Twist endings. Sometimes they catch you off guard because they're clever and meaningful and you come away from them feeling happy that you were tricked. Sometimes, as is the case with The Uninvited, a twist ending comes along that is so cheap and out of left field that you walk away feeling cheated and angry. This was building up to be an okay, if forgettable thriller when suddenly the writer and director decided to pull the rug right out from under the viewer and completely negate any semblance of quality that they'd been working to achieve thus far. I'm still mad at this movie.

5. The Unborn
I'll be honest; I barely remember anything about this movie aside from the shitty premise. A girl is haunted by her evil twin brother who died while they were still in the womb. I honestly only watched this movie because there was a pretty cool looking monster in the trailer. This just proves that you shouldn't see a film based solely on 1.5 seconds of footage in the previews.

4. Halloween II
What a fall from grace. I realize that I'm in the vast minority when it comes to my take on Rob Zombie's first Halloween film. Not only do I prefer it to John Carpenter's original, but it's one of my favorite slasher movies of all time. Then, along comes the sequel with it's dream sequences riddled with glowing white horses and Zombie's wife in long flowing gowns. Yeah, I still don't really get it. The first film felt as though it had purpose. This just had no plot. Michael Myers walks from point A to point B killing people along the way while Malcolm McDowell works on his book deal. Ugh.

3. Gamer
The best way I can describe this movie is to say that it felt like it was based on the fever dream of some fifteen year old kid with A.D.D. who's really into techno remixes of metal songs and spends all of his time not spent masturbating to 2 Girls 1 Cup taking acid from his older brother's stash while he plays Call Of Duty and falls asleep nightly in his gaming chair with the Running Man dvd on repeat in his XBox and a mixture of Taco Bell fire sauce and Mountain Dew Code Red smeared all over his face. I'd rather stare into a strobe light for two hours than watch this piece of shit again.

2. The Final Destination
Mindless garbage made only to take advantage of the current 3D trend. In other words, it's worthless.

1. The Blackout
Whoever wrote this piece of crap is obviously a fan of monster movies, because every single cliché of the genre can be found in this film at least two or three times. What people need to learn is that you don't make a good monster movie by simply copying what has been done before. There is a difference between homage and being unoriginal. I simply find it hard to believe that upon completion of this film, anyone who worked on it felt any sense of pride about what they'd accomplished. The acting sucks, which is not to say that the material the actors were working with was very strong. The story has been done before dozens, if not hundreds of times. The creature designs were lazy and uninventive, which is the worst crime one can commit when making a monster movie. The only remotely original or interesting part of the film is the ending, but just as you get there the credits roll. My only hope is that one day I'll forget that this movie ever existed.

Runners-Up (in alphabetical order)

Crank 2: High Voltage

A Perfect Getaway

The Thaw

Transformers: Revenge Of The Fallen

X-Men Origins: Wolverine

MOVIES FROM 2009 WHICH I STILL WANT TO SEE
Astro Boy
The Fourth Kind
Gentlemen Broncos
Invictus
Ninja Assassin

THE UNABRIDGED WHAT I WATCHED IN 2009

- Movies I saw in the theater
- Movies I downloaded or watched on DVD
- Movies that came out Direct To DVD (more or less)
- Movies I saw in IMAX
- Movies I saw in 3D
- Movies I saw in the theater twice
- Movies from 2009 which I didn't see until 2010

(500) Days Of Summer
AVATAR
Brothers
The Brothers Bloom
District 9
Drag Me To Hell
Inglourious Basterds
Next Day Air
Paranormal Activity
Star Trek
The Time Traveller's Wife
Toy Story 3D
Toy Story 2 3D
UP
Watchmen

Armored
The Cartoonist
Cloudy With A Chance Of Meatballs
Cold Souls
Coraline
The Cove
The Fantastic Mr. Fox
Futurama: Into The Wild Green Yonder
The Hurt Locker
Killshot
Knowing
Land Of The Lost
Law Abiding Citizen
Moon
Observe & Report
Orphan
The Road
Sherlock Holmes
State Of Play
Surrogates
Terminator: Salvation
Universal Soldier: Regeneration
Up In The Air
Whatever Works

9
12 Rounds
Bad Lieutenant: Port Of Call New Orleans
Big Fan
Black Dynamite
Boondock Saints II: All Saints Day
Carriers
Extract
Fast & Furious
Funny People
G.I. Joe: Rise Of The Cobra
The Goods
Green Lantern: First Flight
The Hangover
Harry Potter And The Half Blood Prince
The Informant!
The Invention Of Lying
Men Who Stare At Goats
Outlander
Pandorum
Public Enemies
Push
A Serious Man
The Taking Of Pelham 123
Triangle
Whiteout
Wonder Woman
Zombieland

Anti-Christ
The Box
Brüno
Crank 2: High Voltage
Dragonball: Evolution
Echelon Conspiracy
Friday The 13th
Give 'Em Hell Malone
The House Of The Devil
Jennifer's Body
Paul Blart: Mall Cop
A Perfect Getaway
Superman/Batman: Public Enemies
The Thaw
The Tournament
Transformers: Revenge Of The Fallen
Where The Wild Things Are
X-Men Origins: Wolverine
Year One

The Blackout
Couples Retreat
The Final Destination
Gamer
Halloween II
Screamers: The Hunting
The Unborn
The Uninvited

Click Here to read my Top 10 Movies of 2008

Click Here to read my Top 10 Movies of 2007

***All of the information in this post is only accurate through 2/28/10, after which time my opinions may change due to subsequent viewings.

Flowering Nose Day

2010-01-30T04:30:00.002-05:00

Today is the four year anniversary of the death of one of my favorite artists: Seth Fisher.

I met Seth at the 2005 San Diego Comic Con, which is also where I discovered his art for the first time. As I perused the "Fat Naked Rave" booth, Seth was doing karate moves and jumping around like a crazy person behind the tables where other members of the studio were sitting, signing books. I had no idea that he was an artist because in addition to his kung-fu fighting, he was wearing a bandanna around his head, big raver goggles, and a pair of overalls much like a janitor would wear, unzipped to the waist to reveal a comic-related t-shirt.

I walked up to Seth's table, not knowing that it was his (having never seen him or his art before) when he came running over and pounced into his chair, immediately striking up one of the most bizarre convention conversations I'd ever had. Before leaving the booth, he'd convinced me to buy his and J.M. DeMatteis' Green Lantern: Willworld graphic novel, which was well worth the money and is the work that really sent me on my search for more of his art. I also bought a copy of his sketchbook, upon which he did an ink drawing of me.

When a classmate at the Kubert School informed me that he had died, I couldn't believe it. Seth was in his early thirties and based on his demeanor at the show only a few months prior, seemed to be in perfect health. As it turns out, Seth had fallen seven stories from the roof of a club in Osaka, Japan, not far from where he lived with his wife Hisako and their son Toufuu.

The following is from an old article that I found on Newsarama:

"Fisher, a 1994 graduate of Colorado College opted not to use his math degree professionally, and moved into illustration shortly after he graduated. Fisher also moved, literally, to Japan shortly after graduation, where he taught English, refined his art, and eventually married his wife, Hisako, with whom he had a child. Fisher had been currently living in Nagoya, Japan with his family.

Though he moved away from math professionally, it still played a role in his art. In an interview with the College of Colorado Bulletin, Fisher described his view of art as: 'Art is really just problem solving in action. You start with a few lines, then you try to balance those lines with other lines compositionally, then you balance that with trying to explain a certain space or emotion.Perspective, composition, timing, and color theory are technical skills. You have a problem, and you have this toolbox full of techniques that you use to paint a totally unique bridge from an assumption to its implications.'"

Over the last few years I've accumulated just about every comic book that Fisher had drawn, and was excited to discover that his blog is, in fact, still active. Seth's mother Vicki updates http://floweringnose.blogspot.com/ fairly regularly with examples of Seths work and her thoughts on his art and his legacy. The following is a quote from her most recent post, dated January 28, 2010:

"Last year some of Seth's siblings declared January 30 Flowering Nose Day, a day to encourage artists, to take risks in order to do something worth doing, to create something that delights you, to have fun doing whatever you are doing, to do your best at whatever you do, to remember Seth by stretching out your arms and loving what you are doing and who you are with. I am all for it."

So with that in mind, I invite anyone reading this, be it January 30th or any of the other 364 days of the year, to do just that. Be creative and have fun doing so.

Futurama Season 6 Is Upon Us!

2010-01-15T15:00:00.000-05:00

My two favorite TV Shows of all time are Seinfeld and Futurama. Seinfeld ended with pride and dignity with a properly planned and (in my opinion) worthy series finale. Futurama, on the other hand, got the shaft from FOX and was canceled after 5 seasons. Luckily, the success of the four subsequent direct-to-DVD Futurama films was enough to convince Comedy Central to pick up the show and continue on with a sixth season.

Of course, I am giddy with anticipation. Moreso now that I've discovered this video on YouTube, which showcases the voice acting-enhanced storyboard animatics for the first episode of the show's 6th season with an introduction by executive producer David X. Cohen. I'm still not sure when the new episodes will begin airing on TV, but as far as I'm concerned, that day can't come soon enough.

What I Watched In 2008: A Year In Review(s)

2009-12-20T00:21:00.002-05:00

Originally posted at What I've Been Watching on February 15, 2009. Edited only for spelling, not content.

It's that time of year again when all us bloggers tell everyone what we thought about the last 365 days whether you want to hear about it or not. Well...it was that time a little over a month ago anyway, but at long last, here it is: my 2008 end of the year post. Yeah, I know it's early February '09, but that's okay. The lateness of this post just means that I've had a chance to catch up on some of the '08 movies that I hadn't gotten the opportunity to see before the end of the year. I already did a Top 10 Movies of the Year list on The Sidetracked Podcast a few weeks ago, but the one I've compiled here will be a different, updated version of that list since, as I mentioned, I've now seen more movies from 2008 than I had when I formed that incarnation of my Top Ten. So what say we look at some stats and then move onto the lists? I say lists because in addition to my Top 10 and Bottom 10 of the year, I've also listed the movies from 2008 that I still need to catch up with as well as a comprehensive catalog of every 2008 release I've seen as of this writing. And away we go.

Total number of movies released in 2008 that I have seen as of the writing of this post: 82

Total number of movies released in 2008 which I saw in the theater: 33

Total number of times I went to the theater between January 1, 2008 and December 31, 2008: 37

Approximate amount of money I spent at the theater in 2008 (based on a price of $10/ticket): $370.00

THE BEST OF 2008

10. Rambo
In my opinion, this is the best film in the Rambo/First Blood franchise. This movie knew exactly what it wanted to be and didn't try to hide that fact. It was bloody and violent as hell with plenty of "holy shit" moments, and didn't include a single scene that wasn't necessary to further the plot. It's also short and to the point, which action movies shouldn't (but often seem to) be afraid to be. Stallone proves that he's got what it takes to work behind the camera, and he's still physically and emotionally capable in front of the lens as well. Rambo is an example of clear and concise film making, and although it's very brooding and grotesque, I feel like I could pop it in and watch it anytime because it zips by at 92 minutes and never loses my interest for an instant.

9. Pride & Glory
Based on the trailers, I was expecting this to be the standard Hollywood cop film. Not so. The best word I can think of to describe this movie is "epic". And I don't mean the modern "Epic Fail/Epic Win" internet variety of epic, either. I mean it in the textbook sense: "noting or pertaining to a long poetic composition, usually centered upon a hero, in which a series of great achievements or events is narrated in elevated style". Edward Norton is the best he's been since Fight Club, Colin Farrell puts in one of the only truly impressive performances of his career as far as I'm concerned (another being this year's In Bruges), Jon Voight is better than he has been in years, and director Gavin O'Connor has gotten me wondering where he's been all my life. This film is brutally intense with a great mystery and several expertly woven plotlines. I can't wait to see it again, but a week and a half later I'm still reeling from my first viewing.

8. Slumdog Millionaire
I went into this film without a clear idea of what I was going to see, basically just swept up by the positive hype it was getting. The reason for this is likely that while amazing, Slumdog Millionaire's plot is nearly impossible to explain to someone without either ruining the suspense or making absolutely no sense whatsoever. Suffice to say that Danny Boyle has made a movie unlike any other I've seen and I'd love to see more films like it. Easily one of the most heartwarming movies I've ever laid eyes on, Slumdog Millionaire knows how to play to the viewer's emotions in all the right ways, leaving you completely satisfied and in awe upon exiting the theater or turning off your DVD player. Not to mention, it has some of the best child actors I've ever had the pleasure of watching.

7. Cloverfield
When it comes to unsubstantiated hype, Cloverfield takes the cake. This movie was being hailed as a must-see based on rumors alone, and against all odds it managed to deliver on that hype in a big way. Some would call Cloverfield a giant monster film in the vein of Godzilla, but I'd call it a dramatic adventure which takes place in the vicinity of a giant monster. The creature in Cloverfield is far from the main focus, though it does drive the majority of the plot due to it's mere existence. As such, the task of entertaining the audiences who came into film expecting a series of high-flying monster battles falls upon the shoulders of a few young no-name actors and the sheer quality of the script with which they were working. Both succeed in spades and make for a film that, much to my surprise, stands up 100% to repeat viewings. Don't fret though, if you're looking for a badass creature feature, there are certainly worse places to look.

6. Iron Man
Iron Man has always been one of the most obvious choices for a big name superhero worth bringing to the big screen in my opinion, based purely on the fact that his story is more centered around technological sci-fi than it is absurdist sci-fi/fantasy. Apparently Jon Favreau agreed with me completely, and made a high-tech action film that, surprisingly, was very sparse when it came to the action. With so little combat onscreen, Marvel opted for Iron Man to live or die based on it's characters, and really all you need to know is a name: Robert Downey Jr. As Tony Stark, Downey Jr. created an actor/character marriage that I would have never thought of in a million years, and which almost sells the movie on it's own. This is not to say, however, that there is nothing visually worthy in Iron Man, though. Far from it. The effects are incredible whether Stark is battling other characters in giant armored suits or just fiddling around in his basement workshop. While there have certainly been better movies based on comic books, Iron Man is probably the best superhero movie since the Spiderman series.

5. Eagle Eye
How do movies like National Treasure and National Treasure 2: Book of Secrets earn 350 and 470 million dollars respectively and Eagle Eye can hardly break 175? While I despise the former and love the latter, I am willing to admit that they're somewhat similar movies. Both are entirely preposterous in premise, but what National Treasure lacks in noteworthy performances and originality, Eagle Eye delivers en masse. I am totally willing to admit that Eagle Eye's plot and premise are ridiculous, but they do make for one hell of a fun action jaunt. Shia LaBeouf proves once more why I find him to be such a likable, charismatic character actor, Michelle Monaghan gives the most noteworthy performance of her career thus far in my opinion, and Billy Bob Thornton shows once more that he knows how to ham it up in service of the film rather than his ego. D.J. Caruso and Shia LaBeouf, the duo behind 2007's equally fun and mindless romp Disturbia, have done it again.

4. Jumper
Don't believe what you've heard about Jumper. Unless, that is, you've heard that it's a good film, though I seriously doubt you've heard that. Superhero movies are all well and good, but as a comic book reader it was really exciting to see one coming out based on characters I wasn't familiar with. Based on a novel rather than a comic, Jumper took me completely by surprise with it's amazingly original take on a concept as passe among the spandex-clad crowd as teleportation. Hayden Christiansen impressed me here for the first time since Shattered Glass and Samuel L. Jackson once again proves why he's so great at playing characters you love to hate. I won't claim that Jumper is the second coming of the science fiction film, but there are some very cool sci-fi concepts at work here which are expertly countered by the properly executed, fast-paced, shaky camera work of the man who originally perfected that style of action in The Bourne Identity: Doug Liman. I simply can't help but have a smile on my face just about the entire time I'm watching this film, and for that reason it was one of my favorite movies of 2008.

3. Wall-E
Right from the beginning I've loved Pixar. I saw Toy Story in the theater and with just about every subsequent release of one of their films I've wrestled with myself as to whether it were actually better than each of their previous titles or not. Wall-E is no exception. I'm so in awe of this film that I don't know where to begin talking it up because everything about it is great. I guess it's most obvious just to say that the film is beautiful. No one can dispute that. Even if you somehow don't like Pixar's films, you cannot deny that each and every one of their movies raises the bar as far as the eye candy is concerned. In regards to the story, the main thing that Pixar constantly provides which accounts for a lot of why I enjoy their films so much is that the stories, for what are usually considered children's movies, are smart, well thought out, and not dumbed down in any way just to be suitable for kids. They've repeatedly found the perfect balance between what will entertain and delight a child and what will captivate and speak to adults. This is perhaps true moreso of Wall-E than any of Pixar's other films to date, because by the end of this film I was so wrapped up in the plight of the little robot at the center of the plot that I came close to tears. There are plenty of other aspects of Wall-E that I could go into in describing why this movie made it onto, and in fact ranks so high on, this list, but honestly It was probably enough to simply say that it was made by Pixar.

2. The Dark Knight
Well what is there to say about The Dark Knight that hasn't already been said, really? It's a great movie. As a non-Batman fan, this film is just about as good as it can get. While I admit that the movie isn't perfect, it is a spectacle to behold. Much like Pride & Glory, which I reviewed farther down this list, The Dark Knight is best described as an epic. Bruce Wayne's world is flipped upside down during the course of this film and we, the audience, are helpless but to sit, glued to our seats, as some of the best writing, directing, and acting yet to come out of a superhero movie plays out before our widened eyes. Everything else about this film takes a back seat to Heath Ledger's performance, though. Believe the hype. Ledger is mystifying to watch. I think that the perfect combination of wardrobe and make-up, ingenuity, great writing, and mystery all added up to what was probably the best performance of the year. I say mystery because, like myself, I think that a lot of people just didn't know what to expect from The Joker. Not only because Christopher Nolan and company created their own unique vision of the character, but because whether or not you liked Heath Ledger before seeing The Dark Knight, or even knew who he was for that matter, I doubt that there's a person on the planet who could have predicted what he was going to (and indeed capable of) bring(ing) to the table. There are plenty of aspects of The Dark Knight which I'm skipping over here, Aaron Eckhart's performance being one of the more notable ones, but if I were pressed to suggest one reason to go watch The Dark Knight, based on this review I think you know what that one thing would be. And it's almost single-handedly the reason that the film lies so high on this list.

1. The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
The best movie of the year. Sometimes this decision is as easy as leaving the theater happy (i.e. my choice of Grind House last year). Sometimes however, it takes a bit more thought than that. I did love The Curious Case of Benjamin Button immediately, but while it is visually amazing, expertly directed, beautifully written, and full of inspired acting, it is still somehow the most reserved film on this list. It's one of only three (what I would call) straight dramas on my Top 10, and of those three it is decidedly less in your face than the others. I think that's why this decision took so much thought. Could such a stoic, sentimental film really be more epic than the The Dark Knight? Could it really be more heart-warming than Wall-E? Could it honestly leave me more delighted than I was exiting my screening of Jumper? Yes, yes, and yes. It would be pretty bold to call this film flawless, but it's certainly closer to deserving that distinction than any of the other films I saw this year, which is why it made #1 on this list. David Fincher still hasn't made a bad film in opinion, which is a bit surprising considering that he took an astonishing leap away from his comfort zone of the highly stylized thriller with Benjamin Button. I'm no longer sure that I can truly define what a "David Fincher movie" is, and that's very exciting. I have no idea what he'll do next or what his take on his next subject will be, but one thing's for sure: The Curious Case of Benjamin Button set the bar high for not only Fincher's upcoming projects, but every theatrical release of the foreseeable future as well.

Runners-Up (in alphabetical order)

The Bank Job

Gran Torino

In Bruges

Taken

The Wrestler

THE WORST OF 2008

10. Hancock
Good premise, poor execution. Somebody over-thought this plot a little bit. The first half of the movie isn't gold, but it's fun. The second half, seemingly written by a different (and incompetent) writer altogether, is way too bogged down by poor plot development, a weak, over-complicated concept, and an ill-informed decision on someone's behalf that the film needed some extra, unnecessary action.

9. Step Brothers
Will Ferrell can only shout in that oafish "I think I know what I'm talking about, but I'm really a bewildered idiot" voice so many times before I become tired of it. When you add John C. Reilly simply aping that very same character back at him, you've essentially got an imbecile blurting non sequiturs at himself in the mirror. Maybe I'd have liked this movie a few years ago before I'd seen the same type of film from Ferrell so many times, but I was bored and annoyed by it more than anything.

8. The Love Guru
Take a movie that was original and funny a decade ago, change it slightly because you have no new ideas, and pray to God that it still works. Fail.

7. Starship Troopers 3: Marauder
Completely changing the plot and tone of the franchise for the first sequel didn't work like it did for Aliens, so why not just try to clone the original movie for this one? Oh, wait...horrible acting, writing, and special effects? This film's tagline should have been "No budget? No problem!"

6. Joyride 2: Dead Ahead
Most horror movie franchises begin with a somewhat original, suspenseful, and entertaining first film and quickly devolve into a repetitive, faceless, blood-soaked mess. Often this occurs as as early as the second installment of the series. Why should Joyride be any different?

5. Punisher: War Zone
Over the top violence and gore needs to be either accompanied by a good, meaningful story or completely devoid of any noteworthy plot to bog it down. Punisher: War Zone fits snugly into the large gray area between those two extremes. It's story is far from perfect, but tries it's best to be something it's not. Also, a parkour runner is disintegrated by a rocket during mid-rooftop-to-rooftop jump. Need I say more?

4. The Eye
The Ring had Naomi Watts. Even The Grudge had Sarah Michelle Gellar. The Eye has Jessica Alba. Who should we get to play our blind, emotional lead? Probably the most beautiful, yet worst actress we can get our hands on. Even if someone of Naomi Watts' caliber had been in this though, it still would have been boring as shit.

3. Righteous Kill
Neither Robert DeNiro nor Al Pacino have been very good in the past ten years or so in my opinion. However, I'm willing to bet that if this movie were made in the 70's or early eighties when both of those guys were in their prime and it had been directed by Martin Scorcese, this script still wouldn't come close to being able to inspire a passable film. What a terrible, terrible waste of talent and money.

2. Max Payne
For a movie based on a video game, the point of which is entirely centered around shooting every single character you see onscreen, Max Payne somehow managed to have less action than Air Bud. It should be illegal to make movies this bad.

1. Feast 2: Sloppy Seconds
This film is the definition of the term "fall from grace". Along with The Mist, Cloverfield, The Host, and Slither, I would include the original Feast among the very short list of the best monster movies made since the turn of the millennium. Admittedly, that's a pretty high bar for a horror sequel to live up to, but if I were to type out everything that was wrong with this movie here I would probably break the internet. Suffice to say that if you respect me, yourself, or the art of film at all, you will quietly look away whenever this film catches your eye and pray nightly to whichever god you believe in to strike down everyone involved with the production of Feast 2: Sloppy Seconds in the most painful and disgraceful way imaginable.

Runners-Up (in alphabetical order)

Baby Mama

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

Midnight Meat Train

Pathology

The Strangers

MOVIES FROM 2008 WHICH I STILL WANT TO SEE
Titles marked with a "*" are those which I have managed to catch up with since the original post.
4 Months, 3 Weeks, 2 Days
Frost/Nixon*
JCVD*
Let The Right One In*
Milk*
Quarantine*
REC*
Sukiyaki Western Django*
Visioneers*
W.*

THE UNABRIDGED WHAT I WATCHED IN 2008

- Movies I saw in the theater
- Movies I downloaded or watched on DVD
- Movies that came out Direct To DVD (more or less)
- Movies I saw in IMAX
- Movies I saw in the theater twice
- Movies from 2008 which I didn't see until 2009

The Bank Job
Cloverfield
The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
The Dark Knight
Eagle Eye
Gran Torino
In Bruges
Iron Man
Jumper
Lakeview Terrace
Pride & Glory
Rambo
Slumdog Millionaire
Taken
Wall-E
The Wrestler

Bangkok Dangerous
Be Kind, Rewind
Burn After Reading
Chocolate
CJ7
The Day The Earth Stood Still
The Forbidden Kingdom
Futurama: The Beast With A Billion Backs
Futurama: Bender's Game
Get Smart
The Incredible Hulk
Kung-Fu Panda
Mirrors
The Promotion
Quantum Of Solace
RocknRolla
The Ruins
Speed Racer
Stuck
Teeth
Tropic Thunder
Zack & Miri Make A Porno

21
10,000 B.C.
Batman: Gotham Knight
Blindness
Choke
Drillbit Taylor
Forgetting Sarah Marshall
Ghost Town
Hellboy II: The Golden Army
How To Lose Friends And Alienate People
Pineapple Express
Role Models
Run, Fat Boy, Run
Semi-Pro
The Signal
Splinter
Street Kings
Valkyrie
Vantage Point
Wanted
You Don't Mess With The Zohan

Baby Mama
Babylon A.D.
Dead Space: Downfall
Death Race
Doomsday
Hancock
The Happening
Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull
Man On Wire
Midnight Meat Train
Pathology
Step Brothers
The Strangers
Untraceable
X-Files: I Want To Believe

The Eye
Feast II: Sloppy Seconds
Joyride 2: Dead Ahead
The Love Guru
Max Payne
Punisher: War Zone
Righteous Kill
Starship Troopers 3: Marauder

Click Here to read my Top 10 Movies of 2007.

***All of the information in this post is only accurate through February 15, 2009, after which time my opinions may change due to subsequent viewings.

What I Watched In 2007: A Year In Review(s)

2009-12-20T00:20:00.001-05:00

Originally posted at What I've Been Watching on December 29, 2007. Edited only for spelling, not content.

Of the hundreds of movies released in 2007, I saw a total of 25 films in the theater (one of which I saw twice). In addition to those, I rented 14 more 2007 movies, downloaded 7 others from the internet, and bought one new direct to DVD release this year. Overall that means that in 2007 I saw 47 of the year's numerous and varied films. While I have yet to see every movie I wanted to this year, and have come nowhere close to seeing them all, it is customary among both film critics and the blog-o-sphere in general to compile a list of the best and worst movies of the year. So that's exactly what I've done.

Without further ado, I give you the official What I've Been Watching's Best & Worst Films of 2007:

THE BEST OF 2007

10. Futurama: Bender's Big Score
This was not a theatrical release, which would probably count it out of the running for most peoples' "Best Of" list, but when you get right down to it, Bender's Big Score was simply better than most of the movies that actually played in theaters this year. I've been a fan of Futurama from it's days on syndicated television and ever since the show was cancelled after it's fourth year I have pined for more. Bender's Big Score not only brings back all of the characters that I loved from the show, but it continues Futurama's history of combining, beautiful visuals, hilarious laughs, and interesting concepts. It's like the show never went away.

9. 3:10 To Yuma
The western genre largely died out in the seventies, giving way to an insurgence of science fiction and action movies in the wake of films like Star Wars and Dirty Harry. With as little interest in cowboys as there seems to be in today's high tech world, when a western comes along these days that is as well-made, well-acted, and exciting as 3:10 To Yuma, the world tends to take notice. If you've heard a lot of people talking about how great 3:10 To Yuma is, there's a reason for it: because it's true.

8. Zodiac
David Fincher has been my favorite director for several years now, and there's a reason for that. Every time he directs a movie it is both thought-provoking, beautiful, and enthralling to watch. Even after a five year wait, Zodiac is no exception to this rule. Some movie-goers point their fingers readily at Zodiac's running time when asked why they didn't like the film, but my feeling is that if a story needs more than two hours to be told, who's to stop a movie from telling it properly? After all, it's not about how long a movie is, it's about the quality, and I'd be hard-pressed to name a Fincher film that didn't serve up plenty of it.

7. The Host
Simultaneously a heart wrenching drama, a bellow inducing comedy, and a fear inducing horror film, The Host quite literally has something for everyone. There are so many things to praise this film for that I hardly know where to begin. The design of the movie's monster is amazing, and while the special effects aren't always perfect, the intricacies of it's character will win you over immediately. The story is told magnificently, the visual style is nothing short of amazing, and the way it juggles so many different genres while remaining a solid piece of filmmaking are proof positive that The Host belongs on anyone's list of the best movies of 2007.

6. Ratatouille
Even the most generic and dull titles in Pixar's library of computer animated movies are still some of the best examples of the CG corner of the film industry, so when the story matches the incredible quality of the studio's patented amazing visuals, the recipe is one of success. Perhaps the best of all of Pixar's movies, and most definitely the best looking, Ratatouille is yet another triumph for not only the animation company, but writer/director Brad Bird. Full of laughs, drama, and suspense, Ratatouille is quite literally fun for the whole family.

5. Spiderman 3
Verbally pummeled by the masses and proclaimed an embarrassment to the franchise by millions of former fans, Spiderman 3 has been the subject of more debates in 2007 than perhaps any other single film. While I would agree that Spiderman 3 is a weaker film than both of the previous installments of the series, that by no means should suggest that it is a bad film. With just as much (if not more) action and laughs as Spiderman and Spiderman 2, the third episode of the current Spiderman trilogy is not a perfect film, but despite the few holes in it's plot it manages to far surpass the majority of the other films released this year...at least in my eyes.

4. Superbad
The reason that I loved Superbad so much has nothing to do with Judd Apatow or any of his previous successes and everything to do with it's story and it's stars. The script captures perfectly what a large percentage of high school males are like, right down to the filthy, degrading language that so many viewers were apparently turned off by. Translating the script into onscreen gold are two of the film industry's most promising up-and-coming comedic talents and a cavalcade of hilarious supporting characters. All of the specifics aside though, the reason that Superbad is among my favorite films of 2007 is that it made me laugh harder and more frequently than any movie has in a long, long time.

3. The Mist
Put simply, The Mist is a textbook example of what a horror and/or monster movie should be. Too many films in these genres these days rely on shock value, violence, and gore to get their audiences' attention, when they should be taking a page out of Stephen King's book (literally). Balancing the gore with suspense and the horror with drama, The Mist creates an atmosphere so unforgiving that one can easily forget that they're watching a movie. As a huge fan of monster movies, the sheer joy that I got out of watching the events of The Mist unfold cemented it's place in my list of the best films of 2007.

2. No Country For Old Men
The moment I heard that the writing and directing team behind Fargo and Blood Simple were producing a new crime drama, No Country For Old Men had already taken a few steps toward my best of 2007 list. Not only is this film excellently paced, superbly acted, masterfully directed, and flat-out gorgeous; it's also smart. There is something so rewarding about watching an intelligent film, especially in the crime genre, and No Country For Old Men delivers on this claim in spades. Movies like No Country For Old Men are what the feature film medium was invented for.

1. Grind House
I would have been sold after hearing Quentin Tarantino's name. Add all of the other names attached to this project and it's kind of hard to ignore it. I'm sure that I'll get flak from people for naming this the best film of 2007, considering that in reality it is actually two movies instead of one, but to those people I say, "I paid for one movie when I went to the theater to see Grind House." I've been asked numerous times by numerous people whether I preferred Death Proof or Planet Terror, but I say this as honestly and straight forward as I can: I liked them both equally. They are very different from one another and each have their own strengths and weaknesses, but all taken into account, they're just two halves of one incredible whole called Grind House and that's the way I will always think of this movie. For this reason, Grind House was my favorite film released in 2007.

Runners-Up (in alphabetical order)

Disturbia

Hot Fuzz

I Am Legend

Rescue Dawn

Sweeney Todd

THE WORST OF 2007

10. Mr. Brooks
What I had hoped would be a thought-provoking look at the modern day serial killer instead turned into a stereotypical, overdone, flashy piece of crap. Demi Moore stunk up the screen and neither Dane Cook, Kevin Costner, nor William Hurt could do anything to save Mr. Brooks, nor did they particularly seem to want to.

9. The Number 23
Had this film not followed the "How To Pull Off A Twist Ending The Fight Club Way" handbook like every other suspense thriller these days seems to, The Number 23 could have been a great, intriguing film. Jim Carrey is great up until the ending, as is everything else about The Number 23, including the story. Unfortunately somewhere along the way a crucial decision involving the plot was apparently left in the hands of a moron with no ideas of his/her own.

8. Next
Strike one: Nicolas Cage is the star of this film. Strike two: Lee Tamahori directed it. Strike three: someone tried to adapt Philip K. Dick's short story The Golden Man into an action movie. There really isn't a single part of Next that could come close to redeeming it other than Jessica Biel's ass. It's kind of hard to focus on it when Nic Cage is in the room mumbling his way through a script as bad as this one, though.

7. Blades of Glory
Take two genuinely funny actors, get them together in a room with silly outfits on, and then bend over and literally shit the most generic script possible out of your ass for them to act out. What really makes a film worth watching is when it tries to achieve something new and interesting. With that in mind it's really no surprise that Blades of Glory was so terrible.

6. Vacancy
As is the case with literally every single one of the titles in my list of the worst films of 2007, Vacancy suffers most from the fact that it is nothing more than a cheap attempt at capitalizing on something similar that was popular once. There are at least twenty or thirty films about people being chased by murderers that are better than this one.

5. The Hills Have Eyes II
Who should we get to play the hardcore military personnel in our action/horror movie? The most unrealistically beautiful people we can find regardless of their ability to deliver an even remotely believable line of dialogue? Great idea! There's just nothing new here. I'm running out of things to say about these piece of shit movies. They're all the same, and THAT's the problem!

4. The Reaping
If you want to know why this movie is so bad, just watch it and count the stereotypes. If I knew you could make money selling unoriginal scripts like this to movie studios, I would just write one movie about a demonic child and print out fifty different copies with the characters' names changed on each one and make millions.

3. Pathfinder
Unlike several of the movies in my worst films of 2007 list, Pathfinder actually looked like it could have been a good film. Native Americans versus vikings in the dark ages? That could be good. Considering the quality of films like Braveheart and Apocalypto, there's no reason why I shouldn't have suspected prior to it's release that Pathfinder could have been a good movie. Of course, I didn't know who Karl Urban was at the time.

2. Ghost Rider
Nicolas Cage turns into a skeleton, catches on fire, and rides a motorcycle up the sides of skyscrapers brandishing a chain and a leather jacket to battle demons. Need I say more? Well, if you insist: it's directed by the guy responsible for Daredevil.

1. Shoot 'Em Up
I went into the screening of Shoot 'Em Up that I saw with really high expectations, and really, why shouldn't I have? We're talking about a movie starring Clive Owen as a guy who shoots tons of bad guys while protecting an infant from the evil Paul Giamatti. Really the only thing this movie needed to please me were good special effects and a passable story. Could the filmmakers be bothered to provide me with either of those things? Not a chance. The action looks terrible and the story is complete bullshit. I'd rather watch a movie with no plot than sit through that of Shoot 'Em Up again. With such a simple set of parameters to provide me, the consumer, with an enjoyable movie-going experience, the extraordinary cinematic failure of Shoot 'Em Up is simply insulting. Worst movie I saw in 2007, hands down.

Runners-Up (in alphabetical order)

Shooter

The Simpsons Movie

Smokin' Aces

TMNT

Transformers

So there you have it. Everyone's list is bound to be different, so I'd love to hear how some other people would rank the movies they saw in 2007. Feel free to leave me a comment on this post to list off a few of your own personal best or worst films of the year or just to discuss some of my choices. Before you go berating me for leaving something crucial off of my lineup though, check out the following list which includes all of the films released in 2007 that I saw this year, but which didn't make it into either of my top tens.

Other 2007 Films that weren't the Best or Worst:

28 Weeks Later
30 Days of Night
300
1408
Bee Movie
Black Sheep
Breach
Bug
The Condemned
Death Sentence
Fracture
Good Luck Chuck
Jackass 2.5
Knocked Up
Live Free or Die Hard
The Lookout
Sicko

***All of the information in this post is only accurate through December 29, 2007, after which time my opinions may change due to subsequent viewings.

R.I.P. Dan O'Bannon (1946 - 2009)

2009-12-18T13:10:00.001-05:00

Dan O'Bannon died yesterday (December 17, 2009) at the age of 63. A lot of people probably don't recognize that name, so for the sake of clarity, this is Dan O'Bannon:

If it wasn't for him, we wouldn't have this:

Or this:

Or these:

Dan O'Bannon didn't design any of those visuals, but he did write the scripts for the movies for which they were created. Most importantly, he created the Alien. To bring that vision to life he collaborated with co-writer Ronald Shussett, sculptor H.R. Giger, director Ridley Scott, and producers David Giler, Walter Hill, and Gordon Carroll, but at the end of the day none of those great minds would have come together if it weren't for O'Bannon sitting down and attempting to write a science fiction horror script originally titled "Star Beast".

This is going to sound really nerdy, but if you know me well enough it'll probably make complete sense. While I may not talk about Dan O'Bannon all the time or have photos of him plastered on my walls, if you think about it, he's probably been one of the most important figures in my life because Alien has been such a major part of my life. I'm not just talking about the fact that I love to watch the movies, though I do love to do that. Alien and Aliens have been a big source of inspiration for me. Because of those movies I began reading comic books in the mid 90's. Because I began reading Aliens comics I decided that I wanted to draw comic books, which in turn is why I went to the Joe Kubert School of Cartoon and Graphic Art after I graduated high school.

Aliens is my favorite movie of all time. And it isn't just my favorite movie in the way that my father would say Dances With Wolves is his favorite movie. My dad doesn't have Kevin Costner figurines adorning every flat surface of his bedroom. He doesn't have books about indian tribes and t-shirts with wolves all over them. I surround myself with Aliens. I have toys, posters, books, magazines, comic books, and all other manner of assorted memorabilia based on those movies scattered about my living space. I wouldn't use the word "obsession", though it probably applies. I am just so caught up in the world of Aliens that it's not just "my favorite movie". It's more like "my favorite thing".

And it all comes back to Dan O'Bannon. I think I watch the Alien documentary on the Quadrilogy more often than I watch Alien itself, partially because of this guy’s interviews. When he starts to break down toward the end when he’s talking about how his little "B" horror movie did the near-impossible and became a massive success, that’s some pretty powerful stuff. He may come across a little crass and very opinionated, but he's the guy you root for. The little guy.

Despite the success of Alien and some other noteworthy film projects along the way including Total Recall, Blue Thunder, and Return Of The Living Dead (which O'Bannon also directed), it seems that Dan remained the "little guy" for the duration of his career. I think that's why more people don't know his name, because he seemed to always be the outspoken guy in the background with the really good ideas who rarely got any of the credit. In summary, I guess that's what this post is about: giving Dan O'Bannon the credit that he so rightfully deserves.

R.I.P. Dan.

Kane Hodder Is Fucking Dead (2002-2009)

2009-12-07T06:10:00.001-05:00

The title of this post comes from the MySpace page of one of my favorite bands of the last few years, not the obituary of the actor known for playing Jason Vorhees in the Friday The 13th movies. Though as you probably could have guessed, and as you can see from the poster advertising their two final shows, those movies were the inspiration behind the band's name:

(click images to enlarge)

I'm not very useful in a discussion about music and can rarely describe why I like a song, album, or artist in any more detail than to simply say "I like the way that sounds", so I won't bother going into the specific merits of Kane Hodder's music other than to say that I REALLY like the way they sound(ed).

I first discovered Kane Hodder when they were signed to Fueled By Ramen in 2005 and bought their CD "The Pleasure To Remain So Heartless" on the day that it was re-released on that label (having previously come out a year prior on Suburban Home/Cowboy Versus Sailor). The funny thing is that at the time I didn't know that the album had seen a previous release, so I ended up buying the original version with different album art (which I actually prefer) instead of the FBR release that came out that day.

Back then I was a big fan of Fueled By Ramen and their artists, and while I still appreciate most of the music I was into then, I've since lost most of my interest in bands like Fall Out Boy, Panic! At The Disco, The Academy Is..., and Gym Class Heroes. Whether it was my own personal taste in music that changed or the bands themselves (which seems to generally be the case), most of them don't excite me the way they used to. However through it all, "The Pleasure To Remain So Heartless" has remained one of my most listened to albums of the past 5 years and is easily one of my favorites of all time.

Honestly, Kane Hodder doesn't have as much music out there as any of the other bands that I mentioned, but over the course of 8 years, 2 EPs, and 1 LP, their sound hasn't changed very drastically at all. Some would surely say that's not something to praise, but considering that so many new bands that I discover disappoint me by leaving behind the sound that I initially loved them for in subsequent releases, it is an attribute of Kane Hodder that I cherish.

Not long after I became a fan, Kane Hodder began recording a sporadically updated podcast which I began listening to regularly. Through not only hearing the members of the band bullshit about what music and movies they were into, but also by writing in to the show and having them reply to a number of my questions and comments "on the air", I feel like I got to know and appreciate vocalist Andrew Moore and the other guys more than I have any other band over the years.

The final episode of the podcast (episode 31) was released on iTunes on September 10th, 2008, and since then the podcast's blog and the band's website have both disappeared from the web. When I started noticing these disappearances and cancellations around the internet I began to worry, but finding out any information about a little known band with the same name as a famous actor is nearly impossible, even on search engines like Google. My fears were finally made tangible a little over a week ago when I visited Kane Hodder's MySpace page and saw the headline which I appropriated for this post's title.

It sucks that the band is breaking up, but perhaps moreso that I never got to see them perform live. I don't think they ever toured far from their homes in Washington state (see: the opposite side of the country from me), even during their brief time on a fairly major label. I suppose I'll always have their existing albums to listen to though, and if I haven't gotten tired of them yet despite how frequently I play them, I doubt that I will any time soon.

One thing's for sure though: I'll be keeping a watchful eye on Andrew's MySpace page in hopes of hearing about any new projects that he may work on in the future.

In the event that I've piqued anyone's interest in Kane Hodder with this post, HERE is the link to a .ZIP file that I've prepared with a few noteworthy tracks from over the years which you can download for free, along with my musings on the chosen songs.

You can also visit Kane Hodder's YouTube Channel, where you can see live performance footage, clips of the band members just messing around, and the official videos for "I Think Patrick Swayze Is Sexy" and "Siberia 1908".

If you like what you hear (or see), you can purchase "A Frank Exploration Of Voyeurism And Violence" and "The Pleasure To Remain So Heartless" on Amazon.com or download the band's latest EP, "Through The Bloody Channels We Raise Our Sails", directly from iTunes.

R.I.P Kane Hodder

My Top 5 Man-Crushes

2009-12-05T00:25:00.004-05:00

originally posted at What I've Been Watching on 2/25/09

"Man Crush: When a guy loves another guy dearly, but not queerly."

Every guy has them. I don't care how manly you think you are, there are either actors or characters they've portrayed who you've fallen head over heels for...in a completely hetero way. Dudes who are just too cool. You want to be their friend onscreen or offscreen or both. There are a ton of actors I like and preformances I've been impressed by, but these are the guys I wish I were elite enough to hang out with.

#5.) Kurt Russell

Where We First Met: Stargate

The Moment I Realized It Was True Love: As R.J. MacReady in John Carpenter's The Thing, Kurt devises a plan to test which of his fellow residents of an Antarctic research outpost are infected by alien DNA by placing a piece of heated copper wire into a sample of blood from each man. With his friends and co-workers tied to a couch, R.J. announces that as an act of good faith he will test his own blood first. Having heated the copper wire, and with the frightened, judging eyes of the other men glued firmly to him, R.J. hesitantly and worriedly pauses for a split second before testing his own fate.

Fondest Memories: John Carpenter's The Thing, Big Trouble In Little China, Death Proof, Breakdown

#4.) Shia Labeouf

Where We First Met: The Battle of Shaker Heights

The Moment I Realized It Was True Love: As Kale Brecht in Disturbia, Shia becomes jealous when Ashley, the girl he's got a major crush on, holds a loud party next door which he can't attend because he's under house arrest a few mere feet away. Kale tries to ignore the music and laughter from next door but eventually cracks under the pressure and peeks outside to see other guys obviously hitting on Ashley. Making a fool of himself by playing obnoxiously loud romantic music to drown out the noise of the party, Kale is confronted by an annoyed Ashley before giving an incredibly cheesy monologue about how he's been watching her through his windows since she moved in, which ranges from creepy to romantic, after which the music (Don't Make Me Wait by This World Fair) swells and the two characters finally kiss.

Fondest Memories: Disturbia, Eagle Eye, A Guide To Recognizing Your Saints

#3.) Joseph Gordon-Levitt

Where We First Met: 3rd Rock From The Sun

The Moment I Realized It Was True Love: As Brendan Frye in Brick, a crime noir about high school students, Joseph is trying to solve the mystery behind the recent murder of his ex-girlfriend whom he still very much loves. After sticking his nose a few places where it didn't belong, Brendan is confronted outside of his school by an adversary much larger than him. Choosing flight over fight, Brendan manages to get a brief lead on his attacker before rounding a corner, dropping to the floor, and removing his shoes so that his assailant won't hear him coming. Immediately he is back on his feet and rushing back toward the corner he'd just turned before using expert timing to slide out from behind said corner and trip his pursuer, who, for reasons you'll have to see the movie for yourself to discover, surely ends up wishing that he hadn't picked this particular fight.

Fondest Memories: Brick, The Lookout, (500) Days Of Summer

#2.) Clint Eastwood

Where We First Met: In The Line Of Fire

The Moment I Realized It Was True Love: As the man with no name in The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly, Clint and a sometimes lovable, sometimes despicable outlaw named Tuco (who refers to him as Blondie) have somehow survived numerous run-ins with gunslingers, a full-on Civil War battle, and each other long enough to reach a cemetery where $200,000 worth of gold is rumored to be buried. With the only thing left for the men to do to claim the riches for their own being the act of digging up a specific grave, Blondie tosses Tuco a shovel. After Tuco asks why Blondie doesn't have a shovel of his own, he replies "You see, in this world there's two kinds of people, my friend: Those with loaded guns and those who dig." Pause for dramatic effect... "You dig."

Fondest Memories: A Fistful of Dollars, For A Few Dollars More, The Good, The Bad, And The Ugly, The Outlaw Josey Wales, Unforgiven, Dirty Harry, Gran Torino

#1.) Jackie Chan

Where We First Met: Rumble In The Bronx

The Moment I Realized It Was True Love: As Kevin (aka Jackie) Chan in Police Story, Jackie has pursued a powerful drug lord named Chu Tao, who has a grudge against him, to a shopping mall. After having a lengthy knock-down, drag-out fight with several worthy opponents up and down escalators, through store displays, and amongst a veritable sea of broken glass, Jackie is tired and weakened by his injuries. Just when things seem as though they couldn't get any worse, he looks down from a fourth story balcony to see that on the ground level below him, Chu Tao has taken Jackie's girlfriend May hostage. Enraged beyond caring for his own personal well-being, Jackie leaps off of the balcony, sliding down a four story metal pole covered with decorative lights which shatter one after another as he rapidly approaches the floor below. At the bottom, Jackie quickly chases down Chu Tao, who lets May go out of fear. Despite the pleas of Chu Tao's lawyer and his own police chief, Jackie cannot restrain himself any longer and, in one of the most visceral scenes I've ever seen in a movie, gives Chu Tao the truly epic beating that he deserves.

Fondest Memories: Police Story, Police Story 2, Supercop, Rumble In The Bronx, Drunken Master, Legend of Drunken Master, Dragon Lord, The Young Master, Project A, Project A2, Armour of God (aka Operation Condor 2), Armour of God II (aka Operation Condor), Jackie Chan's First Strike

Honorable Mention: James Van Der Beek
as Sean Bateman in The Rules Of Attraction

"Rock and roll..."

7 Batman Comics That I Love

2009-11-20T03:17:00.033-05:00

I don't really care for Batman. Never have. He's just not my cup of tea.

Because of that fact, it takes a lot for me to like a Batman comic. Honestly I haven't read a whole lot of them. Not nearly as many, I'd presume, as most avid comic readers anyway. You can't read as many comic books as I have, however, without making your way through a few issues dealing with the Dark Knight. So with that in mind here is a list, in no particular order, of seven Batman comics that I, as someone who is not a big fan of Batman, can still wholeheartedly recommend to Bat-fans and haters alike.

(click the images to enlarge)

Batman Year One
(originally published as Batman #404-407)
This is probably the most obvious choice on my list. I think that a lot of people respect Batman Year One, but as classic Bat-stories go I feel that it's way overshadowed by The Dark Knight Returns. This story is simple and innocent without being too overly dark or brooding, which is why it's my preferred Frank Miller Batman title. At the same time however, it's not some light-hearted superhero-ey romp. It's got a very serious tone, and is perhaps the most "realistic" take on Batman that I've ever read. Batman himself comes off very human in this story, which I like because he is, in fact, a human. It's a stupid fanboy-ish thing to do, but when major Bat-enthusiasts start claiming that just because he's smart Batman can beat any single character he's pitted against, I get annoyed. The reason for this being that when some degree of logic is applied to the debate, it's easy to see that there's no way Bats could really take on someone like Superman, no matter how many glowing green pebbles he possesses. Therein lies the charm of Batman Year One. Bats has trouble shaking a squad of mortal SWAT guys, which is a situation that I can actually buy his cunning wit and resourcefulness getting him out of.

Batman: Broken Nose
(originally published in Batman: Gotham Knights #3)
I came really close to putting Batman Year 100 on the list instead of this story. It's easy to imagine why, considering that Batman Year 100 is probably about 160 pages and Broken Nose is only 8, but while I've only read Year 100 once (though I do have fond memories of it), I've read Broken Nose at least a dozen times since I first acquired it in my copy of Batman Black & White Volume 2 about 6 years ago. This was back before I really knew who Paul Pope was, and before my artistic preferences had broadened enough to allow him access into my mind as an artist whose work will forever pique my interest. Still, something about this 8 page story grabbed my attention immediately upon reading it for the first time: Batman's costume. To this day Paul Pope's "warm-up suit" design for Bats, consisting of a sweat-suit, wrestling boots, and a realistic-looking leather cowl is my favorite Bat-costume design yet to make an appearance on the printed page. Lee Bermejo's design is a close second, but doesn't top this one.

Batman: The Scottish Connection
Some people love Frank Quitely's art and some people hate it. I belong to the former group rather than the latter. After I discovered Quitely's work on The Authority and New X-Men I embarked upon a quest which spanned from eBay to Midtown Comics in NYC in order to find every one of his works which I could get my hands on. It was at the aforementioned comic store right down the street from Times Square that I first wrapped my fingers around this piece of funny-book gold. I love the art of course, but the story matches Quitely's nuanced art on a rather comedic level that makes me grin just thinking about it. Bruce Wayne wears a kilt! I'm sure that most would consider Scottish Connection a throw-away Bat-tale, but it's one of my favorites because it's a quick, light-hearted read with several great action beats accompanied by Quitely's equally impressive art, rife with his trademark attention to spacial relations, layout, and detail, and a truly interesting main villain.

Batman/Aliens
This could very well be the first Batman comic I ever read. It's fairly well known to those with whom I'm acquainted that I began my comic book reading career with Dark Horse Comics' Aliens and Predator books, those which crossed over with Batman and Superman being no exception. With that in mind, the selection of this particular title for inclusion on this list isn't entirely based upon nostalgia (though that's surely a part of the equation). In addition to possibly introducing me to the 22 page adventures of Bruce Wayne's caped alter ego, Batman/Aliens also introduced me to the art of horror comic legend Berni Wrightson. Of course at the time I didn't know that Wrightson was a big deal in the world of comic books, I just knew that he drew an awesome alien and that was enough for me. Aliens aside, this series introduces the reader to a likable, interesting cast of characters in no time flat and then instantly begins killing them off, giving Batman all the motivation he needs to do what he does best. Since he's not being pitted against an enemy whose actions and reasoning he can understand however, Bats is not only forced to be extra inventive with his means of dealing with his foes, but he's also depicted as a realistic human who fears for his own life, which is something that I don't think we see enough of in the average issue of Batman.

Batman: Snow
(originally published as Batman: Legends Of The Dark Knight #192-196)
As with 90% of the Batman comics I've read, I initially picked this one up for the artwork. Seth Fisher (who unfortunately died a few years ago just as he was making a name for himself in the industry with this series and Fantastic Four/Iron Man: Big In Japan for Marvel) brings a level of detail and technical knowledge to Snow that can only be described as some sort of amalgamation of the artistic stylings of Frank Quitely, Geoff Darrow, and Frank Lloyd Wright. Story-wise, Snow purports to re-tell the origin story of Batman's enemy Mr. Freeze, focusing more on his plights and those of a cast of well developed supporting characters rather than Batman himself. Considering that, as stated above, I'm not really an admirer of the character of Batman, it's no surprise that I'm much more interested to spend time with the fascinating characters surrounding the caped crusader than to read yet another series of deep and depressing musings of the Dark Knight's inner monologue. Combine Fisher's beautiful artwork with the story of a rag-tag gang of amateur detectives enrolled by Batman in his personal war on crime, and toss in a gun that shoots ice beams, and you've got a Batman comic that this non-fan can actually enjoy.

Batman Chronicles: The Gauntlet
This book is honestly more about Robin than Batman, but Bats plays an integral part, so I'll let it slide. The basic premise here is that, having trained Robin to the best of his abilities, Batman has one final test to judge whether his ward is ready to join the fight for justice in Gotham full-time. Batman has Alfred drop Robin off at an undisclosed location in the city and gives him a bit of a head start, and if he can evade Bats for the entire night and make it until dawn without being tracked down by his master, he'll have proven himself worthy of the title of "Robin". Of course things don't go as planned, and while Robin technically fails his test, he nabs some bad guys in the process, making for an acceptably happy ending. Yet again, I first gave this book a second glance for it's wonderful artwork (in this case by Lee Weeks), but what really drew me in was the quaint coming of age story of Robin on his first real crime-fighting mission. There are no superpowers to be found in this prestige format one-shot as Robin goes toe to toe with some trigger happy mobsters, which is always a welcome deviation from the "mortal versus super-freak" genre that Batman books usually find themselves filed under.

Batman Annual #14
Like The Gauntlet, Batman Annual #14 isn't technically about Batman, but rather one of his supporting characters. In this case the story focuses on Two-Face and takes a stab at re-telling his origin. What I like about stories like Batman: Snow and this one is that while I know the origins behind most of Batman's foes, an involved re-telling of their first brushes with crime can often lend more character to these tired archetypes. In this over-sized issue we see Harvey Dent go on a quest for revenge upon those responsible for ruining his life (and his complexion) rather than just going stark raving mad and deciding to become an eccentric crime boss. The story is very personal, takes place on a small scale, and provides Batman with an opportunity to flex his much-lauded detective skills, rather than just be the tireless, musclebound savior of Gotham City. Of course another reason that I like this particular issue, and the initial inspiration behind my tracking it down and picking it up, is the artwork by Chris Sprouse circa 1990.

Much of the research for this post was done at The Comic Book Database.

40 Years of James Bond: A Big F***ing Review

2009-11-07T19:46:00.004-05:00

The following text remains unchanged from when I originally posted it on my MySpace blog on September 15th, 2006.

Over the past month I've spent my nights doing something particularly time-consuming. While the rest of the world slept, masturbated to internet pornography, and played endless hours of Guitar Hero, I occupied my time watching every single James Bond movie in chronological order for 21 near-consecutive nights. These are my findings:

SPOILER WARNING!!!

Title: Dr. No
Year of Release: 1962
Bond: Sean Connery
My Synopsis/Critique: Dr. No, a maniacal Asian scientist with incredibly strong, but rather clumsy metal hands (the result of a failed experiment), plans to use radiation to botch an American space launch. Going into this movie, I’d only seen the more recent 007 films (i.e. the Dalton and Brosnan flicks). Thus, I found a few things odd about Dr. No (the movie, not the character). First, Q is nowhere to be found. Q, of course, being the scientist that gives Bond all of his neat gadgets. Along with Q, any and all gadgets are missing from this first film. Bond himself is a bit different in Dr. No, as is his relationship with M. Before Bond goes off on his mission, M has to take away his Beretta and force him to take a Walther PP7 instead. All the following films exclude Bond’s unwillingness to use the standard MI6 weapon. As opposed to later films where M trusts Bond completely, in this movie he regards him more like a child. Quarrel is a good character, and it’s sad when he dies at the hands of a ridiculous flame-throwing tank that’s painted to look like a dragon. This film includes the first mention of Spectre, which is an organization comprised of evil geniuses lead by Number 1 (who is the basis for the character of Doctor Evil in the Austin Powers series right down to the bald head, the scar across the eye, and the constant stroking of a white cat). Aside from a few small snags, Dr. No does a good job of setting the bar high for perhaps the biggest film franchise in history.

Title: From Russia With Love
Year of Release: 1963
Bond: Sean Connery
My Synopsis/Critique: James Bond heads to Russia to get his hands on a stolen Lektor coding machine. As it turns out, Spectre just wants to get revenge on 007 for killing Dr. No in the previous film. Enter: Donovan ‘Red’ Grant, who is a large blonde Russian who has been trained to hunt and kill James Bond. For being a bit of a slow movie, From Russia With Love is one of my favorites. This movie is the first time we see Number 1, and also the first appearance of Q and his gadgets. Speaking of which, the weapons and tools Bond is fitted with by MI6 in this movie are my favorite of the series. They’re practical, ingenuitive, and best of all, believable. No rings that emit sonic bursts to shatter glass here. We’ve got a sniper rifle that can be dismantled to about the size of a shoe, a suitcase with a tear gas bomb that goes off if it’s tampered with and a hideaway knife, etc. The best part of the movie is definitely the fight scene with Grant in a room on the Orient Express. Bond’s survival skills are really put to the test in one of the best close quarter combat scenes I’ve ever seen on film.

Title: Goldfinger
Year of Release: 1964
Bond: Sean Connery
My Synopsis/Critique: Gold-obsessed smuggler Auric Goldfinger plans to detonate a nuclear bomb inside Fort Knox so that, rather than stealing the gold within, it will become radioactive and thus untouchable for 57 years time, during which the worth of his personal stash of gold will greatly multiply in value. Great plot. I’ll give Goldfinger that much. My problems with this movie begin and end with Bond himself. Simply put, he is in captivity by the enemy in this movie more than he’s not. 007 gets captured early on in the movie, then escapes and is captured again, then escapes and is captured again, and on and on. Also, if it were left up to Bond, Goldfinger would have gotten away with his scheme. His attempts to warn his colleagues of Goldfinger’s evil plot are constantly thwarted, and it’s only thanks to Pussy Galore, henchwoman working for Goldfinger, that the army even knows where and when to intervene. Then on top of all that, the nuke would have gone off right in 007’s face if an American scientist hadn’t arrived on site just in time to diffuse the bomb. All Bond really did in Goldfinger was beat the title character in a game of golf by cheating, and trick Oddjob into electrocuting himself. After seeing the Hank Scorpio episode of The Simpsons where they parody the “laser slowly moving towards the genitals” scene in this movie, I was led to believe that Bond would somehow miraculously escape from said situation, but even that didn’t happen. He just talked his way out of it. One final thing that bugged me about this movie is that there’s no mention of Spectre whatsoever. Many of the later movies have nothing to do with the evil organization, but that’s because by then it’s been put out of commission, but at this point they were still running rampant. Just not in this movie.

Title: Thunderball
Year of Release: 1965
Bond: Sean Connery
My Synopsis/Critique: Spectre hijacks a Vulcan Bomber equipped with two atomic bombs and holds NATO to ransom for the sum of $100,000,000. MI6 combats this evil plot by sending all 9 of its double “o” agents out to find and recover the explosives. The ante is definitely upped in Thunderball. This marks the first time we see any of the other double o’s. The pre-opening credit sequence scene involves James Bond flying around with a jet pack. Despite the fact that we’re talking about a movie with secret agents and evil organizations who want to rule the world, the jet pack seemed really far-fetched. Then we’re treated to a little scene in a health spa during which 007 is almost taken out by a guy who turns the level up too high while he’s on “the rack” (a device used to stretch the spine). You’d better believe Bond gets back at him, though. He locks the guy in his steamer and turns it all the way up. I didn’t realize secret agents were prone to childish pranks. Anyways, Thunderball is the first of many Bond films to pit 007 against sharks. The climactic underwater battle between good scuba divers and evil scuba divers was pretty good. Underwater battle is always slow-moving, but the sheer number of people being harpooned and having their oxygen lines cut made for an entertaining scene.

Title: You Only Live Twice
Year of Release: 1967
Bond: Sean Connery
My Synopsis/Critique: James Bond turns Japanese. Yup, I said it. 007 trains at a ninja school, marries a Japanese woman, and wears prosthetic eyelids that make him look squinty-eyed. Why does he do this? Ernst Stavro Blofeld (Number 1) has masterminded a plan to steal an American spaceship and then a Russian spaceship in an attempt to convince these two countries that each other is responsible for their missing shuttles with hopes of causing World War III. The secret base from which he runs this little operation is housed inside a volcano in Japan. Hence the racial switch. This film features Q’s first trip to deliver gadgets to 007, himself. What he delivers is a miniature helicopter called “Little Nellie’. In my opinion, one of the dumber gadgets to come out of Q Branch. The end of this movie is an all out war inside the volcano base. The Japanese army and the Japanese Secret Service Ninja Force versus hordes of jumpsuit-clad henchman. This is obviously the most copied/parodied film of the series. Overall it wasn’t bad. What was bad were the outer space scenes wherein one space shuttle would open up and engulf another before zipping off to deliver the stolen capsule to Blofeld. Try as they may have, those scenes were waaaaaay too fake looking to be taken seriously. Prior to filming, Sean Connery decided that he wanted to do more with his career than drink vodka martinis and have sex with beautiful women, so he informed the producers that this would be his last Bond film. This would account for why You Only Live Twice feels like an “ending” to the franchise.

Title: On Her Majesty’s Secret Service
Year of Release: 1969
Bond: George Lazenby
My Synopsis/Critique: Why did everyone hate George Lazenby as James Bond? Sure, he was an Australian model who’d never acted before, but I don’t see why people think he did such a bad job. Yet, somehow On Her Majesty’s Secret Service had the worst US box office gross of all the Bond movies, and everyone blames it on Lazenby. Blofeld is back, and this time he’s trying infest mankind with a virus that will be spread by a menagerie of beautiful women who he’s hypnotized into becoming his unknowing slaves. Bond pretends to be a genealogist to get closer to Blofeld, who has an odd obsession with being recognized as an important member of his family tree. Awesome car and ski chases ensue as Bond teams up with a girl named Tracy, whose father has it in his head that 007 should marry her because he saved her from committing suicide. Of all the action sequences, though, my favorite comes in the form of a battle on bobsleds during the film’s climax. It’s impossible that this fight scene could ever really take place, but watching Bond battle his archenemy on two speeding bobsleds was incredible. Even more incredible is the fact that Blofeld survives crashing into, and thus being suspended by his neck from, a v-shaped tree branch hanging above the bobsled course while going full speed down the incline. Overall I liked On Her Majesty’s Secret Service, but I’m quite opposed to the ending. James Bond gets married (for real this time, not because he has to for the mission like in You Only Live Twice) to Tracy who, as they leave the wedding in their car, is assassinated by Blofeld. The movie ends with Bond cradling her dead body in the car as it sits on the side of the road. Apparently in the original take of this scene Lazenby actually cries, but the director replaced it with a shot of Bond just looking sad because he didn’t think it was characteristic of him to weep like a baby. I don’t really think it matters much, because the ending sucks anyway.

Title: Diamonds Are Forever
Year of Release: 1971
Bond: Sean Connery
My Synopsis/Critique: Money talks. After Lazenby’s “failure” to uphold the mantle of James Bond set by Connery, the original 007 was coaxed into playing the role once more by being offered a large sum of money by producers who were panicking that their cash cow of a film series was losing steam. What they ended up with (in my opinion) is a movie much worse than the one they were trying to recover from. Ernst Blofeld returns once more after having undergone plastic surgery to hide from a vengeful James Bond. His plan? To smuggle a bunch of diamonds in order to build with them a satellite that will use the combined power of their prisms to channel sunlight in the form of an incredibly powerful laser beam with which to blast world powers into oblivion. In my opinion, the plot of this movie was very weak, as was the main Bond girl, who bumbles around messing things up the whole time. Blofeld is finally killed at the end of Diamonds Are Forever, ending his tyranny of being played by three different actors in as many consecutive movies. For me, the highlight of this movie came in the form of a car chase between 007 and the Las Vegas Police Department. The scene in question (much like the rest of the movie) was overly cute and funny, but there were some really cool car maneuvers such as Bond driving through an alleyway much too narrow for his car by getting it up on two wheels (on the same side of the car).

Title: Live And Let Die
Year of Release: 1973
Bond: Roger Moore
My Synopsis/Critique: Mr. Big (the series’ first, and to this point only, black villain) plans to become to sole supplier of heroin in all of America by getting all of Harlem to kill anyone who tries to stop him. I didn’t like this movie for several reasons. One reason is that it felt more like a blaxpoloitation film than a spy movie. It really felt like the black community at large was evil in Live And Let Die, which really put me off. For the majority of the movie James Bond was essentially the only white guy around, and everyone else was trying to kill him. Another reason I wasn’t a big of this film was that Mr. Big felt like an unworthy adversary for Bond. He relied on his “loyal” psychic and her tarot cards to ensure him that things were going as planned at all times. When she is seduced by 007 and is no longer reliable in her predictions, he turns into a wuss. Perhaps worst of all was the final confrontation between Big and Bond. Q Branch has equipped James with bullets that release compressed air when fired so that when he jams one in Mr. Big’s mouth and punches him it inflates his body, sending him soaring up to the ceiling where he pops like a balloon. Oh, and lets not forget the comic relief in Live And Let Die, supplied by an over-the-top bayou sheriff who is foiled in all of his attempts to apprehend 007, not knowing that he’s a secret agent.

Title: Man With The Golden Gun
Year of Release: 1974
Bond: Roger Moore
My Synopsis/Critique: Francisco Scaramanga is a hitman who never misses. In fact, he’s so sure that he’ll never waste a round that his trademark are golden bullets which he can afford because he charges one million dollars a hit. A small price to pay for a guaranteed kill. However, bored with his “day job”, Scaramanga coaxes James Bond into a deadly game of cat and mouse by convincing him that someone has put a hit out on him just so he’ll have some decent competition for once. With no real international crisis to deal with, Man With The Golden Gun doesn’t quite stand up to many of the other 007 films. Okay, at the end we discover that Scaramanga has a giant laser on his island, but there’s never much threat of attack from it. Amping up the intensity of the final gun fight, Scaramanga employs the aid of his midget manservant, Nick Nack (as played by Herve Villechaiz of Fantasy Island fame), in operating the funhouse-style maze in the basement of his house where he and Bond are forced to stalk each other. Of course, Bond is the victor. It’s a good thing Scaramanga had a dead on, life size replica of 007 in his funhouse that he could practice on for the real deal to take the place of, getting the drop on his enemy. Oh yes, and how could I forget? The annoying bayou cop from the previous film returns. He just so happens to be vacationing in Hong Kong when Bond steals the car he’s test driving for a car chase.

Title: The Spy Who Loved Me
Year of Release: 1977
Bond: Roger Moore
My Synopsis/Critique: Remember the plot of You Only Live Twice? You know, the one where someone steals spaceships from America and Russia in an attempt to turn them against one another? Well, replace “spaceships” with “nuclear submarines” and you’ve got the plot of The Spy Who Loved Me. However, this time, instead of just hating peace, the villain wants to force everyone to join him in living in the underwater paradise he’s building where it’s safe from the third world war that he aims to create on the surface. While ridiculous, this movie does have some redeeming points. The foremost of which is the introduction of Jaws, the man with metal teeth and jaw muscles strong enough to bite through metal. Something I didn’t like about the movie, however, is the buddy cop feeling it gets from teaming Bond up with a sassy female Russian operative. It just doesn’t feel right for 007 to be working side by side with another agent. Regardless, this film pulls off some great fight scenes including the battle between Bond and Jaws in the ruins of an Egyptian temple and the all out war in the main villain’s barge at the movie’s climax.

Title: Moonraker
Year of Release: 1979
Bond: Roger Moore
My Synopsis/Critique: Millionaire Hugo Drax plans to murder the entire human race. All except for his hand-picked specimens that will be the parents of a new race of perfect humans, that is. Filling fifty satellites with a plant venom that is only deadly to humans, Drax expects to watch safely from his self-funded, undetectable space station as every last person on Earth kicks the bucket before reclaiming the world for himself and his small group of beauties. How does he expect to get away with this? Well, he’s hired Jaws for one. Speaking of the giant of a man from the previous film, Jaws is not done proper justice in Moonraker. He’s turned into a farce, and a mockery of himself. Falling in love with a nerdy girl from Venice, Jaws develops a heart and eventually decides to help Bond stop Drax’s evil plans and die with honor (and his new love) aboard the self-destructing space station. The question I have is, if this movie was released a year after the original Star Wars, how could the outer space and laser pistol effects be so bad? There is nothing realistic about either, but at least we know that James Bond is good at first person shooters as the end of the film has him blasting poisonous satellites out of the sky with a joystick while rocketing through Earth’s atmosphere.

Title: For Your Eyes Only
Year of Release: 1981
Bond: Roger Moore
My Synopsis/Critique: A British spy ship equipped with a hi-tech encryption device called an ATAC is sunk off the coast of a Warsaw Pact county and the race begins between the British and the Russians to recover it. There’s no megalomaniac to be found in For Your Eyes Only. Just some criminals trying to get their hands on the ATAC. Of course there must be some action, so the criminals in question either like to chase secret agents on skis and snowmobiles, in cars on windy mountain roads, across skating rinks dressed as hockey players, or up and down treacherous cliff faces in Greece. There’s little feeling of threat in this film, and it relies on its nutty action scenes to keep the viewer interested. The main female love interest is annoying at best as she continually either gets in 007’s way or refuses to listen to him when he tells her not to go around shooting people in the back with crossbows. I personally feel that Roger Moore is much better at the debonair side of the James Bond role than he is at the action side, and unfortunately for him, this movie has much more of the latter than the former.

Title: Octopussy
Year of Release: 1983
Bond: Roger Moore
My Synopsis/Critique: It all begins with a dead clown holding a Ferberge Egg. But we’ll get back to that in a moment. A psychopathic Soviet general named Orlov is concerned that America is a threat to the Russian military, but is unable to get anyone to agree with him. So, what does he do? He devises a plan to load a nuclear warhead into the cannon used to shoot a performer out of at the circus that will soon be held at an American air force base in order to detonate it and cripple U.S. defenses. It’s a good thing he is affiliated with Kamal Khan, though, otherwise James Bond would never have been able to track them down by following the trail of the Faberge-obsessed Khan’s fake egg after he switches it with the real one at an auction. Khan eventually gets the drop on Bond, but luckily he’s in cahoots with a beautiful woman called Octopussy for 007 to seduce and turn to his side. What this all leads to is a scene in which James Bond must dress up as a clown to infiltrate the circus at the air base in an attempt to stop the bomb from detonating, which he does just in time. So the day is saved, but we still get to enjoy a scene in which Octopussy’s circus-trained beauties have to use their carny skills to invade Khan’s palace with the help of Bond and Q, who arrive in a hot air balloon. Sounds logical to me.

Title: Never Say Never Again
Year of Release: 1983
Bond: Sean Connery
My Synopsis/Critique: Never Say Never Again is an enigma to me. Come along as I explain to you the oddest James Bond film ever made. First off, it came out the same year as Octopussy. Second, it stars Sean Connery as Bond twelve years after he stated for the second time that he wouldn’t be coming back to play the character. Third, MI6 has changed considerably. Anyone who reads comic books is no doubt familiar with the term “Elseworlds”. Elseworlds are stories about characters we all know and love that take place out of context of their normal everyday goings on. For example, Batman is a playboy millionaire who lives in Gotham City and dresses up as a bat to fight crime. However, in an Elseworlds title, he could be fighting dinosaurs as a caveman just because the writer of the book thought it’d be neat to see it happen. This doesn’t have to work into his normal continuity because it’s an Elseworlds book. Never Say Never Again feels like and Elseworlds James Bond tale. The M we’ve known in the films up to this point has left MI6, and a new, younger M has taken over. The new M is a prick who thinks that secret agents and wacky gadgets are a thing of the past, so he has all but disbanded the double “o” program. He sends an ageing Bond to a wellness center to get back in shape, during which time a nut job decides to steal two nuclear missiles, forcing M to thrust 007 back into the field. He doesn’t get much help from Q as Q Branch has basically been shut down. Also, Desmond Lewellyn doesn’t play Q. It’s some younger guy. Anyway, Bond is able to stop the attack, and the movie ends, but not before Sean Connery turns and winks to the camera. Ugh. In addition, we’re not treated to the normal “gun barrel” view at the beginning of the movie where bond shoots at the camera, and there’s no opening montage of silhouetted hotties floating around while the theme song plays. In addition to all that, 007’s best friend, Felix Leiter, who has been played by many actors over the course of the series, suddenly becomes African American for this one. Finally, playing Bond’s bumbling informant is Mr. Bean himself, Rowan Atkinson. Would someone please explain to me who the fuck is responsible for this movie and why anyone thought it was a good idea?

Title: A View To A Kill
Year of Release: 1985
Bond: Roger Moore
My Synopsis/Critique: Christopher Walken plays crazed industrialist Max Zorin, who plans to create a worldwide microchip monopoly by flooding, and thereby destroying, Silicon Valley in California where 90% of the Silicon used to make microchips originates. Luckily James Bond is able to figure all this out by investigating a horse racing scam involving steroids that are injected into the horses by devices hidden in the jockey’s whip handle. Of course, being the cultured fellow he is Zorin is involved with this little horse scheme on the side. Walken does a great job of pulling off the maniacal rich guy façade and seems to actually pose a threat to the aging Roger Moore. Speaking of which, A View To A Kill could have really used a younger 007. Moore was well past his prime by the time this movie was made. Regardless, the climactic battle, while ridiculous, really tied this movie together. Nothing beats Christopher Walken wielding an axe and trying to kill James Bond atop the Golden Gate bridge after his private blimp was crashed there by Bond. Also of note about this movie is that it includes the most hideous woman Bond has had sex with to date, being Zorin’s eraser-headed female assassin, May Day.

Title: The Living Daylights
Year of Release: 1987
Bond: Timothy Dalton
My Synopsis/Critique: Even while watching him portray James Bond, I can’t help but see Timothy Dalton as a villain. However, somehow he did an incredibly good job as 007. The Living Daylights was a much more violent and serious take on the super spy business than any of the previous films, which was a great move on the part of the filmmakers considering how ridiculous some of their more recent efforts had been. James Bond aids a defecting Societ general by the name of Georgi Koskov in escaping from his homeland before discovering that he was actually just pulling an elaborate ruse to be recaptured by his own government to put him in the clear long enough to become rich by smuggling some drugs out of Afghanistan. 007 enlists the aid of Koskov’s girlfriend to track him down, pretending to be friends with Georgi to ease her suspicions. There are some spectacular action scenes in this film including the botched training mission that starts the movie off and the chase scene in Czechoslovakia during which Bond and Koskov’s girlfriend sled down a hill on her cello case while being pursued by assassins on skis. The only real downfall to The Living Daylights is that it’s the first film (that actually fits into the series’ continuity) that doesn’t feature the original M and Moneypenny.

Title: Licence To Kill
Year of Release: 1989
Bond: Timothy Dalton
My Synopsis/Critique: James Bond is on his way to the wedding of his best friend, American CIA agent Felix Leiter, when Leiter is summoned to take down the biggest drug lord in America, Franz Sanchez. 007 tags along as they capture Franz in mid-air-getaway, and then he and Leiter proceed to parachute to the wedding. After bribing another CIA agent 2 million dollars to help him escape, Franz proceeds to murder Felix’s wife and torture Felix to near death, feeding one of his legs to a shark. When Bond discovers this, he wants revenge, but MI6 forbids him to involve himself in the matter, as it’s not their problem. The only way to stop the maniacal Franz Sanchez is to quit her majesty’s secret service and go rogue, which is exactly what he does. Keeping up the realism and intensity of Dalton’s first Bond film, Licence To Kill delivers a great super spy experience. Q even comes along for the ride, acting in the field to help 007 stop Franz, who has hatched a scheme to smuggle drugs by diluting them in gasoline and extracting them later. The film’s climax is among the best of the series as Bond embarks on a high speed chase after four tanker trucks full of drugged fuel down the side of a mountain. On a side note, Benicio Del Toro does a fairly poor job of portraying one of Sanchez’s knife-wielding goons.

Title: Goldeneye
Year of Release: 1995
Bond: Pierce Brosnan
My Synopsis/Critique: Does Goldeneye really need an explanation? This is the Bond film that captured a whole new generation, due in part to the video game based on it for the N64. Believing that Bond is responsible for his near-death at the hands of Russian general, Arkady Grigorovich Ourumov, former 006 Alec Trevelyan turns sides and joins up with Ourumov. Together they proceed to destroy one of two satellite-based lasers called Goldeneyes, leaving them in possession of the remaining laser, capable of devastation on a massive scale. While I personally prefer Timothy Dalton’s performance as 007, Pierce Brosnan does a good job of maintaining the more serious, realistic representation of Bond that Dalton created. Not only do we get a new Bond with this film, but also a new M played by Judy Dench. The writers made a brilliant transition from the old M to the new one by adding a new level of reality to her relationship with Bond. Joining up with one of the two surviving members of the team who ran the destroyed Goldeneye, 007 sets out to find the second laser and put it out of commission. Exceptional use is made of Q Branch with the grenade pen that comes into play late in the film thanks to the other survivor of the original Goldeneye, who is working for Trevelyan. Some great action scenes lie within this movie including the scene in which Bond steals a Tank and proceeds to chase Ourumov through the streets of Russia. Also worthy of note are the fight with Ourumov’s sexually crazed sidekick, Natalia, and the final battle between 006 and 007, suspended high above the ground on the huge satellite dish used to control the remaining Goldeneye laser.

Title: Tomorrow Never Dies
Year of Release: 1997
Bond: Pierce Brosnan
My Synopsis/Critique: Sadly, Pierce Brosnan’s second outing as the over-sexed agent of MI6 loses points in my book for going back to the Roger Moore era’s trend of employing villains that are more goofy than believable. Enter: Elliot Carver, a media baron with dreams of one day owning and operating the most influential news channel in the world. So influential, in fact, that he plans to use his shows to control the way the world works. When a British battleship disappears just outside Asian waters, James Bond is sent to investigate what is actually Carver’s first attempt at creating news with the intent to use it to provoke world events. Ideally, a war between Britain and China. Bond allies himself with Wai Lin, a member of The People’s External Security Force of China, and the two of them soon discover that Carver has stolen a missile off the British ship which he plans to unleash on the Chinese. While the plot may have gone south with Tomorrow Never Dies, the action maintains the standard of quality set in the previous three films. Of note are scenes in which Wai Lin and 007 are attempting to escape Elliot Carver’s grasp while handcuffed together. The ending is a bit ridiculous, though, as Bond takes down an entire stealth ship single-handedly and kills Carver by sending a large industrial drill flying in his direction.

Title: The World Is Not Enough
Year of Release: 1999
Bond: Pierce Brosnan
My Synopsis/Critique: After successfully returning a large sum of money that was stolen from an oil tycoon, James Bond discovers that he’d played right into the thief’s plans when the money is used to blow up said oil tycoon, and a large portion of the MI6 building. The money in question had been meant to pay for the release of the tycoon’s kidnapped daughter, Elektra, who was able to escape before the payment was made. Her captor was a man named Viktor Zokas who, after being shot in the head, became impervious to physical pain. Stealing the components of a nuclear device, Zokas attempts to blow up the oil pipeline that Elektra inherited from her recently deceased father, but with the help of nuclear physicist Dr. Christmas Jones, Bond discovers that Elektra is in fact in cahoots with Zokas. Apparently they fell in love while she was in his captivity. This marks the first time in the series that the villain is a female. Why would Elektra want to blow up her own pipeline, though? Well, that’s simple. She wanted to get close enough to MI6 to kidnap M, who she blames for advising her father not to pay her ransom. Immediately after MI6 is attacked at the time of the oil tycoon’s death at the beginning of the film, one of the best scenes of the movie occurs as Bond chases a sniper through London with an experimental boat from Q Branch. While the set-up of a rivalry between Bond and a man who can’t feel pain sounds like the equation for a great fight scene, when the scene in question finally comes about, it’s fairly disappointing. Perhaps most disappointing of all, though, is the exit of Desmond Lewellyn as Q. While in the movie, his character makes it quite clear that he won’t be returning. He is replaced by famous funnyman John Cleese in the role of R, the bumbling fool now in charge of Q Branch…or is it R Branch now?

Title: Die Another Day
Year of Release: 2002
Bond: Pierce Brosnan
My Synopsis/Critique: Ah, last but not least. No, wait. Let me rephrase that. Ah, last and most definitely least, we have Die Another Day. Personally, I wanted to die several times while watching this movie. So, James Bond is attempting to stop a diamond smuggling ring in the demilitarized zone between North and South Korea when he is taken captive and MI6 disavows all knowledge of his existence. Six months, a whole lot of torturing, and a Madonna theme song later, and his captives decide to give him up. Well, actually they plan to kill him while pretending to give him up, but who’s counting? So after meeting up with Halle Berry’s character, Jinx, who’s another secret agent, they jet off to the unveiling of a new triumph of science at the hands of millionaire Gustov Graves, who just so happens to be the Korean guy from the beginning who Bond thought he killed right before he was captured. Of course, he’s undergone some reconstructive surgery to look like an American, and has apparently taken LOTS of English lessons. Anyway, Graves has created a new satellite that stores up solar energy and can then reflect it in all kinds of cool places to solve our energy problems. In all reality, though, he plans to use it as a weapon. Can anyone say Goldeneye or Diamonds Are Forever? So, the controls to this satellite are built into a big robotic suit thing that Gustov wears that can also channel electricity while in hand to hand combat. I think you can see where this is going. The hovercraft battle in the beginning is all right, but none of the other action really qualifies as a saving grace for this movie. In essence, it sucks.

WHEW! So, now that we got all that out of the way, here are some of my basic opinions about the series. In other words, this is where I make my enemies:

Best Bond: Sean Connery

Best Bond Girl: Kara Milovy (Maryam d’Abo) – The Living Daylights

Second Best Bond Girl: Tatyana Romanova (Daniela Bianchi) – From Russia With Love

Best Main Villain: Dr. No (Joseph Wiseman) – Dr. No

Second Best Main Villain: Franz Sanchez (Robert Davi) – Licence To Kill

Best Tough Guy Villain: Donovan ‘Red’ Grant (Robert Shaw) – From Russia With Love

Second Best Tough Guy Villain: Jaws (Richard Kiel) – The Spy Who Loved Me

Best Fight Scene: Bond versus Red Grant on the Orient Express – From Russia With Love

Second Best Fight Scene: Bond versus Ernst Stavro Blofeld on a bobsled course - On Her Majesty’s Secret Service

Best Bond Movie: From Russia With Love

Second Best Bond Movie: Licence To Kill

Worst Bond: Roger Moore

Worst Bond Girl: Jinx (Halle Berry) – Die Another Day

Second Worst Bond Girl: May Day (Grace Jones) – A View To A Kill

Worst Main Villain: Mr. Big (Yaphet Kotto) - Live And Let Die

Second Worst Main Villain: Gustav Graves (Toby Stephens) – Die Another Day

Worst Tough Guy Villain: Tee Hee (Julius W. Harris) – Live And Let Die

Second Worst Tough Guy Villain: Jaws (Richard Kiel) - Moonraker

Worst Fight Scene: Bond versus Mr. Big in the shark pool - Live And Let Die

Second Worst Fight Scene: Bond versus Gustav Graves on the plane - Die Another Day

Worst Bond Movie: Never Say Never Again

Second Worst Bond Movie: Die Another Day

Maxim's 300 Movies You Must See Before You Die

2009-09-27T16:05:00.010-04:00

This post previously existed on my old blog, but I decided to move it over here as I still update it from time to time. I cancelled my subscription to Maxim Magazine some time ago, but right around the time I did so I received an issue in the mail which contained the list I've re-appropriated for this post. The issue was Maxim #125, the babe on the cover was Elisha Cuthbert, and the list in question was "The 300 Movies To See Before You Die".

Spend five minutes looking up movies on Google and you'll stumble upon dozens of lists just like this one which merely present the opinions of whoever crafted them. There are no real reasons for these lists to exist other than to spark conversation and debate, but I tend to find them irresistible. After all, if you have a blog you must have opinions, and if you have opinions, you most likely take great enjoyment in observing those of other people and comparing them to your own. So here I present Maxim's list, much of which I disagree with, for all to see and critique.

Also, for shits and giggles, all of the films which appear in BLUE are those which I had personally seen as of the original date of this post back when it was on my previous blog (April 17, 2008). All films appearing in ORANGE are those which I have caught up with after the original date of this post. If anyone reading this feels like counting out how many of the films named here they've seen, let me know your count via the comments section at the bottom of this post. I'd love to see how others' viewing experiences stack up.

Without further ado, I present Maxim's 300 Movies You Must See Before You Die:

COMEDY:
Airplane!
Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy
Animal House
American Pie
Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery
Bachelor Party
Bananas
Beverly Hills Cop
The Big Lebowski
Blazing Saddles
Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan
Caddyshack
The Cannonball Run
Clerks
Dazed and Confused
Duck Soup
Dumb & Dumber
Election
The 40-Year-Old Virgin
Ghostbusters
Groundhog Day
Happy Gilmore
Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle
It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World
The Jerk
Kingpin
Modern Times
Monty Python and the Holy Grail
The Nutty Professor (1963)
Office Space
Old School
The Pink Panther Strikes Again
The Princess Bride
Raising Arizona
Sixteen Candles
Some Like It Hot
This Is Spinal Tap
Trading Places
Vacation
Wedding Crashers
Wet Hot American Summer
Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory (1971)
Young Frankenstein

WAR:
Apocalypse Now
Black Hawk Down
The Bridge on the River Kwai
The Deer Hunter
The Dirty Dozen
Dr. Strangelove or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb
Gallipoli
The Great Escape
M*A*S*H
Platoon
Saving Private Ryan

SO BAD THEY'RE GOOD:
Airport 1975
Barbarella
Battlefield Earth
Beyond the Valley of the Dolls
Death Race 2000
Glen or Glenda?
Phantom of the Paradise
Reefer Madness
Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band
Showgirls
The Toxic Avenger

REBELS:
Billy Jack
Cool Hand Luke
Dirty Harry
Dirty Mary Crazy Larry
Easy Rider
Ferris Bueller's Day Off
The Graduate
A History of Violence
The Hustler
The King of Comedy
Network
One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest
Raging Bull
Risky Business
Sid & Nancy
Smokey and the Bandit
Taxi Driver
Three Days of the Condor
Trainspotting

CLASSICS:
The Adventures of Robin Hood (1938)
Ben-Hur
Casablanca
Double Indemnity
Kind Hearts and Coronets
Lawrence of Arabia
Metropolis (1927)
The Night of the Hunter
On the Waterfront
The Third Man
Touch of Evil
Vertigo
White Heat
The Wizard of Oz

SCI-FI/FANTASY:
2001: A Space Odyssey
Alien
Aliens
Back to the Future
Blade Runner
Children of Men
Close Encounters of the Third Kind
E.T.
King Kong (1933)
Planet of the Apes (1968)
Star Wars Episode 4: A New Hope
Star Wars Episode 5: The Empire Strikes Back
Starship Troopers
Terminator
Terminator II: Judgement Day

HORROR:
28 Days Later
Carrie
The Exorcist
Dawn of the Dead (1978)
The Fly
Halloween (1978)
Jaws
Night of the Living Dead (1968)
A Nightmare on Elm Street
Psycho (1960)
Rosemary's Baby
The Shining (1980)
The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974)

WESTERNS:
Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid
The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly
High Noon
High Plains Drifter
Jeremiah Johnson
The Searchers
Tombstone
True Grit
Unforgiven
The Wild Bunch

BUDDY MOVIES:
American Graffiti
The Blues Brothers
Breaking Away
Deliverance
Glengarry Glen Ross
The Goonies
The Last Detail
Lethal Weapon
The Right Stuff
Saturday Night Fever
The Shawshank Redemption
Stand By Me
Stripes
Superbad
Swingers
Top Gun
The Warriors

ACTION:
Batman
Batman Begins
Battle Royale
The Bourne Identity
The Bournce Supremacy
The Bourne Ultimatum
Braveheart
Clash of the Titans
Die Hard
Enter the Dragon
Face/Off
First Blood
48 Hrs.
Gladiator
The Incredibles
Kill Bill Vol. 1
Kill Bill Vol. 2
The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring
The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers
The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King
The Matrix
Predator
Raiders of the Lost Ark
The Road Warrior
Rocky
Rocky II
Rocky III
Rocky IV
Speed
Spiderman

NON-GRATUITOUS NUDITY!:
10
Angel Heart
Body Heat
Boogie Nights
Carnal Knowledge
Coffy
Fast Times at Ridgemont High
Jackass: The Movie
McCabe & Mrs. Miller
Mulholland Drive
Poison Ivy: The New Seduction
Revenge of the Nerds
Wild Things

ART HOUSE:
Annie Hall
Badlands
The Bicycle Thief
City of God
A Clockwork Orange
The Conversation
Do The Right Thing
Elephant Man
The Last Picture Show
Midnight Cowboy
Repo Man
Rushmore
Short Cuts
There Will Be Blood
Withnail and I

MINDBENDERS:
Akira
Beetlejuice
Blue Velvet
Brazil
Donnie Darko
Edward Scissorhands
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
Fight Club
The Manchurian Candidate (1962)
Memento
Pink Floyd: The Wall
The Rocky Horror Picture Show

COPS:
Bad Lieutenant
Bullitt
Chinatown
The Departed
Donnie Brasco
Fargo
The French Connection
Hard Boiled
Robocop
Se7en
Shaft (1971)
The Silence of the Lambs
To Live and Die in L.A.
The Untouchables

CRIMINALS:
Atlantic City
Bad Boys (1983)
Bloody Mama
Bonnie and Clyde
The Boys From Brazil
Boyz N the Hood
Carlito's Way
Casino
Crimes and Misdemeanors
Dog Day Afternoon
The Getaway
Get Carter (1971)
The Godfather
The Godfather Part II
Goodfellas
Heat
In Cold Blood
The Long Good Friday
Mean Streets
Midnight Express
Natural Born Killers
No Country For Old Men
Pulp Fiction
Reservoir Dogs
River's Edge
Scarface
Sexy Beast
Sin City
Super Fly
True Romance

THE MASTER CLASS:
Breathless
Citizen Kane
La Dolce Vita
Seven Samurai
The 400 Blows
The Seventh Seal
Un Chien Andalou

SEQUELS THAT ARE BETTER THAN THE ORIGINAL:
Bride of Frankenstein
Evil Dead II
Star Trek: The Wrath of Khan
Superman II

NON-BORING DOCUMENTARIES:
Brother's Keeper
Don't Look Back
Gimme Shelter
Hoop Dreams
Pumping Iron
Richard Pryor: Live in Concert
When We Were Kings

CONSPICUOUSLY GAY STRAIGHT MOVIES (BEYOND TOP GUN):
300
The Bear
Spartacus
X-Men

CONSPICUOUSLY GAY SWAYZE MOVIES:
Next of Kin
The Outsiders
Point Break
Red Dawn
Road House
Youngblood

ESSENTIAL JAMES BOND MOVIES:
Casino Royale
Goldfinger
Live and Let Die
The Spy Who Loved Me
You Only Live Twice

BEST MOVIES WITH PUPPETS:
Being John Malkovich
The Dark Crystal
The Muppet Movie
Superstar: The Karen Carpenter Story
Team America
Weekend At Bernie's

MOVIES YOU NEED TO SEE ONCE, BUT ARE SO TRAUMATIC YOU NEVER NEED TO SEE AGAIN:
Leaving Las Vegas
Million Dollar Baby
Requiem For a Dream
Schindler's List
United 93

Number of Maxim's 300 movies that I had seen as of April 17, 2008: 175

Number of Maxim's 300 movies that I have seen as of February 28, 2010: 207

***Note: While it sounds nice to round down to 300, by my count there were in fact 317 titles on Maxim's list. However, six of these films were mentioned in more than one category, so I've omitted the doubles, leaving a total of 311 individual films recognized on the above list.

What I Look For In An Alien/Predator Comic

2009-09-19T10:42:00.007-04:00

I got into comic books when I was about 12 years old and my father brought home a copy of Aliens: Berserk #1 for me to read. For the first few years of my comic-reading life I pretty much only collected Alien and Predator comics, and back then there were a lot to choose from, so I was happy. Eventually Dark Horse Comics stopped publishing new Alien and Predator books, but by that point I was already getting into other titles such as X-Men and Wildcats. My passion for Aliens and Predator never went away though, and when Dark Horse announced last year that they'd be bringing those characters into the fold I was ecstatic.

The new Aliens title has been okay thus far. There is a pretty cool android character, the Aliens are fairly accurately drawn (aside from the weird pincers on the sides of their mouths which were introduced back in Aliens: Earth War), and I like the artist Zack Howard quite a bit. The Predator book, on the other hand, has been very sub-par. The art feels rushed and careless, and the story is pretty weak. Still, I'm collecting both series because if there were an Aliens or Predator comic that I didn't buy, there would be something terribly wrong with the world.

As you could probably have guessed, Dark Horse is also planning a new Aliens vs Predator mini-series to follow up their individual 4 issue minis. The writer of this new book, Randy Stradley, recently posted a thread in the Dark Horse forums asking fans what they'd like to see in the new AvP book. Of course, I couldn't help myself. The following is my response to Stradley's question:

Here's what I DON'T want to see in an Aliens, Predator, or Aliens vs Predator comic:

- Don't give any one Alien a specific personality or recognizable physical features/nicknames.

- The marines in Aliens were awesome, but don't make all of the human characters into archetypes of Hicks, Hudson, Gorman, and Vasquez.

- Make it scary. Most Alien and Predator comics have been all about action. Think about the climax of Aliens: Alchemy #1. That was creepy.

- DON'T show the Alien or Predator homeworlds.

- DON'T put any Aliens on Earth.

- NO Predaliens. Ever.

- Predators and humans should NEVER team up.

- For the artist (whoever it may end up being): Draw the Predator's mouth correctly.

- Remember one of the key factors from Predator and the first three Alien films: A small group of people isolated with something they're not prepared to fight = great suspense and tension. See also: Tremors, The Thing, etc., etc., etc.

- People love the Colonial Marines from Aliens for a reason. Let's see some accurately drawn Colonial Marines with accurately drawn Pulse Rifles, Smart Guns, etc. Any new uniforms/weapons will inevitably be inferior to those which the fans fell in love with from the movie.

- NO mechanical suits of armor (i.e. Berserker suits). The Power Loader is the exception, but it was done best in Aliens, so there's no reason to try to top that.

- Build up to an awesome, exciting ending. The climax of an Aliens vs Predator comic should leave a fan of the source material as exhilarated as he/she is after watching Alien, Aliens, or Predator.

- Lastly, and most importantly, remember how hard it was to kill a Predator or an Alien in their respective first films? Remember how hard it was to kill an Alien, even with advanced weaponry, in Aliens? Let's keep it that way. EVERY Alien and Predator should be a threat. Too often in past Alien and Predator comics the monsters have been merely cannon fodder while the human characters crack jokes or blather on about whatever. The creatures are important. They are what is selling your books. DON'T SELL THEM SHORT.

Shortly after I posted that message, I received a response from another fan who called me out for fearing change and defended against most of my requests by using the argument that most of the things I said I didn't want to see had already been done in previous Alien and Predator comics or the two AvP films. This was my response to that post:

Your response to just about all of my requests was "this has already been done/appeared in a comic or movie." Well, personally, I don't think that's a good reason to include any of those things in a new comic. To each his own, but all of the things I mentioned in my last post are things I would leave out of my perfect Aliens and/or Predator comic. I've never liked the designs of any Predalien, nor have I particularly cared for any of the new weapons introduced for Colonial Marines or other soldiers when compared to the Pulse Rifle. I'd rather never ever, ever see the Alien or Predator homeworlds because that strips the characters of much of their mystery and mystique. It doesn't make them more cool or interesting in my opinion.

Also, I personally despise Alien Resurrection, AVP, and AVP-R, so I'd rather those not be considered canon. That's just my opinion.

I simply feel that no Alien or Predator comic has EVER been as good as the first two Alien films or the first Predator film. I love the characters and situations from those movies and would prefer to see those expanded on in a comic than to have new societies, weapons, etc created that will inevitably disappoint me when compared to those films. Maybe I'm too cynical, but I just love the Colonial Marines. I love the Alien. I love the Predator. I want to see extensions of the films that made me love those characters, not re-imaginings of them.

I've read (and for the most part, enjoyed in some capacity) every single Alien, Predator, and Aliens vs Predator comic book ever published, but I'm still waiting for that one comic that captures the tone and characteristics of the movies properly, the way I'd like to see it done.

In my opinion the best single Alien comic Dark Horse has ever done was the short story "45 Seconds" which appeared in the Aliens Special. The Colonial Marines' outfits and weapons were VERY accurately drawn, as well as the few Aliens that appear. It was creepy, exciting, and extremely reminiscent of the film Aliens. Also, I loved the artwork by Frank Teran. A full-length mini-series done like that short comic is what I'm really craving from Dark Horse.

I know that's not what everybody wants, but that's what I'm interested in. I know that's probably not what I'll end up getting from this new AVP series, but I'll still buy every issue because I love both the Alien and the Predator so much. I've been collecting Alien and Predator comics since I was a kid and I'm not about to stop now. I'm simply still waiting for that perfect Alien/Predator comic.

As you can see, I take my Aliens and Predators seriously.

The image at the top of this post is that of the Aliens Special which I reference in my second post.

Richard Corben's Non-Comics Work

2009-09-12T18:45:00.001-04:00

"Richard Corben is the best comic book artist ever."

That's not something you're bound to hear a whole lot of people say. Honestly, I'm not going to say that either. However I will say that Corben shares the title of "my favorite comic book artist" with Travis Charest, meaning that I like his artwork a whole lot to say the least.

If you know me personally, you've probably seen a lot of Rich's comic book covers and interiors as I am known to champion them to anyone within earshot (and eyeshot) whenever the chance presents itself. What most people (even those who call me their friend) are probably not familiar with, however, are Corben's works of art outside of the comic book industry.

If you plumb the depths of a stack of dusty old science fiction paperbacks in the corner of a mom and pop used book store you've got a pretty good chance of uncovering one or two titles with Rich's work adorning the cover. However, to hunt down and display those here would undoubtedly have an unpleasant effect on my sanity, so instead what I've got to share with you, my beloved readers, are some more mainstream works of art.

CLICK ANY IMAGE TO ENLARGE
First, we have the one you most likely have a pretty good chance of having seen before. This is one of two posters produced for the Heavy Metal movie from back in 1981. The other poster (which you can view here) is the one most people know because it has been used for all of the packaging and promotion of the movie on DVD and Home Video over the years. If you'd gone into a theater showing the film back in '81 though, you probably would have seen one of these bad boys, which prominently features Corben's own creation, Den:

After the Heavy Metal poster, the non-comic book Corben painting the average person is most likely to have seen (depending on your music taste) is the album cover for Meatloaf's Bat Out Of Hell. Apparently this artwork was a rush job (though I'd be hard pressed to prove it based on the quality of the art itself) which arrived at CBS records less than one week from the day they commissioned him to paint it. Amazing!

Now we get into the more obscure work. I'd never heard of Jim Steinman before, but according to Wikipedia he's a record producer, composer, and lyricist who has worked with Meatloaf on multiple occasions, which explains how he ended up with a Richard Corben painting on the cover of his album Bad For Good:

Now here's one that I found truly bizarre. Everyone's heard of Brian De Palma, director of such films as Carrie, The Untouchables, Scarface, Carlito's Way, and Mission Impossible. But did you know that in 1974 he wrote and directed a rock opera version of The Phantom Of The Opera called Phantom Of The Paradise? Well, if IMDb is to be believed, he did just that and Richard Corben painted one of the original posters for the movie. For those who have seen the Berserk anime or read the manga of the same name, is it just me or does that dude in the mask remind you of Griffith when he's got his helmet on?

Last, but not least, we have the movie poster for a no-name 80's horror movie called Spookies. Apparently it's one of those "a group of people spend the night in a haunted house" flicks. Having looked up the directors and "stars" of the film on IMDb, even though I've never actually watched it, I can pretty much surmise that this poster is the best thing about the movie:

In closing, I'd like to give props to the internet in general for helping me to discover, locate, and share these pieces of artwork with others. Of note is an absolutely invaluable resource for anyone wishing to learn more about Richard Corben, which goes by the name "The Most Complete Comicography Of Richard Corben", or Muuta.net for short. Then of course there's Richard Corben's personal site: CorbenStudios.com.

Now go spread the word: Richard Corben is (one of) the best comic book artist(s) ever.

My Movie Radar

2009-08-21T06:15:00.004-04:00

As of October 24th, 2009 I have decided to stop updating My Movie Radar. It's simply too much work and not really worth the effort. It's easier just to program the release dates of movies into the calendar on my cell phone than to keep up with this thing.

- Rian

Vigilante Granny on ZUDA Comics!

2009-07-17T19:03:00.001-04:00

Some of my former classmates and I have a web comic in competition over at ZUDA Comics right now. For those not in the know, ZUDA is run by DC Comics. You know, the people who bring us Batman and Superman every month? So guess what, if enough people head over to ZUDA's website and vote for us, I could potentially get a check from DC Comics in the mail. How cool's that? Pretty damn cool, right? Right.

So what the hell are you waiting for?! Click the pic below and go vote already!

Vigilante Granny FTW!

Recent Acquisitions 002: Wizard World Philly '09

2009-06-24T04:40:00.006-04:00

This past Saturday (June 20) I was in attendance at Wizard World Philaldephia for my seventh year. The con has been running for eight years (beginning in 2002), but due to poor planning I missed the '08 show. There are many reasons that I love to go to comic shows, but the main reason for me personally has always been to empty out my wallet a bit. I used to try to get autographs, but honestly I just don't care that much about having my books signed. I'm not a real big fan of sitting in on panels either, and would rather get my con news in the form of bullet points on Newsarama or CBR later. I've also done a few portfolio reviews at cons and should probably do more of those in the future as well, but as I said, up until now I've mainly gone to comic shows to shop. I wouldn't go so far as to call myself stingy, but I'm somewhat conservative when it comes to my cash considering that I've never had a whole lot of it, and comic shows tend to be one of the only events at which I really let loose from within the bowels of my bank account.

I started out when I was maybe 12 years old at little local cons back in the day, rummaging through boxes of 25 or even 10 cent comics in hotel conference rooms and coming home with about $40 worth of books per show (which was a lot of money for me back then). Eventually I got into action figures and wound up spending a couple hundred dollars per show on building up my collection. As that phase passed I went to the San Diego Comic Con for the first (and second, and third) time and discovered the world of convention exclusive artist sketchbooks, which have been known, quite famously among a few of my Kubert School peers (namely Andre), to eat up a lot of my money. These days I mainly troll the aisles of comic shows looking for cheap trade paperback collections. After the huge graphic novel boom of the past decade or so had been around for a few years, more and more back issue boxes at shows began to transform into "25% off", "two for $25", "50% off", or even "$4 each" boxes of trades (the last of which I saw at multiple tables for the first time at this most recent show). At prices like those I can scarcely contain myself (or my budget, which I generally try to set for myself before going into any show), and wind up coming home with a plethora of new square-bound volumes to litter my already lacking shelf space.

Devoid of other, more noteworthy topics to blog about for the time being, I've decided to make a record here of my purchases at the 2009 Wizard World Philly convention. Sometime last month I wrote a post called "Recent Acquisitions", in which I revealed what I'd been accumulating from ebay at the time, so I figured that the title would fit this post as well. Here, then, are my acquisitions from the most recent Wizard World Philly:

Oh, and I was going to find images for all of these and make links for them and shit, but two seconds later I came to my senses and decided that I might like to do something other than blog over the course of the next 48 hours. If something sounds interesting to you, by all means...Google.

303 TPB - Not really sure what it's about, but it's a Garth Ennis book from Avatar, so something tells me I'll enjoy it immensely.

Adrenaline #8 - Picked this bad boy up from my friend and former classmate Tyler Chin-Tanner at his A Wave Blue World booth. Last issue of the series. Look for the Trade Paperback coming your way in August (if I'm not mistaken). It's gonna feature a pin-up by yours truly.

Appleseed - I don't have terribly fond memories of the original Appleseed anime (and found the more recent CG movie to be quite boring), but I've become quite interested in Masamune Shirow's art after seeing multiple examples of his work on Brandon Graham's blog. Some guy was selling a bunch of old Eclipse Manga books (including all of the Dirty Pair stuff that took me lots of time and money to acquire on ebay) for $1 each, so I snagged all of the Appleseed stuff he had. Appleseed Book One Vol. 1 - 5, Book Two Vol. 1 - 5, and Book Three Vol. 1 & 5.

The Amazing Spiderman: Spirits of the Earth HC - A Spiderman graphic novel drawn by Charles Vess? I never even knew this existed. I picked it up on those criteria alone.

Anna Mercury Shirt - William Christensen gave me a deal on this and another t-shirt at the Avatar booth.

El Diablo TPB - I like Brian Azzarello and I like Daniel Zezelj. I've had issues 3 and 4 for a while now and decided to just pick up the trade while it was only $6.50 instead of bothering to hunt down numbers 1 and 2.

Elektra: Assassin TPB - I'm not the biggest fan of either Frank Miller or Bill Sienkiewicz, but enough people seem to regard the book as a classic that I've been inspired to give it a read. This is an old Epic Comics collection with a cover price of $12.95. Nowadays a trade paperback collecting 8 issues would probably cost $25 or more. The thing is in amazing shape for an older trade though, which is why I picked it up even though I already have numbers 1 through 7 of the singles.

Excess: The Art of Michael Golden HC - I'd never even heard of this book before, but it must be fairly recent because while I was flipping through it in the car on the way home from Philadelphia I noticed that Golden's variant cover for Wetworks from two or three years ago was reprinted in there. This may have been the single most expensive thing that I bought at the show this year, but even if the text/interview isn't great, there's a ton of awesome artwork inside.

Formerly Known As The Justice League TPB - This is the series that first opened my eyes to the art of Kevin Maguire (I was late to the party, I know). I started picking it up with issue 2, and for some reason unbeknownst to me, issue 1 is relatively hard to find. I've never seen a copy in person aside from the copy I borrowed from Andre at the Kubert School so that I could read the series after they'd all come out. Rather than hunting for #1 I decided to go ahead and pick up the trade for half price.

Freak Angels Shirt - This is the other t-shirt that I got a deal on at the Avatar booth.

Gotham Central Vol. 4 & 5 TPBs - I read the first issue of this series a few months ago after I found it in a dollar bin and immediately decided that I needed to read every issue. I now own volumes 1, 4, and 5.

Hardware DVD - This is a sci-fi/horror movie that has been out of print on DVD for a while now. As such, the copy I got is bootlegged, but after reading about it on Cyberpunk Review, I can't wait to check it out.

Harlan Ellison's Dream Corridor Vol. 2 TPB - I like sci-fi and short stories, but the main draw here is the 14 page story drawn by Richard Corben.

Hawk & Dove TPB - I didn't even know that this series was re-printed, but like Elektra: Assassin it's obviously an older collection. This is the series that first made a name for Rob Liefeld, and I swear that looking at it I can understand why. No joke, this is the best Liefelds art has ever looked. I'm actually excited to read the book.

Hellblazer: The Family Man TPB - The only Hellblazer trade currently available that I hadn't bought yet.

The Incredible Hulk Vol. 4 & 6 TPBs - I've been slowly making my way through Bruce Jones' run of Hulk, and these are two of the volumes I was missing. I was hoping to find the volume entitled "Big Things" at the show because it, as with all of the Bruce Jones trades, I believe, is out of print and particularly hard to find among the series. No luck, though.

The Incredible Hulk: Tempest Fugit TPB - This volume immediately follows Bruce Jones' run on Hulk, so I decided that I'd give it a try after I've finally made it through the series. Also, I'm curious to see how I find Peter David's Hulk since he seems to be the second most influential writer of the character after Stan Lee.

Intersections - This is a square-bound sketchbook featuring the work of Sean Phillips and Duncan Fegredo. There has been a copy on the 40% off cart at the comic store where I work for months now and I've nearly bought it a dozen or more times, but now I'm glad I didn't because I snagged it at the Philly con for $4.

John Horus Action Figure - I stopped collecting action figures a few years ago, but even though this particular figure looks like crap, I liked the comic book the character comes from (Black Summer) enough that I couldn't pass it up for a measly $4.

Just Imagine Stan Lee's The Flash - The Kevin Maguire art would have been enough to convince me to buy this on it's own, but I bought an original page from this book for $20 at last year's Baltimore Comic Con and have been meaning to actually read it ever since.

Lobo/The Mask #1 & 2 - I like Doug Mahnke. Also, doesn't Lobo fighting Stanley Ipkiss just sound like a hoot?

Manhunter: Street Justice TPB - I never gave Manhunter a second thought other than to ponder the fact that DC now has two characters with "Manhunter" in their names. A few weeks ago I was talking to one of my fellow employees at Beyond Comics about my sudden interest in Gotham Central and he recommended Manhunter to me as a similar title I might like. I'm still not too clear on what I'm in for, but I bought it on his recommendation.

The Mask Returns TPB - As I mentioned above, I like Doug Mahnke and The Mask is just a fun character to read. If you only know The Mask from the Jim Carrey film, then you don't know The Mask. If they'd made the movie true to the comics, It probably would have suffered a fate similar to the Tank Girl movie.

Modern Masters Vol. 12: Michael Golden - I've already got the Kevin Maguire, Arthur Adams, and Mike Wieringo volumes of this spectacular series of in-depth artist interview books, and would like to collect every volume. Now I have four out of the twenty or so available issues. Whoever sets up the interviews for these things really needs to get Paul Pope, Richard Corben, Travis Charest, Stuart Immonen, all three of the Kuberts, and Frank Quitely on the phone.

Monster (aka Humanoids From The Deep) DVD - This is another hard to find movie that I decided to settle for a bootlegged copy of just so I could finally see it. I watched it the other night, and as a cheesy monster movie with old school creature effects by the great Rob Bottin, it didn't disappoint.

The Nam Vol. 1 TPB - Like Elektra: Assassin, this is obviously an old collection. A $4.95 cover price for 5 issues worth of story and art? Not to mention I picked it up for half price ($2.50) and the art is by Michael Golden, which almost literally makes the deal I got on this trade too good to be true. According to the reader review of the book that I read on Amazon a few weeks ago, the five issues contained in this volume are only the first half of a ten part story, the latter half of which was never collected, but I could really care less because the art is so good.

The Placebo Man TPB - This is a collection of short stories by an artist named Tomer Hanuka who I first discovered when he was doing the cover art for the short-lived Vertigo series The Un-Men. Like Intersections, a copy of this book has been calling my name from the 40% off cart at the store where I work for some time now even though I've already read the book and found myself generally unimpressed. Also like Intersections, I was able to get the book at the show for the incredible price of $4, so I really couldn't say "no". Also, when you get right down to it, the one short story that I really love in this book (Elephant Graveyard) is probably worth the original $14.95 cover price on it's own.

Robin: Year One TPB - I bought Batgirl Year One because I really like the artist (Marcos Martin) and ended up really enjoying the series as a whole. As it turns out, the same team responsible for Batgirl: Year One also brought us this book, so this purchase was a no-brainer (even if Marcos Martin didn't draw the entire thing). What bugs me is that after I went through so much trouble to track down Batgirl: Year One on ebay in single issue form because the trade is out of print and somewhat rare, I found a copy in great condition for 50% off at the show. I couldn't justify buying it though, since I already have the entire series in single issues and there was plenty of other stuff at the con that I had my eye on.

Rogue #2, 3, & 4 - Already had #1 from a 25 cent box at some long-forgotten convention. Mike Wieringo art.

Streets Of Glory #5 - This is a recent single issue that I just somehow missed the week it came out. Now I can finally read Garth Ennis' presumably very bloody take on the western.

Supreme Power Vol. 2 & 3 TPBs - I'd borrowed the entire 18 issue series from someone at the Kubert School and enjoyed it enough to want to read it again. I've had the first volume for two years or more and finally found 2 & 3 on the cheap. Not that it isn't worth the full price of admission, because after re-reading it over the past few days I can definitely attest to it's quality.

It's Good Because It's Bad

2009-05-16T18:45:00.001-04:00

We've all said it before: "It's so bad it's good." Some of the movies I look back on with the most fondness are ones which aren't generally considered to be very good. Films like Phantoms, Chill Factor, The Faculty, and Universal Soldier. Speaking of which, check this out:

That's right, Dolph and Jean-Claude will be back together in Universal Soldier 3: The Next Generation in 2010. That movie's still a ways off, but more and more these days I've been getting excited about films that honestly don't look very good. Now, you could chalk that up to me just having poor taste (which I wouldn't necessarily blame you for), but I think that it's been long enough since the types of action and sci-fi movies I loved growing up went out of style that they seem to be making a bit of a resurgence. Look at more recent movies like Slither, 12 Rounds, and even the new Rambo film for proof of this.

Essentially, I've just been getting a lot more excited about a lot of cheesy looking movies, and you know what? I'm fine with that. Some people probably hear that Jet Li, Jason Statham, Dolph Lundgren, Goldberg, and Sylvester Stallone are going to be in a new action movie called The Expendables and scoff at the idea, but I think it sounds great! In fact, that's probably one of my most anticipated movies of 2010 right now along with Iron Man 2 and the aforementioned Universal Soldiers sequel. So I figured that I'd try using my blog to turn a few people onto some movies that they might otherwise overlook. Below are trailers for some upcoming action movies which may seem laughable on the surface, but may actually prove to take you back to the days when you could just sit back and watch Arnold Schwarzenegger impale people all day and love it. I won't say that you had to grow up on movies like Commando to find an interest in these trailers, but I'm sure it wouldn't hurt.

G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra
I figured I'd start with this trailer because I'm betting that most people have either already seen it or at least heard about it by now. Chances are if you've seen the preview already you think the movie looks abysmal. Maybe that's because you loved G.I.Joe when you were younger and think that the movie looks too cheesy. If that's the case, take a moment and think about the old Joe cartoons and comic books. Doesn't knocking the Eiffel Tower over with some crazy plant virus missile thing seem like the kind of ridiculously evil plot Cobra Commander would have concocted in those issues and episodes? Hell yes it does! We're talking about a franchise that had guy named "Golobulus" who could turn people into snake-men! So watch the trailer again with that in mind and try to imagine how awesome you'd have thought this movie looked if you'd seen this trailer 20 years ago.

Gamer
Now we're getting into the nitty-gritty. In this film death row inmates are given the chance to be pardoned and released from custody if they can survive 30 rounds of "Slayers", a futuristic video game in which people at home literally control the bodies and actions of prisoners like Kable (Gerard Butler) as they play the equivalent of a modern day FPS deathmatch game with real live people.It doesn't get much cheesier than that, but if you've ever watched The Running Man with Arnold Schwarzenegger and enjoyed it, you should have an open mind when it comes to this one. Look at those explosions! Also, Michael C. Hall from Dexter is the bad guy, which I can't wait to see.

Armored
In the case of this trailer, I admit that even I may not have paid it much mind if it weren't for the cast. Matt Dillon, Laurence Fishburne, Jean Reno, Skeet Ulrich, Milo Ventimiglia, and Fred "Tremors" Ward! Sure, it's not all Brad Pitts and Clive Owens', but that's still a pretty nice round-up regardless. Basically, the new guy on a team of armored car guards doesn't think too highly of his partners' plan to rob one of their own trucks, so he locks himself up in said armored vehicle with an injured cop and all of the money, then tries to stay alive long enough to turn his "friends" in. Get that many character actors in a room and give them this concept and I'm sold. How about you?

Command Performance
I don't think I need to say too much about this one. Dolph Lundgren stars in, co-wrote, and directed this beast about the drummer of a rock band who has to fight back against a group of terrorists who have attacked a concert for some reason. Stupid? Yes. Fun? Hell yes!! The blog-o-sphere is already referring to Command Performance as "Die Hard at a rock concert". Don't lie to yourself. You want to see this movie. And if this teaser isn't enough for you, you can check out a full length trailer for Command Performance here.

Resident Evil 5: My Review

2009-05-15T01:53:00.007-04:00

Resident Evil 5 is a game that I wanted to play, but wasn't dying to get my hands on. Basically, I feel like I have a hard time getting into a lot of games these days, and since I never played RE4, which started the whole "not really zombies" storyline, I didn't really have the itch to dive into this game. I even played the demo when it was released on the Playstation Network and it didn't really change my mind. What it eventually took to get me excited was a taste of the two-player co-op mode. After I played the RE5 demo in co-op mode with Ricky, I immediately felt the urge to play the full game, so we acquired a copy from Blockbuster and went to town. All in all it took us three nights to beat the game, playing between 4 and 6 hours a night; Ricky as Chris Redfield and myself as the new character, Sheva. The following is my account of the experience playing through Resident Evil 5 in co-op mode:

First of all, the game looks great. It seems rare that I play a PS3 game which doesn't impress me visually, and RE5 is no exception. Second: the gameplay. We began (as we always do) on the normal/medium difficulty setting, which made the game challenging, but not so difficult that we had a problem with dying too frequently (until the end that is, which I'll get into in a little while). There's a decent variety of weapons with a pretty cool upgrading system to help give you more motivation to locate and obtain gold and treasures which you can use to purchase said upgrades. As with all of the RE titles, the game forces you to be strategic by limiting the number of items you can carry in your inventory at any given time. This adds a level of extra thought which makes the game both frustrating and fun, but if you're familiar with the RE games you probably knew that already. As far as the enemies are concerned, if you played through RE4 (or watched someone else play through it like I did) there isn't much new here aside from the bosses, but that's all well and good. There's a good enough variety of enemies that they never get old, and it was exciting to see the Lickers make an appearance for the first time in quite a while.

The game takes place in Africa, which is a pleasant change of scenery from the previous games. Speaking of the scenery, I already mentioned that the game looks great, but there are some really cool locales to play through. You begin in some dusty towns and eventually end up in a marshland, abandoned mining caves, an ancient temple, the standard underground Umbrella laboratory, and even a few boats/barges. One of the things the game had to offer which I was most delighted by were the scripted action scenes such as one which places you behind the trigger of a turret on a jeep that's speeding through the desert being chased by motorcycle-riding 'zombies' and huge trucks which you need to take out. I wasn't used to seeing that sort of action-packed gameplay in a Resident Evil game.

Now for the good stuff. The real draw of this game for me was, as I mentioned, the co-op. Resident Evil 5 offers so many great features and events for players to overcome as a team. I'm sure it works fine if you play through with the A.I. character, but nothing beats calling out to your friend for cover fire or a quick heal when you're in a tight spot. As with a number of two-player games these days you can be mortally wounded without dying immediately, giving your partner an opportunity to find you and give you a quick boost of health to bring you back from the verge of death. As far as I'm concerned, no video game moment beats the feeling of cooperation and teamwork that one gets from an instance like that. The ultimate example of this is the game Army of Two, which was designed specifically to be played by two people, but RE5 definitely still gets it right.

There are a lot of other cool moments to experience with a partner that are specific to certain parts of the game, as well. For example, there's a really tense segment which takes place in a pitch black mine shaft. As you enter said maze of tunnels you'll find a lantern with a big battery which one player must hold and use to light the way while the other takes out any 'zombies' you come across. It makes for some great teamwork. Even simple occurrences such as when one player is about to accidentally set off a tripwire and the other sees it and shouts out "STOP!" just in time to avoid a disaster make playing a game like this so much more rewarding. Not to mention, specific to the pairing of Ricky and I, we're very different when it comes to the way we like to play these types of games, which makes for some interesting interaction. For example, if a Shotgun or a Magnum is available, I'm gonna want it in my inventory, whereas Ricky tends to prefer machine guns and sniper rifles. This makes us the perfect team as one of us will always be perfectly suited for any situation. If there are enemies firing explosive arrows at us from across the level, I'll hang back and let Ricky take care of them with his rifle, and if larger, tougher enemies attack us straight on I'll take over the heavy lifting with my more powerful, close range weapons.

After beating the campaign mode, you're awarded Mercenaries Mode as was the case with the last few RE games as well. In this mode you're essentially dropped in the middle of one of eight (if I'm not mistaken) different stages and left to fend off a seemingly endless horde of increasingly dangerous enemies. You get points for every 'zombie' that you kill and bonuses for killing multiple enemies in short periods of time, earning you "combos" for rapid kills. You can either focus your attention on simply staying alive and racking up kills or also trying to locate and destroy glowing "time bonus" symbols which tack on extra minutes to the goal time you must meet to win in hopes that you can use that extra time to kill even more enemies and max out your score. Rank high enough in each level and you'll earn more characters and costumes to play with. Again, this mode takes teamwork to the extreme as Ricky and I often found ourselves healing one another, warning the other player of danger or new enemies, and swapping ammo when needed.

All in all I've got almost nothing bad to say about Resident Evil 5. Keep in mind that I did only play the game co-op, but so long as the second player A.I. isn't too incompetent, I can't imagine that the gameplay suffers too greatly from playing by yourself. I did say that I have almost nothing bad to say about the game though, and there was one part that pissed me (and Ricky) off to no end.

RESIDENT EVIL 5 SPOILERS BELOW
So at the end of the game you find yourself facing the final boss in the form of a heavily mutated Albert Wesker after your chopper goes down inside an active volcano. Crazy, right?! Well, the scenario is cool enough, but the trials and tribulations you need to face to actually defeat Wesker are infuriating. Rather than just blasting the hell out of him you need to wait for little orange orbs to appear on Wesker's body before you can injure him. This only happens on specific, scripted occasions, which is nothing new for the Resident Evil series (or video games in general), but in between these moments of target practice the "fight" can be very confusing. As we played we found ourselves dying or failing repeatedly and being forced to complete the same series' of events over and over as we tried desperately to figure out what we should be doing. I hate it when games go from being fun to becoming a test of endurance and patience via trial and error. Even that isn't the worst part though. There were other scripted events going on during the fight as well, such as a sequence where my character (Sheva) had to hang onto a cliff for dear life while Chris fought to keep Wesker off my back. During this entire segment I had to repeatedly tap the square button to keep from losing my grip on the rocks for about a minute at a time. Imagine having to do that close to 30 TIMES IN A ROW! By the time we'd finally figured out what the hell we were doing and defeated Wesker I was more happy to be done with the game than proud that we'd beat it.

END SPOILERS
Forunately, the part of the game described above was really the only down point. Aside from that one instance I never felt too confused or frustrated about what we were meant to be doing or where we were meant to be going, which is one of the most important parts of any good game. For a good co-op game, I'd honestly have to say that there are very few I'd recommend before Resident Evil 5. In fact, Army of Two may be the only one I can think of that tops it.

The Cartoonist

2009-05-14T20:25:00.012-04:00

Someone is making a documentary about Jeff Smith, and it's about damn time if you ask me. I found this trailer a day or two ago via Twitter and I'm already sold. Where can I get a copy of this thing already?!

Cool Posters For Upcoming Sci-Fi Movies

2009-05-13T03:10:00.003-04:00

Some (myself included) would say the art of movie posters isn't much of an art anymore, so it's incredibly refreshing when I come across a movie poster that really inspires me to see a movie on it's own these days. I was just researching some films for My Movie Radar and discovered a couple of cool posters for some sci-fi movies coming out in the near future. Check 'em out:

This poster for Moon is easily the most awesome retro movie poster I've seen since this one for last year's highly underrated Jason Statham heist film The Bank Job.

This one also gives me a retro vibe. It may be the color scheme, but I think the main thing that gives me that nostalgic feeling is the small inset pic of the guys walking through the desert. When I look at that image I can't help but think of the beginning of Planet of the Apes. Then, of course, there's the fact that the character in the larger image looks an awful lot like Boba Fett...

This one's got a more modern feel, but it's still pretty neat. I almost think it would work better without the text.

It's hard to say with any certainty how effective this poster is considering that this is the largest picture of it that I could track down via Google, but even a minute, blurry image such as this outshines the other two (one & two) typical, uninspired posters for this film. It almost looks like the cover to some old, tattered sci-fi paperback you'd find packed away in your grandfather's basement or something.

Advice To Future Students

2009-05-09T15:50:00.002-04:00

or
How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love
The Joe Kubert School of Cartoon and Graphic Art
As my third and final year at the Kubert School drew to a close in 2006, our writing teacher Mike Kraiger asked each of his students to write two final papers for him. One of those papers is what I'm posting here: a list of advice for future students. To my knowledge Kraiger never actually showed these lists to any of his incoming students, which is probably a good thing. Mike had a good sense of humor though, so we were all encouraged to be completely honest with the assurance that none of the other teachers or staff at the school would ever see what we had written. As I was looking for some old Broken Legacy work on my ancient hand-me-down IBM Thinkpad, I came across this list and got a few good laughs out of some of the things which I had written and subsequently forgotten about over the course of the last three years. So here, edited only for grammar and punctuation, not content, is my list of advice for future students of the Joe Kubert School of Cartoon and Graphic Art.

Oh, and the second of those two papers Kraiger asked us to write? It was a person by person critique of each of our instructors at the school. I may post that one at a later date as well, but I fear that my commentary may have been a bit too biting in that paper. Anyway, here we go.

- To avoid unnecessary headaches (and poverty), use the school's copy machine only when absolutely necessary.
- Concerning copies to be made off the premises of the school: bite the bullet and drive the extra few minutes to Kinkos. Their employees are, as a whole, far less incompetent than those of any of their competitors.
- Time Saving Tip: Ink "spilled" on the back of an assignment (obscuring a given grade) will allow it to be turned in for more than one class.
- Time Saving Tip: Weed out the assignments that are less important and/or less interesting than others and employ the use of tech pens, RoseArt non-toxic watercolors ($0.94 at Wal-Mart), and a simpler, 'cartoony' style on them.
- Painful as it may be, make each teacher feel like you're holding their current assignment in the highest regard.
- For the sake of concentration, if you insist on having a television in your possession, DO NOT get cable.
- Likewise, the internet is not recommended.
- Also, it is unwise to keep a bookshelf of your favorite books and comics within arm's reach of your art desk, or even in your peripheral view.
- If you have no interest in pursuing a job as a computer colorist, don't feel the need to color every single assignment in Photoshop. There are much faster ways to color (i.e. the aforementioned RoseArt watercolors).

If you are living in the school-provided housing (or if you have roommates regardless):

- Keep a list of all of the DVDs, CDs, Comic Books, and other assorted valuables that you have in your possession to make it easier to keep track of what's gone missing.
- Shower at night as those few extra minutes of sleep will seem precious the next morning while everyone else is fighting for the bathroom.
- Do not leave your toothbrush and toothpaste in the bathroom, but instead keep it in your room. This way you can brush your teeth at the kitchen sink in the event that someone is holed up in the bathroom all morning.
- Make a habit of reusing the same cup, plate, etc. so that when someone starts bitching about somebody not washing their dishes you have an alibi.

- Become friends with the office ladies. It will pay off eventually.
- Pretend to laugh at Mike Chen's jokes. There's no way to really get on Debbie's good side (presuming that she has one), so Mike is the next best option.
- While in the classroom, employ the use of headphones and a discman or MP3 player to block out distracting conversations which will draw you in and go nowhere for extended periods of time (i.e. "Who would win..." and "Well, I think Spiderman 2 is better because...").
- For privacy while attending to 'business' at school, use the upstairs bathrooms.
- Don't get yourself too worked up over the DC and Marvel portfolio reviews. While everyone involved means well and it can be a worthwhile experience, the companies in question take these events much less seriously than the school does.
- Difficult as it may be, try to choose a desk in the classroom that is surrounded by classmates who bathe regularly. This will prove increasingly important as the summer months approach.
- What seems like a friendly argument of opinion can draw the line between enemies and give sarcastic classmates weeks, months, or even years worth of material to use against you. Avoid them as much as possible.
- Tempting as it may be, a trip to Taco Bell at lunch will almost always result in being late to your second class.
- To separate the men from the Dorians, if you must talk on your cell phone during class, leave the room first.
- Car pool.
- Get a digital camera and take reference photos. It's time to stop pretending.
- While the school is preparing you to be a professional, unless you're getting paid for your work, a missed deadline is worth a better final product and a more impressive portfolio.
- When showing your work to Irwin, make sure a sheet of tracing paper is strongly secured over your pages.
- Don't rush every single assignment. At any give time you should have at least one assignment that you are trying your absolute best on.
- Considering that the school is located in Dover, New Jersey, learning a little Spanish couldn't hurt.

A Feast For The Eyes

2009-05-09T02:54:00.005-04:00

I have to imagine that if you're reading my blog you probably know me in some regard, because I kind of doubt that I'm drawing any new fans/readers with posts about Beyond Re-Animator and what I've bought recently. So since you already know me you must know that Jesse Munoz and I have been collaborating for some time now on a potential comic book series called Broken Legacy. You did know that, right? Of course you did.

Well, as of late we have been refining the project and preparing (what we believe to be) a pretty solid pitch package to begin sending off to prospective publishers (damn, that's a lot of "P" words...). As of tonight we're about 99% done with the pitch. We've just settled on the final cover image that will serve as the visual backbone to the pitch, and so excited are we that Jesse and I are giving you, the people, a sneak peek at said cover image. So sit back, moisten your eyeballs, and prepare to gawk, because here it is in all it's color-ific, be-logo-ed glory:

And while I'm at it, just for kicks, here's a quick excerpt from the pitch itself:

"When an evil wizard by the name of Malacan begins dredging up the troubled and mysterious history of the land of Aeronen, the elderly King Talior enlists a pair of traveling brothers/soldiers named Tobias and Gabriel to help defend the kingdom from his enemy’s forthcoming onslaught. As they battle for the good of their homeland, the brothers will be forced to face the unfortunate truths behind their broken family legacy, as well as their future, through hardships which they never perceived possible."

As soon as Jesse whips up the actual pitch packets and sends them my way to give the once over (hopefully sometime within the next week), we'll be ready to start putting our money where our mouth is and hopefully getting the attention of some publishers. Cross your fingers for us.

Recent Acquisitions 001

2009-05-08T05:10:00.002-04:00

I guess there's really no point to this post other than for me to be able to brag about all the neat things I've bought lately. You'll notice that there's a number in the title of this post. I'm not planning on starting any kind of weekly/regular/scheduled features on this blog because I'd just be setting myself up for failure when a week rolls by with no posts, which is bound to happen eventually, let's be honest. I do imagine that I may write another post similar to this one in the future though, so that's what the "001" is all about. Anyway, here's some shit I've bought over the past few weeks:

Click The Pics To Enlarge
Tank Girl Volumes 1 & 2

A week or three ago I was looking at a book we have at Beyond Comics called The Cream of Tank Girl, which is like a history of her publication with lots of pictures of the comic and it's creators, and it really got me interested in Jamie Hewlett. I know that most people are familiar with him from his work on The Gorillaz, but I immediately became interested in the primarily black and white Tank Girl stuff. I've got no real knowledge of the character, but his art was enough to make me pick up these two books for about $15 a piece. I've only just skimmed the surface of Volume 1, but so far so good.

Invincible Ultimate Edition Hardcover Volume 4

Invincible is one of the very few series that I will pick up both in single issues and a collected format. I'd been buying the trades for a while, but when these hardcover collections started coming out with all of the sketches and other backmatter included, I started collecting these instead and gave my trades to my good friend and fellow Invincible fan Brian.

Dirty Pair II

A few weeks ago I got into one of my major artist obsession modes, this time focused on Adam Warren. The only comics I really had that he'd drawn were the first four volumes of Empowered and some random Gen 13 stuff, so I turned to eBay and Wikipedia to see what else I could find. I am now the proud owner of almost every Dirty Pair comic Adam has ever drawn. I still haven't had the chance to read most of them, but here they are.

Dirty Pair III: A Plague of Angels

Dirty Pair: Sim Hell Remastered

As of the writing of this post, this is the only Dirty Pair series I've had a chance to read. I wanted to go through them in order, but this one arrived at my house first and I felt the need to jump in a start reading. I'll never say that Dirty Pair is one of the most intellectual reads out there, but it's awesome because Adam Warren fully embraces that fact. I've become a massive fan of Warren as a writer as well as an artist over the past few years (primarily through Empowered) because of how fun his stories are. I always seem to find this odd connection with the stuff Adam writes. It's as though he and I have the same sense of humor. Also of note: his artwork is amazing.

Dirty Pair: Fatal But Not Serious

Dirty Pair: Run From The Future

Bubblegum Crisis: Grand Mal TPB

While researching Adam Warren's past works I came across this Bubblegum Crisis mini-series he had drawn, so I snagged the trade off of eBay as well. It's similar to Dirty Pair in that it's about some hot ladies who fight crime, though they're a quartet rather than a pair.

Jet

Back in the day I recall seeing this mini-series on the rack, but didn't know exactly what it was. As it turns out, Jet is the daughter of Backlash, a character who I've never been a huge fan of, but he's a member of Team 7 so he immediately gets a pass from me. Cut to a few years later when I read The Authority for the first time and become an instant fan of Dustin Nguyen (who drew this series) and it became of great interest to me. For whatever reason it's just taken me this long to track it down and pick it up for pennies on eBay.

DVDs

A large portion of my DVD collection comes from Blockbuster Video and their frequent 3 for $20 used DVD sales. I acquired these three titles from one such sale. Zack & Miri is the only one I've rewatched thus far, and I enjoyed it pretty much just as much as when I saw it in the theater. Pride & Glory was one of the sleeper hits of 2008 in my book. I wanted to see it because I'm a big Edward Norton fan, but the trailers didn't do much for me and I was expecting to be bored by a stereotypical cop mystery. Surprisingly, Pride & Glory exceeded all of my expectations and earned a spot in my Top 10 movies of 2008 list. Definitely a pleasant surprise.

My Eyeballs Just Exploded!

2009-05-07T00:20:00.009-04:00

So there I was editing the new episode of The Sidetracked Side Project, which features my father and I predominantly discussing the X-Men movies. I wanted to use the theme song from the 90's X-Men cartoon as the intro music for the podcast, so I went to YouTube to find a clip of the show's opening which I could rip the music from. You all remember that intro, right? If not, or if you do and would simply like to relive your childhood, enjoy the clip below:

Anyway, while rummaging through the clips for one that didn't sound like the audio was recorded from across a busy city street during rush hour I came across the following video, which had me wide-eyed and mouth agape in disbelief:

Okay, first of all, how fucking awesome is that animation?! I think I may be in the process of shitting myself right this moment. Has everyone else seen this but me somehow, or is this seriously the discovery of a lifetime? When I saw that clip for the first time a little while ago my mind was racing a mile a minute with questions like, "There's an X-Men anime out there?!" and, "How have I not heard of this, much less never seen it before?!" Before I knew what hit me, I'd discovered this equally impressive and mind-blowing clip:

At this point I was wondering where the hell I could find full episodes of this show and debating whether or not I could sit through it without dubbing or sub-titles if it came down to it, because there was surely no way an X-Men show like this could have made it state-side without me knowing about it. As it were, this shouldn't have been able to pass below my radar regardless of where it was available.

As a quick aside, I found it funny that in this clip the sound effect used when Cyclops shoots his optic beams is the same sound you hear in Ghostbusters when they turn on their proton packs.

Alas, what I quickly discovered is that those last two videos are just the new intros that were added to the show when the American X-Men cartoon was aired in Japan. My question now, though I love the 90's X-Men cartoon, would have to be, "Who would sit through that show after it was preceded by one of those two amazing intro segments?" I would sure as hell feel cheated if I was flipping through the channels and came across one of those clips only to have it abruptly end and segue into the same show that I watched as a kid. Seriously. Why didn't that animation studio just make their own X-Men cartoon? I would kill my parents if it meant I could watch an X-Men cartoon with that animation!

Okay...maybe not my parents, but someone else's for sure.

Still awe-inspiring (especially the second one, with the close-up of Wolverine's claws), but much shorter are these following four videos which are quick bumpers that were made to bring the show back from commercial breaks when aired in Japan. To my knowledge, these, combined with the two longer clips I posted above, are all that exist of this anime-style X-Men animation. If anyone out there knows of any more footage like this, please, for the love of god, let me know about it.

Contents of a Man's Dead Sketch Blog

2009-05-04T03:33:00.004-04:00

As I mentioned in my first post here on Weird and Pissed Off, Jesse Munoz and I began a sketch blog on January 1st of this year which ran daily right up through sometime in April when things all began to fall apart. One day shy of 100 straight sketches I ran out of steam, and now there's one more sad, abandoned blog out there among the wasteland we call the internet. If you'd like, you can check out all but my final sketch from the blog in the gallery at my deviantArt page where I posted them in weekly updates. I thought about posting them all here, but that would be a lot of work, and honestly, many of them aren't that great. So instead I'm just going to post my ten favorite sketches from "Another Sketch Blog" here for your viewing pleasure. In no particular order, and with some commentary when I feel like it, here are what I consider my ten most notewrothy sketches from my now defunct sketch blog:

Click The Pics To Enlarge

I did this one over the course of two days. Panda first, then Mack. Body Bags is good ~~clean~~ fun. You should read it. Now.

As with the Body Bags piece, this one was drawn over the course of two days. Guy first, then Bats.

This one was (obviously) drawn from a photo. I'd just re-watched Pitch Black and watched The Chronicles of Riddick for the first time before I drew this.

Again, referenced from a photo. Rambo's head looks a bit big, and I gave him a hell of a beak, but I like this one nonetheless. One thing I like about it is how quickly it was drawn. This was one of my last sketches and I was about a week behind, so I think I drew like 6 sketches the night I did this one.

Shaft never looked cooler than when Steve Skroce drew him. The first of his two issues of Youngblood was the inspiration for this one.

My Abbey Chase doesn't look like a supermodel the way she does when J. Scott Campbell draws her, but cut off the super and I think mine could still pass for a model.

I'm a big fan of this drawing because of the odd path it took to get where it is. I was reading Wintermen at the time and as a result I was way into John Paul Leon for a few days. I decided to try to draw this sketch in a more Leon-esque, simplified style with some harsh shadows resulting from the explosion being created by Cannonball's powers. As I worked, the simpler my linework got, the cartoonier the image looked, and I liked the look I had inadvertently ended up with, so I embraced the style and ended up with the first drawing of Cannonball ever to resemble Tin-Tin.

The Sword is awesome. You should read it. Now.

One day I read Brian Stelfreeze's story in The Ride, and ever since then I've been drawing guns in the process of going off.

This one was drawn over the course of five days. Alone, I wouldn't have included any of these character sketches here, but as a whole it's worth showcasing.

As a bonus, here's my own creation, Man-Gull. God willing, one day he will be the star of a gloriously cheesy monster movie. Cross your fingers now.

Free Comic Book Day '09

2009-05-04T02:21:00.001-04:00

Free Comic Book Day was a pretty massive success for Beyond Comics this year. I'm pretty sure it's always our busiest day regardless, but this year was our most profitable yet. We had comic artist Sean Chen in the house at the Frederick location where I work and Gene Ha at the Gaithersburg location. At the Frederick store we also had fellow co-worker Mike Imboden in the house signing copies of his comic Fist Of Justice, and a few other local artists peddling their wares. Not to mention, some people from the Roy Rogers next door were at the store giving away coupons and free chicken tenders. I worked the evening shift and closed the store on Saturday, so I missed out on the free food, but I stocked up on coupons with which I plan on robbing Roy's blind over the next few weeks.

Re-Animate Your Feet!

2009-05-01T18:26:00.001-04:00

I saw Stuart Gordon's Re-Animator for the first time a few years ago (late to the party once again, I know) and became an immediate fan. Not only of the movie, but of Gordon himself and Jeffrey Combs. Not long afterward I tracked down both of the sequels. Neither were directed by Gordon, nor were they anywhere near as good as the original, but both had their redeeming factors (first and foremost, the return of Combs as Dr. Herbert West). The second film, Bride of Re-Animator, just felt like a re-hash of the first movie. The third film, Beyond Re-Animator, is rather peculiar.

I actually thought that Beyond Re-Animator was a more original and enjoyable film than it's immediate predecessor, but to cut production costs the film was shot in Spain with an almost entirely Spanish cast. Apparently the English dialogue spoken by most of the characters was so difficult to understand that the majority of their lines had to be over-dubbed, which is quite obvious and sometimes jarring when you watch the film. The entire look and feel of the Beyond Re-Animator is quite bizarre, but the oddest thing of all is the music video included on the DVD. To my recollection this song doesn't appear anywhere in the movie, and as you'll hear when you listen to it, it would be quite hard to miss in a moody, suspenseful horror film. I mean, it's a full-on house/techno song that would fit better in A Night At The Roxbury than Re-Animator. When I first saw it after having just watched Beyond Re-Animator I felt as though I was in some alternate dimension because of how out of place it is.

There really is no way to describe the video, so why not just give it watch:

I'm not sure what's more odd, though: the fact that this video is in any way related to Re-Animator or that I actually find the song kind of catchy...

I Don't Know What's In There, But It's Weird And Pissed Off, Whatever It Is...

2009-04-30T21:52:00.003-04:00

Well, here it is. My new blog. Nothing fancy.

The daily sketch blog that Jesse and I had going for just under 100 days (my last sketch was my 99th) has fizzled out, and I've been criminally neglecting What I've Been Watching for months now, so I've decided to begin a new blog. This time around I'll be keeping things loose and carefree. I spent the last few years bugging Brian to start a blog, and as soon as he did I began to yearn for the freedom of posting topics that he had since I never had a general interest blog of my own. Now I do. I'll be posting artwork here as well as news, videos, rants, movie reviews, and anything else that I damn well feel like.

For my first post, I'll leave you to consider this image and how wonderful it would feel to personally come across one of these in the street:

More to come...