I totally stole this idea from Errant Ways, which is the personal blog of the wife of one of the hosts of a podcast I listen to. Cool? Cool.
Basically, I decided to go through my "favorites" on Twitter and pick out some of the noteworthy tweets written by the people I follow over the past year to list here for your reading pleasure. I'm not gonna say they're all comedy gold or anything, but each one of the following tweets struck some kind of chord with me.
benito_cereno @rianmiller People who know absolutely nothing about comics are fine; people who know just a LITTLE bit are the worst. FACT.
RobertKirkman My son and I just watched spider-man 2. Guess how many times he asked "why did spider-man take his mask off?". He's 3 years old.
michaelianblack Thinking of opening a post-apocalyptic theme restaurant called "TGIS" Thank God It's Shelter. Mostly serves canned foods.
thebrianposehn I know I'm not the first person to comment on how nasty baby shit is, but my boy's poo could eat through the hull of the Nostromo.
askanison Alien: Horror, Aliens: Action, Alien 3: Drama, Alien Resurrection: French
McKelvie I've got Myst on my iPhone. That shit used to be 4 CDs!
JayCheel Drag Me To Hell: Proof you don't need to wear glasses to feel like shit is flying at you for an hour and a half. AWESOME.
benito_cereno Attn., Value City Furniture: no one says "sofa potato."
McKelvie Every time I see a red pipe or door now I think I'm supposed to climb it or burst through it. No tattoo under my eye, though.
CBCebulski Japanese news reports a 56 year-old man arrested for stealing girls' panties... dressed as Spider-Man. >sigh< Just once, can't it be Batman?
CBCebulski Comic cons are the ideal hunting grounds for chubby chasers.
headgeek666 Put in TRANSFORMERS on Blu - to remind me of the storyline, before seeing TRANSFORMERS 2 in IMAX tonight. It's like pulling back the scab.
thebrianposehn Off to the gym. Not really,but everybody tweets that. Really gonna watch The Blob (the one with Kevin Dillon) and have a coke for breakfast.
filmjunk Transformers 2 summary: Nononnoonoo OPTIMUS! DRIVE DRIVE DRIVE Gogogogogooggogooo
mattfraction my dad once told me he delayed his entrance into the Army so he could catch the end of a two-part MAN FROM U.N.C.L.E. episode.
radiomaru Amazon: people who bought [2008 movie] also bought [every other 2008 movie, regardless of genre or quality]. who ARE these people?
tonymoore i love working w/ @remender because his scripts have notes like "The dude is for real dead." and "The fuck do I care? Figure it out. Jesus."
fetorpse @tonymoore My dear sweet @benito_cereno leaves me ones like "Establishing shot of tokyo airport. Fuck you, google it."
errantways RT @PolarBear_ Unanswered prayers are NOT god's way of saying you don't need something. They're god's way of saying, "I don't exist."
michaelianblack If you replace "Yankees" with "police" and "Red Sox" with "protestors," the sentence, "The Yankees are beating the Red Sox" is horrible.
fetorpse Hey twitter, whats it called when the big titties kind of spill out of the top of the bra? Is there a name for that? Like tit muffin top.
warrenellis I bought a carton of oat milk just to support the kind of person who can find udders on an oat.
funrama I like Football. But every single game is decided in the final 2 minutes, so football games should only be 2 minutes long.
tonymoore they should change the name of the show to I Will Eat The Balls! With Andrew Zimmern.
warrenellis Did Lindsay Lohan ever have an actual job? Or was she simply deployed by Hollywood podmasters as Your New Famous Person?
robertliefeld Ticket for New Moon purchased....man license revoked. Will draw grim And gritty comic pages to regain self respect tomorrow!
SarahKSilverman I would eat fish but I can't because I have a nose.
cully_hamner @erikjlarsen I don't know if I'd feel right giving a 10-year-old a comic in which Batman breaks the Joker's neck, but hey, I ain't a parent!
warrenellis I would kill for a jam doughnut. You. I would kill you for a jam doughnut.
Greenskyzero so suddenly xmen 3 isnt so bad. brett Ratner must send the wolverine people a card every christmas
warrenellis Me: iTunes For Windows, would you please just open my library? iTunes For Windows: I would rather die than serve you.
fetorpse Falling asleep watching Speed Racer is like falling asleep in a lover's arms.
JayMewes I Have a Boner
warrenellis If anyone here is thinking about killing someone, please leave one of my books at the crime scene. I could use the press.
james_gunn So @mia_matsumiya asked me what I wanted for my birthday. I told her ass-to-mouth.
And, to satisfy my vanity, one of my own tweets which I recall fondly:
rianmiller No, #youmustberetarded. RT @brian_weiner I have a new found respect for Hinder. #imustbedrinking
Oh yeah, follow me on Twitter: @rianmiller
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