The Best of Twitter 6/10 - 9/10

Whenever I read a funny, or otherwise noteworthy tweet from one of the 300+ people I follow on Twitter, I make a point to "favorite" it, which catalogs the chosen 140-ish characters so that I may easily re-visit them later. This post is a way for me to share those tweets which I thought were worth a second glance with an audience they may not receive otherwise.

The last time I wrote one of these blogs, it collected some of my favorite tweets from the previous year. Ever since then I began exercising the "Favorite" button more frequently, which is why this blog only contains roughly 7 months' worth of tweets. Hopefully that means that I've been taking the time to recognize more quality tweets than I had previously, and not that I've subconsciously lowered my favoriting standards just to have an excuse to write another blog. I'll let you decide.

@warrenellis I believe Mel Gibson should be the next Batman, and he should end his every line with "...but you will blow me first."

@pattonoswalt Just visited MySpace. Half the lights are out, bears are living in my comments section, and a homeless guy's been pooping in my blog.

@EricCanete Jeezus. If I've gotta spoiler alert Hunt for Red October for you...sorry, but it's not my fault you're fuckin' lame.

@warrenellis When writing animation, you inevitably reach the point where you think: okay, time to make the animators weep with pain.

@writerspy Writers who name minor characters things like "Fat Guy" and "Boobs" fail to consider those names land on some poor actor's IMDb page.

@pattonoswalt How did my daughter shit straight up her back? Am I in The Matrix?

@diablocody I just saw INCEPTION. Ellen wears these cute little neckerchiefs in almost every scene. I loved it. #GirlReview

@JElvisWeinstein Bill Clinton says he'd like to climb Mt Kilimanjaro before he dies. Sounds like "two birds with one stone" territory to me.

@Greenskyzero the mac spell check knows Injins is wrong and recommends changing it to indians??? my red brothers...I give you Progress!!!!!!!

@warrenellis Ah, people dressed as Ghostbusters, you do indeed smell like hosing the dead.

@adamcarolla Watching my daughter playing with her ipad. I had an ipad when I was her age, it was called an etch-a-sketch. #freakout

@JElvisWeinstein Going out to dinner with my wife for our 11th anniversary. If she doesn't order onions on her Subway Club, I'll know I'm in.

@JElvisWeinstein Number of people dressed as superheroes in one place: 5000+. Number of crimes foiled: 0

@warrenellis Me: iTunes, what's going on? iTunes: I'm fucking your mother's bones. Towel me off and I might let you update your apps.

@errantways My desire for a healthy, trim body is often overpowered by my desire to eat a can of frosting and a box of cookies while laying in bed.

@warrenellis Just played my daughter the song I want played at my funeral. Daughter: "You sure you don't want 'Heaven Is A Halfpipe'?"

@adamcarolla fridays at 5:30 aren't nearly as fun when you don't have a job. On the other hand I'll have my revenge monday morning.

@adamcarolla My girl is playing w/a toy cash register,my son is playing w/a dump truck.Cute,but if they grow up and work w/ these things,I'll kill myself

@adamcarolla watched x games. why do the bmx big air guys leave the huge pegs on the axles? isn't that just one more thing to go up their ass on impact

@MarkBrooksArt they're filming Vampire Diaries down the street! Quick, where's my flamethrower?!

@adamcarolla Let me just say this, if Joy Behar was the voice of my GPS, I'd steer into the first 18 wheeler I saw.

@fetorpse I'm never going to figure out how to spell occaisionally

@AnthonyRaneri Not sure if the correct verb is "using" or "wearing" so I'll just say that I'm currently utilizing a snuggie

@michaelianblack Idea to make bowling really weird: paint the pins so they very realistically resemble crying children.

@Christosgage If I don't shave pretty soon I'm going to have to start a cult.

@adamcarolla In Denver, just joined the mile high club by beating off in hotel shower. A wins a win.

@warrenellis Sometimes I think 50 FIRST DATES was the first great horror film of the 2000's.

@SarahKSilverman My favorite planets are Mercury, Saturn and Mazda.

@mattfraction i think i misspell "misspell" every time i spell it

@skottieyoung Watching Lost s6. It's like your High School girlfriend. She was great but you just don't like her anymore yet you won't break up with her.

@JElvisWeinstein Back from Servo vs Servo panel here at #dragoncon. @kwmurphy and I will always share the bond of having our hand up the same ass.

@warrenellis Daughter snarkily amazed that I cooked a stirfry and didn't kill her. In retrospect, and for different reasons, so am I.

@jerhaun You know, the X-Files would be a COMPLETELY different show if they had smart phones.

@SarahKSilverman The kid on 2 1/2 Men is a man. They have to change the title to Three Men. I WILL DIE ON THIS HILL

@bclaymoore Oh, see....on That 70s Show, Eric is sleeping on Spider-Man sheets featuring a logo not used until the 90s. What a CROCK! I QUIT!

@pattonoswalt Facebook dead. Also MySpace. Twitter has 2 more weeks. Friendster now meta-ironic. Get ready for BlabberSplat in November!

@benito_cereno The LOST finale was beautiful and poetic from my pov. I guess i am too dumb to have been confused by it.

@warrenellis Can't wait for Halloween. Been storing candy for the local kids in those old underpants I found in the woods ALL YEAR.

@ScottAukerman SUPERHERO TRAGEDIES Spiderman: "My uncle died because of me." Batman: "My parents died in front of me" Cyclops: "I have to wear sunglasses!"

@pattonoswalt You: "Why me?" The Universe: "And you are...?"

@warrenellis Spent last 3 hrs un-virusing Lili's laptop & explaining that if I catch her using IE again I will confiscate her arms.

@Pacifistoffury The worst advice I've ever followed is, "Be yourself."

@errantways I'm worried that the most meaningful obstacles I'll have to overcome in my life will be papercuts and carpal tunnel syndrome.

@benitocereno Oh my god, sitting down is the best thing.

@clastowka If Tom Brokaw wrote a book about people my age, instead of "The Greatest Generation" he could call it "You Guys Remember Thundercats?"

@errantways Does it make me sound like a grinch to say that the sound of most christmas carols makes me want to scratch my own eyes out?

@rosscampbell transformers 3 trailer crashed my browser. probably for the best.

@warrenellis finally, a word iPhone won't try to autocorrect: "shitwaffle"

@anthonyjeselnik I've spent two years looking for my ex-girlfriend's killer. But no one will do it.

@pattonoswalt Is it called "Wet Seal" 'cuz "Whore Depot" was taken?

And finally, here's a 2-parter to end off with:

@james_gunn Pure heaven: watching Celebrity Rehab & eating @mia_matsumiya's gooey butter pumpkin cake.

@james_gunn And by 'gooey butter pumpkin cake' I do NOT mean 'vagina'. (But by 'Celebrity Rehab' I do mean 'fisting.')